by special request i'll be blogging my way through my experience in culinary school, documenting, commenting, and analyzing my experiences for those of you who are interested. culinary school confidential. secrets of a culinary student. culinary student rant. whatever you want to call it.

i'm just taking one class this quarter to kick everything off - intro to professional cookery. i have class two days a week for 5 hours each, consisting of a short lecture followed by 3-4 hours of kitchen time. i'll have this basic techniques class for 5 weeks, then we'll switch to the soups, stocks and sauces class with the same instructor for the next 5 weeks.

so, week one. my program is geared towards working professionals, and my fellow students consist of about 23 people from all different backgrounds who are all there for very different reasons. we have people like me who just love to cook and want to make a career out of it, retirees, a flavor scientist, dog hotel owner, hair salon owner, lots of finance people, a journalist, personal trainer and a slew of others. most of this week consisted of introductions, getting acquainted with the facilities and equipment we'll be working with, culinary history, and basic knife cuts. we've done julienne, brunoise, battonet, small and medium dice, rondelles, pommes frites, and tourne, to celery, onion, leeks, potato and carrots. i am learning knife skills that i will likely never duplicate in real life (a tourne is the most useless thing you can do to a potato, in my opinion, not to mention there are machines that produce a much more consistent cut than i ever could), but i'm glad i'm learning them. and i've proven to be pretty consistent with my knife, producing "beautiful" dices and rondelles, according to our assistant chef. and although i've gotten the knife motion down, the tourne needs some practice. anyone want to come over for a potato dinner anytime soon?

my french chef instructor, chef pierre, has started off a little easy on us, but i'm sure he's going to become more of a hard ass as the quarter moves on. he's got a great sense of humor and really seems passionate about our education. he is also passionate about recycling and being environmentally conscious, having us recycle every peel of potato for compost, every imperfect cut of vegetable for stock, and all of the more consistent cuts for use in the cafeteria. i am pleased to know that none of our practice is going to waste.

so i have survived my first week of class. i was anxious about how i would fit in, if wondered if i would know immediately if i was doing the right thing or not. well, i do fit in, and after one week i know i'm doing exactly the right thing for me. i already have the rudimentary skills, passion, determination and discipline, and i am eager and excited about everything, no matter now basic it seems, that i am learning. my right shoulder hurts and i've only cut myself once, sliding my knife into my kit. but everthing is perfect.

so, i've been busy, neglecting things like photography, communicating with friends and family, and blogging. there are lots of reasons for this - craft fairs, commissions, work, and most recently, finalizing details to start culinary school next month. !! i'm going to culinary school! everything is aligning right now to give me the opportunity to pursue a dream, something i have always thought about but never considered as a real option in my life. i'm taking the risk. i'm going to be attending kendall college under a part time culinary certificate program, and hopefully in less than two years i'll graduate as chef emily, available for all of your personal chef and in home catering needs. in the meantime, please be patient with me since i probably won't be seeing much of you, either online or in person, for the next 18 months or so.

in other news, i can't believe it's already winter - currently 17 degrees and falling - and christmas is only two weeks away. i still have tons of shopping/crafting/cooking to do, and we still haven't designed let alone mailed our holiday cards. i have vivid memories of being a kid and telling my parents i was bored. where did those times go? i haven't been bored in decades.

in case i flake (which is likely) and don't log on again in the next two weeks - i wish you all a very happy and healthy holiday season, full of good company, good food, and good times.

i've rewritten this a few times now, and i'm having trouble putting my emotions into words. proud, excited, hopeful, elated, calm....emotional. we went to the obama election night rally in grant park last night, with 1,000,000 or so other people. the peaceful excitement that swept grant park was unbelievable, everyone was in such high spirits, laughing, smiling, crying....incredible. the sheer magnitude of the crowd was enough to make my eyes water, but hearing the cheering and the yelling and the chanting made my heart melt. i am so grateful to have been part of such a momentous night in the history of our country. i've never been so proud of america, to be an american. we're not half bad. it was an absolutely incredible experience i will remember forever.

top moments (which greatly outweighed the lows):
1. the moment i realized this would be an expeirence i would tell my children and my grand children about.
2. saying the pledge of allegiance with a million other people. crying while doing so.
3. seeing the throngs of obama supporters smiling and laughing as we crowded the streets leaving grant park. without the cheerful excitement, the scene would have been straight out of an armageddon film, littered pavement and cars unable to move through the crowds overtaking the streets. but everyone was elated. the cops were even smiling.
4. watching virginia turning into a blue state. sorry, dad.
5. buying the "chicago's in the house" t-shirt from a guy on the street. the white house with a chicago flag. awesome.
6. having a near painless commute home. thanks, CTA!
7. seeing a metal detecting security guard stop wanding someone in order to clap for obama getting ohio.
8. realizing that i am still considered a member of the "youth vote".

low moments:
1. hearing the wrong words sung during the national anthem. didn't anyone give the lady a lyrics sheet? that was bad.
2. annoying obama fan shouting "yes, sir!" and "we're behind you!" after EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE our president elect said in his victory speech.
3. porta potties. unavoidable.

my friend trevor took some much better photos.

i voted this morning. i was expecting hours of waiting, annoying ignorant poll volunteers, and grumpy fellow voters. instead i was greeted with the most streamlined voting experience i've ever had in my neighborhood. speedy and intelligent volunteers, cheerful and peppy neighbors waiting in line with me, and only 22 minutes of my time spent on the whole experience. i bounced off to work with a great feeling, the beautiful sunny almost 60 degree day brightening my spirits even more.

and tonight, we will be attending the Obama election night rally in grant park! (special thanks to our friends who are taking us as their guests.) i'm still sort of in a fog about all of this, and as a friend put it, "it will be historic no matter WHERE you are!", but i'm really looking forward to being present during one of the key moments of probably the most amazing election in history.

in other news, i turned 29 a few days ago. it has hit me a little harder than i thought it would...i know i'm still young and still have time to do everything i want to do in my lifetime, but it feels like a turning point. i'm expecting this year to be pretty awesome, and i'm really looking forward to 30, but i can't help feeling like i've forgotten something, left something behind with my 20s. i've got less than a year to figure out what that might be.

happy election day!

things i've cooked in my kitchen recently that i want to cook again. soon.

1. whole wheat honey bread with strawberry preserves
2. mashed carrots with basil pesto (this one is making it on the thanksgiving menu this year)
3. roasted pear, caramelized leek, and blue cheese salad with lemon vinaigrette
4. cheesy broccoli and cauliflower soup
5. pork and cabbage potstickers with spicy honey soy dipping sauce
6. pot roast with figs and carrots (recipe coming soon)

due to lack of free time recently, i realize i've turned this blog into a list a la my little brother. i hope it's still somewhat interesting.

5 random links that speak of my obsesions:

1. fellow emily makes beautiful beautiful birdies.
2. i'd love to see 4 or 5 prints from the bird branding project hanging in my house.
3. love birds.
4. amy ruppel christmas cards!
5. i'd like to wipe stuff up with this.

i woke up 4 minutes before my 5:30 am alarm went off this morning, and couldn't fall back asleep because i couldn't remember if i had reset my alarm from 6:30 to 5:30, so i checked the iphone and the brightness of it fully woke me up and i was screwed. it also woke up my cat, she looked at me all squishy faced, like "turn that shit off, crazy lady. it's too bright and it's early and i'm trying to sleep here." she is not nocturnal at all, that cat. i think she sleeps in the same position next to my elbow all night long. she is also a little bit senile, despite being only 5 years old. (which is apparently 36 in human years according to a handy cat age conversion chart i found on the internet.) she likes to "hide" under tiny pieces of blanket on the bed. over the weekend i found her front half huddled under a blanket with her nose peeking out, her bum fully out in the open, like an ostrich. it made me smile. for a long time. i even took a photo so i can look at it when i'm down. pets are entertaining, and i'm glad we've domesticated them.

summer has finally calmed down, hubb has stopped traveling around the world for work and i've stopped putting social drinking engagements on my calender every single evening.

i've been wearing a lot of dresses, and am feeling more girly than ever recently. dainty and fragile and emotional and all that. i think it might be a hormonal thing, but for now i'm indulging myself and giving myself more breaks than are probably necessary. i'm probably becoming an annoying pain in the you know what because of it, actually. i should stop.

but right now i am ready for a nap and a snack and a pedicure. if i could eat a huge fried somethingoranother and then nap while being pedicured, that would be ideal.

i'm getting to a point in my life where i'm questioning what really matters to me. what the important things are, things and people i should be concentrating on. friendships, family, goals. less on the little things and more on the big picture. it's making me more centered and easy going, i think. the big picture is good.

a few recent events have changed my big picture thinking, and i've noticed a difference in the way i am dealing with them. it's a good thing, it just makes me reflect in a way i haven't before.

so. in other news, we're redecorating the house a bit, to help keep it fresh and exciting and more spacious so we can stay there until the market begins to crawl back up. which is tearing me apart because i want to buy a bigger home while the market is down. it's a conundrum, that's for sure. but we have a halfway finished office/craft space that i actually want to spend time in, and i have a few plans for our great room and master bath. little things that will change the big picture of our living spaces.

i've also quickly learned that i need to pare down. get rid of some things i've been hanging on to "just in case", but "just in case" is never going to happen. so. purge. there is no reason to hold onto 10 pairs of dress pants that are 3 sizes too small. really.

i've been taking a yoga class and i'm finding it invigorating and calming in ways i've never found exercise to be. not that it's overly aerobic, but i'm feeling stronger and more balanced, and that can only be a good thing for my body. although i totally threw my hip into a tizzy with a triangle pose last week, it still felt good to feel things i don't often feel.

the big picture still felt great.

wow, so a month, huh? so long, so busy. what's been happening......raw = amazing, hard to go back to once it's broken. i'm trying again real soon. i need to stop being so social and peer pressured into eating grilled meats and drinking so much. i need to stop drinking so much. but that's what summer's for, right? being social and eating grilled meats and drinking cold beverages. but also for feeling healthy and energized and learning how to eat things that aren't cooked and still be excited by them. which i continue to be, i just have reverted back to my omelet for breakfast and pasta for lunch "old" me because it's easy. it's hard to eat when you have to think about every thing all of the time.

so, foods are abundant and recipes are flowing (mint chocolate muffins, chicken with wine and grapes, mint-lemonade-vodka, raw marinara, pickled cauliflower, etc.) i plan on writing about the raw experience and jotting a few raw and un-raw recipes soon.

plus, i broke my technology retardation and bought an iphone. on release day. after standing in line for 3 hours. if you know me, you know that's so not my thing, but it's really really amazing. i don't know how i properly existed before having the internet in the palm of my hand. incredible.

also, i finished a few commissions and am taking a break from painting for the next few months to concentrate on fabrics and patterns and stuffing. stuffed horseys and teddy bears are due to some babies that are quickly growing out of baby stages. i need to get working.

so last week was my first week of the raw detox. it kicked off swimmingly, i learned how to make all kinds of delicious raw treats: nut butter, gazpacho, many many juice concoctions, etc. i even learned how to order sensibly in restaurants and resist the temptations of my friends, loved ones, and coworkers. despite a few hurdles (dinner parties, sushi date, drunk food) i made it through the week probably at about 75% raw, which is great!! even during the 25% cooked portions i was still able to stick to my rules and make proper combinations (no mixing meat with starch, nuts with fruit, etc.) the weekend was very social, and therefore hard to stay raw, and so today my stomach is like, "wtf? where's the bread and the beans and the chips, dude?" i'm having a very very difficult day.

on the plus side, i'm drinking less caffeine, i feel energized and awake after eating instead of sleepy and sluggish, i'm sleeping better, and i've lost 3 pounds. i'm also recognizing some of the detox side effects, which is the whole point of this two week "diet". be gone toxins!

so it's the start of week 2 and i have some yummy recipes on the menu this week, and lots of fruit and veggies in the fridge. later this week i plan to post a few of the recipes that i'm planning on adopting into my diet permanently once i'm done detoxing.

but now i'm off to eat jicama salad and gazpacho when i'm really really craving a giant piece of pizza. and some sushi rolls. and spaghetti with meatballs. sigh.

how come every single summer i get sick? like winter cold flu like sick? like i want to bundle up on the sofa with tea and soup but it's 80 degrees outside and sunny which makes me even more miserable? it is terrible, i tell you. simply terrible.

so there's lots going on this summer despite my best efforts to have a relaxing and calm season. not much travel (for me, anyway) but lots of parties and weddings and get togethers and such. my social calendar is booming. no offense to my wonderful friends and family, but i want some time to myself, too. i have a laundry list (growing by the minute) of home improvements, gardening initiatives, crafts, recipes and weekend jaunts i'd like to start crossing off. plus a few painting commissions and some research into new venues to display and sell my art. any ideas?

even though chile was only less than two months ago, i'm feeling like i need another vacation. a real long vacation to somewhere exotic and magical. i've decided on paris for our next wedding anniversary. only 10 months to go, plenty of time to dream and save and plan and learn french.

a bientot, paris.

so i've had a few nervous breakdowns recently, have noticed changes in my body and my emotional health, and have decided to do something about it. i've recently become more interested in raw foods, and the health benefits associated with eating a mostly raw diet. i purchased a new book the raw food detox diet, and i'm both nervous and excited about the prospect of changing my diet habits for the better.

the diet is based on a few basic principles (in addition to many more , which make perfect sense. it's all about doing what's best for your body, rather than tricking it or forcing it to behave unnaturally.

1) enzymes. your body uses enzymes to break down the foods you eat. "dead" (cooked) foods do not have any live enzymes in them to replenish what your body is using to digest them. raw foods have all of their enzymes in tact to facilitate digestion. as you grow older and your metabolism slows down, this is due to the depletion of enzymes.

2) food groups. different types of foods (meats, fruits, starches, dried nuts and berries) require different enzymes to break them down in the stomach. when you mix them, the different enzymes can fight against each other, requiring much more time for digestion, therefore leaving the food in your body much longer. eating in specific groupings and avoiding mixing will help digestion along happily and smoothly.

i'm not going to go all out and totally raw (i love my braised meats more than anything), but i am going to make a few key changes in what i put into my body.

1) more raw veggies. this is always hard over the winter months when our csa is on hiatus and walks to the grocery store are undesirable, but it's getting nice out and our veggie deliveries start in a mere 3 weeks! i'm also purchasing a juicer to make some enzyme rich breakfast juices.

2) less alcohol. i keep threatening this, but i'm finally doing something about it. i feel better when i curtail my drinking, less bloated, fewer headaches. some mineral water with lime in my wine glass gives me the same mental pleasure (i deserve something special) that a glass of wine does most of the time.

3) better planned meals. i can never give up my white pasta (they don't make whole wheat buccatini that i can find), but i'm going to start thinking more about what i'm eating with what. i generally create well rounded meals, in the traditional sense, but following the raw diet guidelines will become more of a part of my meal planning. veggies with everything, no mixing meat and starch, no fruit for dessert (causes fermentation in the stomach), waiting 3-4 hours in between meals and snacks, with the exception of fruit which leaves the stomach in 30 minutes. (did you know that?)

there is lots of room for flexibility here, but i truly believe that following these few basic principles for the majority of my diet will be highly beneficial to my overall well being. for me it's not so much about losing weight as listening to my body and treating it well, which is important as i'm getting older. plus, i never knew how tasty juiced romaine lettuce is.

i'm finding lots of happiness today, despite the rain and humidity and tummyache my unhealthy lunch caused me.

in chronological order:

1. saw that my dining room table is not overtaken by crafts because all of my paintings are patiently waiting for someone to purchase them at DEPART-ment. stop by opening night tonight for the best picks.

2. i left the house having a good hair day, felt skinny in my skinny jeans, and the shirt/jacket i bought in chile still fits perfectly and looks very cute.

3. i discovered these little beauties. they still make me happy even though hubb's veto against any more bird decorations places them out of my grasp.

4. reflecting and feeling happy about so many of my friends' and family members' recent changes....i'm feeling positive about separations that are for the best, moves to new cities (even if they take my friends far away), moves to MY city, purchasing of new homes, new jobs, babies.

5. dreaming about veggie and egg and fruit shares that begin june 14. only 7 more weeks...

i've been absent for a while...partly because i've been so busy but also because i'm doing my annual questioning whether or not this is even worth keeping up. so there it is.

what have i been doing?
1. painting. i'll be selling some pieces at DEPART-ment this weekend. come check it out!

2. visiting. traveling to virginia, having guests, visiting with friends who live closeby but i don't see nearly enough.

3. celebrating my 5 year wedding anniversary in santiago, chile. the trip deserves its very own long winded post, which i will get to, i promise.


what am i looking forward to?
1. my little brother graduating college in a few weeks. college! i can't get over how grown up he is.

2. my mom moving to chicago next month! yes, really! it's almost final...

3. summertime. bike riding. skirt wearing. drinking beers outside. our veggie and egg deliveries. all that good stuff.


i'll see you all soon.

despite the weeklong congestion-from-hell-head-and-chest-cold i'm still battling, and the fact that we owe taxes AGAIN, i'm glowing today. so much happiness and wonderfullness. some of it big, some of it small, but all of it nice and sweet.

loveliness:
1. we're almost ticketed for our trip to chile next month. a stewardess friend of my mother's is helping us out with buddy passes, saving us about $1500. more money for yummy food and wine in the maipo valley. yes sir.

2. we got a letter in the mail yesterday from our mortgage company, the 6 month battle we've been fighting with them regarding our property tax has been resolved. instead of projecting we owe property tax on our entire 13-unit building, they have finally adjusted our monthly escrow payments to reflect just our unit. and not only that, but the check for the balance of our overpayments is in the mail.

3. hubb and i both got pleasantly surprising raises this month. more than we were expecting, which is nice.

4. last weekend allowed us to travel to virginia where we spent just under 48 hours with my entire family, including many small nieces, nephews, and cousins. it was so much fun, and reminded me, once again, of what an amazing family i have.

5. it is 54 degrees right now. spring time is on her way, and my wardrobe couldn't be happier. flats and dresses and flowiness is aching to come out. goodbye black sweaters and boots. good riddance.

now if only my nose would clear up.

so i've been reading a few inspirational "100 things to do before i die" lists recently and i wanted to put my $0.02 in, too. as i started to think about it i began to consider a few parameters, like do i start the list from here on, neglecting the things i have already accomplished but would be an a top 100 list if i were to write it for me as a baby? do i think in the attainable (learn to make ice cream) and also in the improbable (visit the moon)? do i list things that are similar but different as two different entries? (visit paris. visit london. visit prague etc.) 100 is a lot of things to think of, can i shorten the list to 25 big ones? oh the decisions i have to make. whelp, after all the thought and typing out about 20 items, i gave up. i'm not going to parasail in australia, probably ever. or hike the entire appalachian trail. it's just not going to happen. then i realized i'd listed about 15 things i'd already done (fall in love, graduate college, learn to make pottery, get a tattoo, etc.)

so instead, here's a list of things i've purchased in the past week:

- plane tickets to nyc
- a brown bathing suit
- an adoption fee for a pink flamingo at the national zoo (a gift for my step mother's birthday this weekend)
- a wallet pattern from a girl on etsy
- 3 bottles of my favorite wine (although i think technically hubb paid for that)
- comcast hd cable installation fee

it's been a slow week. before i die i'd like to have a week where i don't purchase a single thing. i think i've got a while to fulfill that one.

i've had a sudden uplifting...maybe it's the shopping spree i've been on that is lifting my spirits, or passing my annual review at work, or wearing dresses a few times a week that's doing it, but something has brightened my outlook tremendously in the last few weeks. it's good.

in other news, i think hubb and i have decided on a 5 year anniversary trip - - santiago, chile. it's a new experience for both of us, good food, good wine (two of my favorite wineries are in the maipo valley), we won't be berated with recommendations and tips from our friends (no offense, but we really want this trip to be 100% ours, you know?), and most importantly, it will be warm. low 70's to be exact. no too hot, not too cold, just perfect. oh my god i can't wait. hopefully we'll be buying the plane tickets and locking in our plan very soon. airfare is outrageously expensive, but hotels, rental cars and meals will be cheap, and looking at the mountains and the ocean on a 70 degree sunny day is free.

i've been totally distracted by random silliness lately, namely these barack and hillary sites. you've probably already seen them, but enjoy anyway. it's fun to compare.

i complain all the time about, well, everything, but quite a bit about being busy and having nearly every day in my planner filled with something to do. oh, poor me, with lots of social obligations and places to be. yeah, i'm going to stop complaining because i am in fact very very lucky. incredibly lucky to have such a great network of (incredibly talented) friends who want to be around me, family who love me and want me to come visit them, coworkers that i want to hang out with after 5pm, opportunities to volunteer, the strength to exercise (occasionally) and the financial stability to fit in a few shopping trips in between. life is pretty good. and if that means i take a few less lazy sunday photos and make a few less meals at home, so be it. even if it makes me sigh and start complaining about my busy life again.

just wait until we have a kid.

i'm not pregnant. that wasn't an announcement, just a reflection.

ok, then. so i'm antsy for springtime and just ordered a few cute ruffly things with bows in colors! actual colors other than black and denim! i'm looking forward to rust orange and peacock blue and yellow and white to come back into my daily wardrobe.

i'm wearing a cranberry color today (underneath my black sweater) in honor of valentine's day. i don't have the cynicism a lot of people do about it being a hallmark holiday, which it totally is, because i enjoy the romantic moment it inspires us take with each other, to pause and accept and enjoy each other in the midst of our busy lives. sometimes life just happens underneath you and you catch yourself taking your significant other (or your family, or your friends) for granted. valentine's day is just one of those days that makes us step back and feel grateful for the love we have in our lives. and maybe get some flowers out of the deal.

so happy heart day, friends. i love you.

i'm still feeling listy. which i am now associating with lazy.

a. the barista at the starbucks that i pass on the way to work has been upgrading me from a grande to a venti, often enough that i am beginning to wonder if it's his way of flirting or if i just look damned tired.

b. i've often looked at the potbelly's bicycle delivery people and wondered if that might be a fun job, riding around the city, making people happy by bringing them food.

c. after eating anything i want for a weekend full of visitors, it's hard to get back to normal and resist buffalo blue cheese fries when they're available.

d. i am so desperate for a vacation, so much that i almost "accidently" bought plane tickets to montreal for the end of the week, and daydreamed a story of why i needed the time off work.

e. looking at potential apartment locations with friends this past weekend got my itchy for something new. i'm sort of slightly considering a few open house visits this weekend. or not. if i am feeling lazy. which i am.

some things. (i'm totally into lists lately)

- for some reason, anti my usual critical self, i adore this.

- i want to create little business cards that say "i can hear your music. your headphones don't work." to hand to people on the train. i think that would be the polite thing to do, because these people are probably unaware that they are being rude.

- i bought a box of lemongrass tea from the ethnic cosmetic/hair care section of cvs a few weeks ago. it was $1.49 and is currently my favorite beverage.

- i feel totally awesome after tae bo monday. i'm antsy to go back and punish my leg muscles some more. once they stop throbbing, that is.

- i have found the most wonderful toy box, ever. i want it.

- i am almost done reading animal, vegetable, miracle, and it is totally making me want to go live on a farm and raise turkeys and tomatoes and squash. if you're at all into food you should read this inspirational, educational book.

- i would like a vacation soon. somewhere warm, please.

things i've been thinking about.

- it would be cool to have a chandelier for my dining room table that is also wine glass storage. the wine glasses hang by their stems around the light, creating sparkly romantic lighting and easy access to stemware.

- diy baby stuff. i think one of the reasons hubb and i don't have any kids yet (one of the many many reasons) is that we are against all of the consumerism associated with raising children. disney this and sesame street that, toys and gadgets that we probably need in some capacity but really don't want to have to buy...or find a home for in our little condo. i don't think we'll ever get our families to go along with this, but i'd like to stick to as much of a diy aesthetic/lifestyle as possible when we finally decide to expand our family. handmade wooden and felt toys, handsewn clothes, homemade baby food. i think i have the gumption for it, we'll just see if someday i'll have the time to execute.

- another friend had a baby on friday, and surprise! it was a girl. what are these people eating/drinking that they all are having girl babies? but they're all perfect and beautiful and i wouldn't change any of them into boys. welcome to the world, alice! (i love that name so so much!)

- i keep buying artwork, and i've sort of run out of places to put it. i think i'd like to turn our hallway into a randomly arranged gallery of art...i just need to gather up the courage to put a bunch of nail holes into my walls.

- i keep pretending i'm going to go to a gym, do some aerobic activity, exercise, but i always find an excuse not to. it is possible that some people just aren't built for being active or am i just being lazy?

today: 10 things about me

1. i love love love blue cheese. everything about it is perfect.

2. i occasionally go through these ADD fits where i can't concentrate on anything for more than a minute. like today on the train i was trying to read newsweek and kept getting bored 2 paragraphs into each article. i hate when that happens.

3. i love to paint my own nails. i love getting pedicures, but i often feel that in my anal retentive attention to detail self, i do a better job at the painting part. sometimes i go through the whole summer with an impeccably self maintained french manicure and pedicure.

4. i have a lot of trouble following recipes. i always feel the need to change it, even by just a little bit. that has resulted in tragedy more than once when i've tried to bake.

5. i bit the tongue of the first guy i ever french kissed. i'm still amazed that he gave me a second chance.

6. i really dislike green bean casserole. with a passion.

7. i have these dual busybody/lazy sides to me. i love me some couch sitting in the evenings, but when i'm home sick, i have to do stuff. i often spend hours in the kitchen making chicken broth, then soup from scratch when i'm home sick from work. it makes me feel better.

8. i believe strongly in holistic and homeopathic medicine, though i don't practice it regularly.

9. i love almost anything with flavored with almond.

10. i used to play soccer when i was a kid, and my nickname was "speedy gonzalez" because i was short and fast.

wow food. so much yumminess in my kitchen lately.

1. braised whole chicken with rosemary, pears, and vermouth. holy cow it was so juicy and tender and delicious. from all about braising, a cookbook i bought for myself over the holidays. i tried to follow the recipe verbatim, which i rarely do, and it was well worth it.

2. bucatini with chicken, artichoke hearts and caramelized onions. using up some of the shredded rosemary pear chicken, and the yummy pear/vermouth sauce that came with it. i added a tiny bit of tomato sauce to thicken, and it was simply divine.

3. turkey meatloaf. sounds boring, but dinner last night was one of the best things i've made in a very very long time. the recipe:

- 1/2 onion, diced
- 1/2 large red bell pepper, diced (or 1 small)
- 2 cloves garlic, chopped
- 4 cups ground turkey (or chicken)
- 1/2 cup ricotta cheese (i used low fat)
- 1 egg, beaten
- 1/4 cup bread crumbs
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 1 tbsp truffle oil
- 1 sprig rosemary, chopped finely
- salt and pepper to taste

preheat oven to 375. saute onion, bell pepper and garlic in about 1 tbsp olive oil over medium to low heat until soft. meanwhile, mix together all other ingredients. add onion pepper mixture. form into a loaf and set atop some firm bread pieces to sop up the juices as they run off. (i used mini bagels that were stale and ready for the garbage anyway.) no ketchup, no chili sauce. just yum. oh my god so good. i served it with baked potatoes which i rubbed with a little olive oil, salt, pepper and a tiny bit of the truffle oil, and some simple steamed broccoli with lemon. perfect. and pretty! the red pepper in the soft pale meatloaf is so festive.

we just happen to have two different bottles of truffle oil we received as gifts from wonderful wonderful friends. i have been trying to come up with sneaky ways to use them without overpowering dishes, and this turned out heavenly. if you don't have truffle oil, don't fret. you could use any flavored oil (basil, garlic, chili) or run out to your nearby gourmet store, plop down the credit card and purchase the most deliciously indulgent condiment you'll ever buy. and it will be worth every penny.

today i am:

1. happy about my new amy ruppel purchase!
2. wishing i had bought two.
3. so so cold i wish i wore long johns.
4. anticipating jamie oliver's guinness + steak + cheese pie i was going to make last night but instead will be making this weekend.
5. still reeling from my bra fitting at intimacy.
6. really full from too much bread and soup at lunch.
7. excited about an upcoming post about my work on the apartment therapy nursery blog!
8. needing a change, something different.
9. thinking i should maybe leave the credit card in the wallet for a while.
10. considering becoming a nanny.

so, last night i had the privilege of eating dinner at custom house, participating in a unibroue beer and food pairing. on the menu: mussels, lamb, rabbit, duck, venison, sweetbreads, and 6 other delectable delicacies paired with 6 yummy inspiring unibroue beers. it was a fantastic sunday evening meal, though i think hubb and i both reached a meat threshold by the end of it.

today is supposedly the most depressing day of the year. and, surprisingly enough, i'm actually having a pretty good day so far. woke up late, but made it to work on time, feeling sort of cute in my outfit today, and already getting response to my new etsy items. also, although i rarely stop by starbucks on the way into work, i did today, treating myself to a caramel latte. after the first of our monday morning meetings, hubb walks in with a vanilla latte for me as well. so i'm double fisting the caffeine today, which is probably part of the cause for my uplifted mood, come to think of it.

i'm trying to waste time and distract myself from eating the second half of my sandwich for lunch today....after 12 courses last night, following a few months of overeating, i'm trying to make my stomach a little more normal sized by limiting portions. tough for a girl who loves food. i'm learning a few tricks, though, and hopefully i'll learn enough self restraint to change my habits. wish me luck.

perhaps i just need more coffee.

hi there! i've just finished some new audubon collage paintings. check them out on my arts and crafts blog and my etsy shop.

enjoy!

i’ve been on a sort of blah icky moody lately…not quite sure why or how it came about, but it’s here and i can’t seem to kick it. i don’t want to be around people during the day. i don’t want to go to work, or to meetings or even volunteer…i want to be at home. always. under a blanket, sipping tea (or a sidecar). i want to paint and cut and paste and learn to knit and cook complicated extended prep dinners every night. no more of this 9-5 business (or 8-6). i want to pet my cats and take naps and long walks at 11 am and use my camera a lot. and go to the grocery store when nobody else is there. and explore this city that i love so much. i want to be alone. i’ve been thinking of ways to make this happen and have come up with three options:

1. quit my job, never buy anymore clothes, shoes, fancy toiletries, or interesting imported wine, beer, or spices ever again.
2. move to rural michigan. become a dog walker.
3. hope hubb someday gets paid twice as much as he does now, stay home and raise a baby.

seeing as these aren’t really options right now, it looks like i’m stuck with my current routine for a while longer. i’ll likely get out of this rut once winter starts to fade (which by the look of the weather forecast today isn’t going to happen anytime real soon). until then i’m trying to find ways to intermittently cheer myself up that don’t include drinking or eating too much. it’s hard. really really hard.

one of my cheer ups includes shopping, which really should be put on hold. i have also been going through a reorganizing kick, redoing my petite walk in closet, which has succeeded in cheering me up immensely. i got rid of three huge bags of incorrectly sized bras, out of style shoes, and ill fitting and a little too worn clothing, and in the process discovered some old favorites that have made their way back into my rotation. like the vintage inspired grey boat neck angora sweater i’m wearing today. (i would never buy angora now, but having purchased this sweater nearly 5 years ago makes it ok to continue to wear).

i've also been taking a break from cooking recently, being much much busier than i expected i would be this month. but i think i get to cook dinner either friday or sunday, which will mean comfort food galore. i’m antsy to roast a chicken and make some gravy and mashed potatoes. or braise something. or make some pasta. and marinara sauce from scratch. oh i wish i could just stay home the rest of the week and cook.

2008. it's off to a good start, i think. and already broken resolutions (i ate a huge cheeseburger for lunch today, had a beer last night, and have been totally slacking on my artwork.) but there is a lot to look forward to this year, which i'm noticing as i'm consolidating calendars and spreadsheets for the new year.

2008 is the year of travel. we're going somewhere almost every month starting in march. virginia for my step-mother's 60th birthday, virginia again for my little brother's college graduation (i can't believe he's about to be a grown up in the real world and all that. he's still 12 to me sometimes), boston to visit a very very good friend, new york city to visit my brother-in-law, montreal (maybe) for a little weekend getaway to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary, turkey (yay!) for a long overdue weeklong vacation and to see my best friend get married...again, and finally los angeles (maybe) for my uncle's 50th birthday + a family reunion. in between maybe we'll fit in a cabin weekend in michigan or a night in milwaukee, too. maybe. we'll see how our already depleted travel budget treats us.

2008 is the year of friends. more babies (only 3 due in 2008...so far), more weddings, and a couple we met on our honeymoon 5 years ago are moving up from texas this spring. and definitely more babysitting and being amazed at how fast the 2007 babies are growing. i am already in awe at the fact that i knew these women...some of them before they met/married their mates, and then they were pregnant, and now there's a little person with their lips and their husbands' eyes, and they've grown strong enough to sit up on their own and smile at you and use their hands, and soon they'll be talking and walking, and actually recognizing me when i hold them. i don't want them to grow up.

2008 is the year to get organized. i'm a pretty anal person, i love organizing the kitchen cabinets, balancing the checkbook, tidying the counters, but there are parts of me and my home that are disheveled and need attention. we need to purge closets and filing cabinets, and i'm starting this week with my small walk in closet in our bedroom. new shelves, drawers and hooks and i should have a closet that a) you can actually walk in to, and b) can actually find clothing/shoes in without looking under piles of crap on the floor. february will be office month, tackling the closets in there as well as our filing cabinet. purge purge purge!

2008 is the year for a lot more, but i'll just let it happen as it happens. now it's time to stop thinking about the future and start doing it and living it.

so i'm jumping back into cooking head on, trying new things, experimenting. i tried my hand at candy making for the holidays, which turned out pretty well, i think. maple almond brittle graced the holiday tables of a few of our friends and much of our family, and i am pleased to say that i will definitely pick up the recipe again and again. it may become my holiday staple.

i'm also venturing deeper and deeper into the realm of baking, making this pecan fig bourbon cake from this month's Gourmet magazine for a dinner party over the weekend. holy cow. i halved the recipe and edited the icing to just a simple powdered sugar/bourbon icing (no cream), but otherwise i followed the recipe to the letter, and it turned out wonderfully! it didn't collapse, it didn't turn into a brick, it didn't taste like raw flour...it tasted heavenly! definitely one for the repeat recipe file, i say.

tonight i'm venturing into the land of paella. i got a paella pan for christmas with a really great recipe book and tonight i'm testing a classic seafood paella on some unsuspecting friends. actually, they totally suspect since i ran the ok-to-eat-shellfish question by them before planning the meal. i'll try to remember to take photos if it's pretty, which i feel like it just might be.

2008 has so far been relatively healthy (minus the bourbon cake and two beef dinners in a row.) i'm not drinking on weekdays, which was a big change for me as i do enjoy a glass of wine with dinner nearly every evening. i have taken one long walk, practiced one pseudo yoga session, and am drinking more water and less carbonated beverages and caffeine. my weight hasn't come down in the past week, but it's been less fluctuating, holding at a steady number each morning, which is nice.

the next few weeks are full of business: closet reorganization, thank you notes, tidying, volunteering, cooking, haircuts, babysitting, baby showers, parties. and a little less booze and a lot more health. and paella.

to do this weekend, in order of most probable:

1. make a few more paintings for my etsy site.
2. make caramelized onions for pizza party saturday night.
3. cook something time consuming, warm and comforting.
4. write thank you notes for christmas gifts.
5. take some photos.
6. take a long walk. (possibly in conjunction with #5)
7. read.
   
8. finalize new website.
9. with hubb, write up travel budget for 2008.
10. clean out closet.

as i traditionally tend to do, i purchased myself a few things this holiday season while shopping for friends and family (for the gifts i didn't make, that is.) i thought i'd share a few of the highlights:

1. warioware touched, a new game for our nintendo ds. (just came today and can't wait to play it.)
2. all about braising: the art of uncomplicated cooking. (not here yet, but can't wait to start making the recipes.)
3. a custom girls best friend wallet from jennalou. this girl is amazing. and the wallet is wonderful and beautiful and perfect. i got a smaller one for my mom, and plan to have another one made for my mother in law's birthday.
4. a simply vera wang dress from kohls. i was thrilled that they actually had size small in virginia stores, but after getting home i'm not exactly sure how i feel about it. the flowy wide cut garments seem to look better on tall thin ladies, not short and stout framed me.
   

whirlwind christmas 2007 memories, in no particular order.

1. lots of books, a tv, identical sets of s+p shakers, bird art, booze, 200 year old fruitcake, x-acto knives in my stocking, britney spears perfume (really), electric socks, paella. generosity.
2. amarula.
3. apples to apples with both sets of families + scrabble + christmas story monopoly (cheaters).
4. babies. cousins, nieces, friends. and yet another pregnancy for one very recent new mother. more on this later.
5. natural bridge, va.
6. the cellar.
7. a possible near brake-in, adt security being on the ball, and friends who we owe dearly for being there in our absence.
8. ham. ham. pork loin.
9. allergies.
10. mid-50s, rain, forgetting dreary chicago winter.

well it's about that time again when i reflect on everything i've learned, loved, feared and experienced throughout the past year.

last year's resolutions:
1. Lose 10-15 pounds. (use my gym membership, eat less cheese, drink less wine) RESULT: did not do it. i actually gained 5 more pounds. and ate way more wine and cheese than i should have, i think. oh, and i quit the gym, too. but i'm happy with who i am and the size of my pants. for the most part anyway.
2. Be responsible and more knowledgeable about the large purchase we made in 2006, especially the tax implications. (read our condo docs, talk to our lawyer) RESULT: well, i didn't read our condo docs, i didn't talk to our lawyer, but i became the secretary of our condo association and i have recently spent the last two months dealing with a mixup between our mortgage company and cook county, having been wrongly assigned property taxes for the entire building versus our individual condo.
3. Sell something I make. (etsy) RESULT: YES! i did it! i made my bird collage/paintings, sold about 50 of them, and have big plans for 2008. yay!
4. Travel somewhere new. (Montreal, anyone?) RESULT: nope. nada. oh wait, that's not true...i did visit holland, michigan. that was new.
5. Let things go. (keep reminding myself that I cannot possibly control everything, all the time.) RESULT: not so much. i keep kicking myself for not doing more, not being more busy, not making more, cooking more, doing more. i can stand to work on this one.

And a bonus: Watch my friends have babies and stop feeling guilty that I'm not ready. RESULT: yes and no. watching them has made me more ready, but not quite there yet. and i don't feel so much guilty as left out...i want to be able to share in the experiences that my friends are having rather than watching on the sidelines. but there's time. no worries.

2007 was a pretty good year for me. i started making things, selling them, feeling good and confident about them, and my abilities. i watched 12 babies be born (well not actually literally watched, but you know what i mean...). welcome to the world ava, abel, addison, blake, bella, ceridwen, gabriella, jack, sophia, sophie, stella, and tierney. (and tbd due in february. and ANOTHER friend recently pregnant as well!) (notice the two lone boys abel and jack in there. why is everyone having girls?!) i got a wonderful new camera. i stopped the 365 project. i learned how to make candy. i moved my company's office. i drank a lot of wine and learned to love classic cocktails even more (my hubb makes a pretty killer sidecar, tom collins, and manhattan.) i got a new tattoo. i discovered new names for my future children. i committed to a new volunteer program to start in 2008. i watched my best friend get married to a wonderful man. i watched two other sets of friends get married. i stopped wearing high heels, then started wearing them again. i rediscovered dark nail polish. i hosted thanksgiving for my in-laws for the first time, and survived. i had an excellent year, really.

i also had a somewhat hard year. emotional and life changing at times, stressful and depressing at others. the virginia tech tragedy sitting high on my list. right behind my brother's reaction to it and his situation with the u.s. army. but this year the happy times greatly outweighed the sad ones, and 2007 is ending on an amazingly high note. i'm looking forward to what 2008 might bring, and 2009 even more (i'll be 30!). life is only getting better.

so, resolution time. although i'm getting a little down on myself for not living up to the majority of them each year. but here they go anyway:

1. be a little bit healthier. not lose weight per se, but eat a little better, get a little exercise. i've let things slip the past few years and as i get older i need to take care of my body a little bit better.
2. take more photos. i think i'll start 365 again, and maybe a few other flickr groups because i am a nerd and need that kind of motivation. i think i also need to experience more enlightening things, put myself in situations that elicit me taking out my camera.
3. write down my recipes, menus, ideas. i tend to wing it when i cook then i forget what i served at my dinner parties.
4. travel. dammit, i need to get this one out of the way before we grow our family. luckily my best friend is having a wedding ceremony in turkey next fall, and i'm totally there.
5. grow my name, make more paintings, sell more, put myself out there. redo my website, apply for more craft/art fairs. see where this thing can go. wish me luck.

and happy holidays dear readers. i really appreciate the 3 of you. 2008 will bring a new website, a new look, some new content. fresh, clean, fun. just you wait and see.

xoxo - emily

and on to winter. it snowed last night and when i got home from the bar i was sharing a birthday drink with a friend at, (her birthday, not mine), there were tiny little paw prints in the snow leading up the stairs from the door to my house. my first thought was, “oh how cute. a little fluffy bunny rabbit was hanging out on our stoop!” then i saw the little trail in between the prints and realized it was a rat. a very very large rat based on the distance between his feet. i will never open my front door without banging on it to scare off potentially rabid vermin first.

so i have been crafting like crazy lately, as i am making about 75% of our christmas gifts this year, am participating in two christmas ornament swaps, and have sold a few custom paintings since the diy trunkshow. i have a lot of felting, painting, cutting, beading and cooking to do in the next couple of weeks, in addition to having a very busy month at work. forgive me if i finish all the wine in the house between now and new years.

as my impatient self, i’ve jumped the gun and already started using my cute angela adams organizer intended for 2008. it’s fill in the blank, so i was easily able to start using it early, but i’ve now lost that new feeling, and have no datebook anticipation left for the new year. a new datebook is one of the things i most look forward to each year; it’s starting from scratch, a new beginning, a blank slate. and now it’s started.

i was at a convenience store the other day and was romanced by the holiday candy display into purchasing a box of nearly 100 tiny candy canes. i was craving a peppermint treat, and only after getting back to the office did i realize that it was a mistake. i cannot stop eating them, despite their being cheap and kind of chewy and a little too artificially minty.

i'm thoroughly exhausted today, as i came to work at 7am monday and tuesday, and then today, when i was going to sleep in until 6:30, a snowblower outside my bedroom window woke me up at 4am. i have been a bit punchy and lacking concentration these last few days, and i swear if i don't get 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep soon i'm going to throw a temper tantrum.

...which would maybe scare the rats away at least.

thanks to everyone who stopped by to see me and hillary at the diy trunkshow saturday! i am still on cloud nine over the response i got from my pieces, and am very pleased with my sales (sold about 33 pieces, plus one more today via e-mail!). this was definitely a great starting point for my new venture, so keep your eyes out for more activity in the future. i'm already considering other venues, consignments, fairs, and website updates in the near future. yay for using my art degree!

and check out my new website emilykberman.com. there's still a lot of work to do on it, but it's a good starting point.

also take a look at the pieces i had for sale at the trunkshow on flickr here. i'll be updating over the next week or so to reflect what's sold and what is still available, and i'll also be putting up the leftovers plus some new pieces over the next few weeks on my etsy shop.

thanks again, friends, for the support and excitement over selling my art. i couldn't have done it all without you!

ten things

1. my brother. to make the long story short: he signed up for the national guard under a "college first" program, experienced the terrible event at virginia tech last spring, went to boot camp all summer, decided his beliefs did not agree with the military's and applied for a discharge on the grounds of conscientious objection. then on halloween he received a phone call that he was to be deployed to iraq in two weeks. after phone calls and meetings and stress and worry, the army finally agreed to honor the terms of his contract and postpone deployment until after he graduates. in the meantime hopefully his c.o. application will go through. it's been a tough few weeks.

2. ink. during this time of concern and fear and overwhelming love for my brother, i got a tattoo for him, and he got one for me, though not the same. we're close. and i had forgotten that tattoos don't hurt as bad as i think they do, and they are really gross while they heal. i'm almost there, but i'm afraid i'll have to get the stem touched up because i probably didn't take the best care of it in the initial stages of healing.

3. collecting. i purchased a vintage eva zeisel pitcher off ebay in september, and after forgetting to update my shipping address (our office moved), decided it was lost forever within the USPS. it finally came today, 6 weeks after the first delivery attempt to the wrong address. i'm smiling.

4. thanksgiving. 8 days to go before i serve dinner to 10 in my tiny condo. hubb's parents, grandparents, brother, our friends with their new baby, and the new mom's father. a 25 pound (give or take) turkey will be joining our house for a few days, and i'm feverishly putting together the agenda and menu for 6 days worth of visitors. new recipes will be tried, old stand bys will sneak in, a mother-in-law will share my kitchen, and a gigantic turkey will be brined. wish me luck.

5. cooking. i love my new large le creuset dutch oven. it is my hero.

6. babies. i had to sneak them in here. i've had a lot of baby time in the past few weeks, and it makes me melt. three little girls are all within 5 minutes to an hour of my open arms. i'm already dreaming of craft camp at auntie em's.

7. sleep. since august or so there has been a squeaky chirpy noise in the wall behind my bed. it kept me awake for weeks, made me scream in agony and cry in frustration at my inability to silence it as it went back and forth between an occasional disruption to a constant annoyance. now it's finally fixed and the noise is gone, blissfully and happily quiet. and i can sleep. which is wonderful damn you, hot water recirculator pump. damn you straight to hell.

8. autumn. it's getting colder, then it's getting warmer, and i can't figure it out. i think it was 65 or something yesterday, while i'm ready to bundle and wrap, waiting for -10. at least give me a few solid weeks of 45-50 to get the fall out of my system before it is sleeting and icy. please?

9. photos. i've been back on a bit of a photo kick, going through old flickr pages, remembering when i was taking a self portrait a day for 365 days. i might start it again. maybe.

10. crafts. the diy trunkshow is this saturday and you should come see me in booth 24. i have shiny new business cards, pretty little buttons, and some pretty little bird collage paintings. hillary of sans couture will be sharing the booth with me, and will have some beautiful handmade jewelry for sale. come see us!

so i turned 28 today. and for the first time in my life, a birthday has actually made me feel older. 27 seems young and youthful and innocent, 28 is two years from 30. safe, mature, adult. not that i'm concerned or worried or saddened by this....it is actually really nice. i'm looking forward to an older more mature me, and today is the first day i really feel it. in a very good way.

i'm a material girl, i won't lie, so i love being showered with gifts on my birthday. so far i've received nummy truffles from a good friend of mine in maryland, yummy bath products from another good friend in virginia, some birthday cash from family (they know me well), an eames shell chair (two, actually, but that's a long story*) from my wonderful wonderful husband, and a 6.75 quart cherry red le creuset dutch oven on the way to me thanks to a generous gift certificate from my in-laws (who also know me well). life is pretty good.

and today: some twin baby time with my friend and her 2-1/2 week old little girls. tonight: hubb is taking me to the violet hour, of which i have only heard exceptional reviews. this weekend: jerry's sandwiches and some drinks and dancing with my friends. a girl couldn't ask for more, really.

so i'm having the best birthday ever so far, and i feel good things are to come in my 28th year of life. and i'm that much closer to 30, which, incidentally, will be my golden birthday. i plan to go all out in 2009, so get ready people. start stocking up on gold lame leggings and giant gold chains. i feel a costume party coming on, two years in the making. save the date and hire your babysitters now, friends.

thanks to everyone who has already (at 10:30 am) made this birthday very very special.

happy birthday, babies! a good friend of mine just welcomed her twin baby girls into the world on saturday. hubb and i visited them in the hospital on sunday, and after nearly 4 hours of baby holding, i'm in love. they are so precious and beautiful and amazing miracles. i can't wait for our first babysitting adventure!

welcome to the world, sweet girls!

i woke up this morning and the first thing i thought was, “it’s friday, right?” then i tossed the covers aside and thought, "it's autumn!" which made me that much more excited today. this is the beginning of a time of year that gets about 90% love from me, but with that lingering 10%...animosity, dread, resentment: for having to get out of a warm snuggly bed, get naked in the cold cold bathroom, and get into a warm snuggly shower, just to get out again and get goosebumps and shivers. i don't really fully warm up again until i'm sitting at my desk at work with a hot cup of tea. but i'm willing to put that aside for my beloved season.

i keep hearing people complaining about the briskness that has fallen over our city, and the impending frosts and chills that strike fear into the hearts of many, but i'm not scared. autumn is my favorite season, though short in chicago. i love the sunny crisp days, walking a little bit faster to warm the blood up, drinking more coffee and tea than usual. it is pumpkins and cinnamon, spicy red wines and roasted chickens, apples and soups and hot cider and everything braised. it is scarves and light jackets, when it's still not too cold to wear flats without socks, browns and oranges everywhere. i love the foods and the fashions and the colors and the smells of autumn and i, for one, an thrilled that it's finally here, and look forward to the frost it always brings. summer was one month too long for me this year.

i hate chicago summers. the throngs of people, the heat, the stinky sweatiness that you can't get away from. too many festivals and fairs and events with too many people packed into too spaces too small. but in autumn, people are calming down, getting ready for wintertime, before the contagious holiday spirit overtakes the people, the streets, and the stores, before the first big snow. i honestly think people are generally happier when we're transitioning between our two big seasons here. and i love chicago more in the fall, as we're quickly moving towards our windy snowy winter months. there's a quiet soft buzz about, the calm before the storm of winter in chicago. everything is more beautiful right now.

it's autumn!

random links:

- everything here is beautiful. especially this wallpaper.
- i heart the new design sponge site. re-bookmark it now.
- i'm slightly obsessed with piggy banks lately, and i really would love this jonathan adler one.
- small things have always been one of my favorite jewelry designers, and the new bits and pieces line is so wonderful. this ring (diamond, please) wants to be on my finger.
- i'm super into glammy gold jewelry lately, and this adorable little piece is one of my new lusts. oh etsy, why do you tempt me?
- everything at courtney skott is fantastic.
- my wonderful husband brought me back "vegetable ivory" earrings from his trip to london made by this woman. he done good. i'd also love to own a white ring. (hint hint)

i'm tired.

i've been inspired recently, by photos, stories, people, places, food, experiences....inspired to do something. i've been in a bit of a rut for a while, wishing for something bigger, something important, something new. it hasn't exactly come yet, but i'm less antsy recently, i think. i'm also catching up on blog and shopping backlog, which is giving me lots of new fashion, decorating and crafting ideas. something will come of it soon, i hope.

i think part of my restlessness is the result of the lack of a real vacation for a while. i've traveled, but none of it would i really call a vacation. if only i had a few more days free this year to take a swift little jaunt over to montreal or paris or mexico city. somewhere i can be anonymous and inspired. i'm tired of america. or probably just jealous and bitter that i couldn't accompany my husband on his recent week-long escape to london.

as two of my very good friends are nearing the end of their pregnancies, i'm finding myself obsessed with baby names and piggy banks. i've recently come up with not one but two baby boy names that i simply adore (after years of discussions and eliminations with the hubb), and i'm hoping they don't get used by anyone close to me before we get around to having children. i'm really into names that begin with vowels. so if you know me, and you're pregnant, and planning on using a boy's name that maybe begins with a vowel, please let me know so i can either exhale a big sigh of relief or grieve now and not after your precious baby boy arrives. because really, naming your child is first come, first served, in my opinion.

speaking of children, our first "child" (our cat, Eva) has been driving us crazy recently by going to whichever end of the house we are NOT in and crying. not just meowing but deep emotional painful to listen to crying. she does this when we're eating dinner, when we're watching tv, and every few nights at 3am when we're trying to sleep. i've found some advice online that tells me to ignore her, that even negative attention is the attention she is trying to get, but it's so hard when she goes on for 20 minutes at 3am. i've been trying to remember to shower her with affection every chance i get, but she reminds me that i neglect her every time i'm out too late or have a dinner party by waking me up with her cries in the middle of the night. i love her to death, but i'm nearing a breaking point here.

hey, today is our one year anniversary of homeownership! yay! we've been responsible homeowners for one full year. despite some flooding, mysterious noises in the walls, a sewage ejector issue and incomplete common areas, it's been great. and i think i might celebrate by painting or wallpapering something...

have a good weekend, friends.

wow. really? it's been over a month since i updated? wow. time flies, i guess.

i have been busy.
i visited my family, moved our office, went to two weddings and two baby showers, endured 4 weeks of physical therapy for a mystery knee injury, attended the most blogged about engagement in history, and my house tour appeared on apartment therapy, among other things. oh, and i got accepted into the diy trunk show! yay! i'll be selling my bird collages with my friend hillary of sans couture in a little over 10 weeks. eep!

things.
i just recently finished reading you shall know our velocity and i'm pretty sure it changed my life. though a bit of a vulgar and not exactly challenging read, it is a beautiful story, both heartbreaking and inspiring and i am now thinking about the world and my place in it much differently.

i have remained deeply in love with etsy, especially the idea of selling my own wares there. more to come on that front. soon, i hope.

i've been cooking more recently, and hope to finally start writing some recipes. i've been stuffing whole fish and being creative with veggies and desserts.

i need to take more photos. i've been lagging not only here, but in almost every creative output i had previously taken part in. i need more motivation.

i'm mildly obsessed with three things as of late:

1. feist. i can't stop singing to myself and smiling.

2. chewing on the inside of my cheek. it's a habit i've had since i was a child, and it's flared up drastically lately. i don't know if it's nerves, boredom, anxiety, or what.

3. pimento cheese. i made some for tea sandwiches for a baby shower (yes, tea sandwiches), and i've single handedly eaten nearly all of the leftovers. last night i had a melted pimento cheese sandwich with giardiniera. oh my god. this is why i can't lose weight.

my best friend has let her bridesmaids (me, her sister, and her sister-in-law who is also named emily) (go team emily!) pick our own bridesmaid dresses. after changing her color scheme from lilac and sage to bellflower blue and black, we picked THE DRESS. i'm actually going to look really good standing up in this wedding, which is a first. my best friend is amazing. she is being so laid back and wonderful about this wedding planning business, which is good because i'm stressing out about what to do for her bachelorette party.

we've been talking about getting tattoos for each other for some time, and i think i might surprise her with mine when i go down for the wedding. i'd wanted us to go together, but we dont' get to see her often and i can't ask her to get a tattoo two days before her wedding. i wanted a four leaf clover on the inside of my left wrist. i'm hedging a bit on the location, but i'm anxious to get it done. it's been a long time since my last tattoo and i'm antsy for more.

it's funny, the one tuesday night i actually remember to check tinyshowcase, this amazing print (probably my favorite tiny showcase ever) is introduced and i get to buy it before it sells out. i can't wait to get it framed and hung in what is turning out to be our small print gallery hallway. (next to this, this, and a lovely christopher silas neal print that doesn't seem to be on his site anymore.)

so one of my girlfriends had her baby a little early, and welcomed Ava Virginia into the world last saturday (07.07.07)! she is beautiful and makes me want to run out and get pregnant right away so i can have a little chubby cheeked baby of my very own. except maybe in a few years....i'm getting tons of experience and first hand accounts from all of the new moms and mom-to-bes in my little circle of friends, including another one who just gave me the news that she's expecting, too! so many pregnancies! i'm past the shock and denial, and am instead now basking in the warmth of motherhood surrounding me. i get to meet little Ava in less than two weeks when hubb and i travel home for my grandmother's 80th birthday, and i absolutely can't wait. hee! babies!

i've been getting sciatica in my left hip off and on for two years or so, and now my right knee is aching for no apparent reason. i feel like an old woman, hobbling on and off the bus every day, getting annoyed because nobody offers me a seat. i daydream about getting a vespa and tootling around town effortlessly.

i'm loving the warm weather right now, even the really HOT weather....which is so unlike me. i've been scooping up new summer dresses left and right, and have finally hit a groove with my wardrobe, i think. i've also found the most amazing line of strapless bras EVER, which is like the holy grail of undergarments if you're a, um, curvy woman such as myself. i literally teared up when i tried the first one on, and wore strapless clothing for a week straight just because i could.

last month i hit my two year anniversary at work, which is a milestone for me as i've never had a job last more than two years. i'm a little nervous, as things are moving rapidly behind the scenes as we prepare for an office move in late august. i've never been part of moving a 30 person company, i'm a little anxious about the whole thing, and am wondering what the implications for our office dynamic will be in a new space. it will be an interesting fall, relearning basic processes and routines.

i have a night off tonight, and hope to tackle some artwork and maybe start on a teddy bear for little Ava. i have a slew of canvases and prints ready to collage with, and it's time i got down to business making my own pieces of art for my home.

i've been cooking a lot more recently, thanks to my angelic organics share, discovery of a few new ethnic recipes and a little bit more time at home. in four days hubb and i ate homemade asian, indian, mexican and almost some italian. (we got busy that last night) i wish we'd followed through. oh well.

i started working on some projects at home, paintings, sewings, recipe following...i'm long overdue for a post about food. hubb and i are going to try to eat in more and out less this summer to save some moolah...which is a bummer when i just want to sit outside and sip a cocktail. i miss my roofdeck. i have a pain in my heart.

speaking of pains in my heart, i wish i could go back in time and NOT watch "deer hunter" on sunday night, the same day i missed my little brother's phone call from bootcamp. it tore me up and wore me out and traumatized me for sure. i'm now on a strict stupid comedy regimen on netflix for a few weeks, with just a little bit of six feet under for good measure. speaking of comedy, if you haven't seen "knocked up" yet? i didn't expect to, but i totally loved it. it could have used a few less ball jokes, but gynechiatrist is my new favorite word. that would be great, actually. a sex health and therapy provider all in one? to deliver your babies AND monitor your mental health? sounds perfect to me.

i'm debating whether to go to critical mass or go home and take a nap today. it's been one of those weeks where i can't get up in the mornings...eh.

or i could go home and start that italian dinner we never had last weekend....

i wish i had more guts. more taste for adventure. bigger balls. and the time to use them. i also wish i could always remember the difference between affect and effect. and i wish my favorite pants didn't stretch out after wearing them for a day. and that i could use self control and not buy cheap sundresses at my neighborhood cheap clothing store that i only wear once, if at all. i also wish that i had more time for projects. specifically these:

1. fashioning a craft cart cover out of a piece of wood for the top and nifty woodgrain fabric for the sides.
2. taking more photos.
3. making more audubon bird collage paintings. (like the green one in my guest bathroom if you've ever seen it.)
4. making jewelry again.
5. sewing some more teddy bears for all of my pregnant friends.

i wish my feet hadn't given up on high heel shoes. i wish i didn't feel the need to wear high heel shoes to be taller. i wish the weather would even out so i could ride my bike to work without the fear of being either caught in the rain or arriving to work sweaty and sporting helmet-hair. i wish my hair always looked good, even after riding my bike wearing a helmet. i wish i wrote here more. i wish i didn't have so many things to wish about.

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news: two of the 8 pregnant women i know have given birth. congrats, ladies! one is due this month, two are due next month, one in august, one in september (which is really two because it's twins) and one in november. phew. that's a lot of pushing.

my very best friend in the entire world is getting married again later this summer. i am all kinds of warm and fuzzy about it. and i may get the opportunity to visit turkey next summer for the formal turkish ceremony. how incredible is that?

i wish it were summer '08 already.

ok. so. i'm having trouble getting back on track, obviously. but, i'm doing well. ignoring a lot of things, but doing well.

i have been doing a few things:

i got a new bicycle, a blue schwinn sprint. i also got bubblegum pink handlebar tape. i love my new bicycle, and i'm going to join critical mass for the first time ever tomorrow. i can't wait.

i also got a wonderful new messenger bag. and "skinny" jeans. i will be stylin fo sho.

i sent my brother off to boot camp and cried and cried and talked to his girlfriend for 5 hours while i drove his pickup truck up to my dad's house. i love her.

i caressed my girlfriend's pregnant belly for two days straight and decided that yes, i do in fact want to have kids someday. just not now. and that's ok.

i discovered that my bff is getting married, again. i am so thrilled and i can't wait to meet her fiance and go to the wedding later this summer/next fall. she called me to ask me what dates i couldn't make it before she sets a date. so sweet. i am a little shocked, and a little worried, but incredibly thrilled. she rushes into things sometimes, but she deserves to be happy more than anyone i know.

i've been absent recently. from here, flickr, my craft cart, my friends....i've been keeping busy, distracting myself, spending time with people....but i'm letting a lot of things go. i've been sunk to a low point and it's time to get up and back on track.

this weekend will be a good start. i'm off to virginia to attend a friend's baby shower, then down to blacksburg to see my brother off to boot camp. family time, friend time, virginia time. mountains. the drillfield at vt. my mom.

lindsay is having a baby. her life is going to change forever. i am still in shock about it all, but at the same time not at all surprised that she's first. she'll be having a little baby girl in july and i am absolutely thrilled. seeing lin will actually be a bit of closure for me, the start of a different life for my friend, a change in the dynamic of our friendship. she'll be a mother and i won't. but that's totally ok. it's more than ok, actually. it's wonderful.

then there is my brother. he is going to boot camp for 3 months. his life won't ever be the same either. i am so intensely proud of him for so many reasons, the most recent of which has been his maturity in handling the recent events at his school. he took a road trip with his girlfriend and another couple last week which landed them at our house for a night. i think it may have been the most fun i've ever had with my brother. i am looking forward, if not with a little tinge of worried anticipation, to seeing him in the fall after his intense training.

in addition to attending these two life changing events, i get to actually spend mother's day with my mother, which will be so fantastic. we'll spend the night together at a bed and breakfast in blacksburg and visit the virginia tech campus. and then drive back up to northern virginia to see my grandma before i come back to chicago. i'm so so ready for a little family time.

hopefully this break from work, from chicago, from our busy life, will help to get me back on track. i'm ready to come back up from this low i've been at for a few weeks. i know that i show it, though i've been trying really hard not to. in some areas at least. the healing has begun, and that's all that matters.

i think i have forgotten how to write. or else i need another cup of coffee.

- so i sort of accidentally gave up on my 365 days project...i haven't taken a photo at all this week. i made it to day 101, only missing 4 photos in the process. that's roughly 96%, so i still get an A for effort, yeah? maybe i'll pick back up...

- i bought a pilates dvd with a little weighted ball, immediately bruised my spine, and so now it sits on my entertainment center while i sit on my sofa.

- i was doing really good with my diet and self control, then i ate like a pig to celebrate while on vacation for a weekend, then ate like a pig for comfort for a week despite a lack of appetite. now i'm having trouble getting back on track.

+ i got new shoes for spring. they're sandal-y and cute and comfy. now it's 50 degrees and rainy. this weekend is looking up, though.

+ i finally got a new bookcase for my living room, which was one of the final pieces of furniture we needed in order to prepare for our apartment therapy photo shoot. yes, we will be welcoming you into our home via the internet in about a month.

+ it is lunchtime. sloppy joes. mmm...

i can't begin to understand the grief and sadness many students, faculty, parents and families are feeling right now. i only know my own pain, the pain of former virginia tech student, the anxiety of the sister of a current student, the anger of a born and raised virginian. luckily my loved ones are safe and unharmed, which i am incredibly thankful for.

it could have all been different: my little brother was sitting in a class on monday morning, a class that the shooter, seung-hui cho, was also enrolled in. what if the shooter had gone to HIS OWN classroom instead of the classrooms in another building? what if he had started his rampage in the english class he shared with my brother? i cry each time i think about it. it is absolutely unfathomable, i can't begin to imagine the pain and grief i would be feeling, that others are currently being forced to go through. the confusion and disbelief, the anger and intense debilitating sadness. every bit of my heart goes out to those families and friends. i wish i could help ease their pain, if only just a little bit.

i am in pain that tragic and senseless acts like this happen in the first place, and that they happened so close to my home and my heart. i am sad that my alma mater has been forever stained, that families are hurting in ways i can't begin to relate to. i am angry at gun laws that make no sense, at the ability of one deranged mind to commit horrific acts of violence.

but i am also proud. proud of my alma mater, proud of my brother's courage and ability to cope, proud of the support and spirit that has swept the country and even the world. proud that i am and always will be a hokie.

ok, so i'm behind. on a lot of things. i'm getting all caught up in my friends and family and work and play and just general basic life comings and goings, and i'm neglecting to put it all down. or even some of it down. it's all getting lost and forgotten, except for what i manage to capture with my camera. which isn't a whole hell of a lot, as you can see by my flickr stream. i have done a few wonderful things recently...discovered ANOTHER pregnant friend (i know, it's scary) and actually came to terms with it, attended a petting zoo birthday party for grown ups (i know, it's very very cool), cooked some really damned good stuff (including key lime curd, and a lamb roulade), finally ate at hot doug's (i know, it was delish), did our taxes (eep! but three cheers for the tax guy, yeah? i feel better about owing when it's $1k less than what i got when i did it myself), and lost 5 pounds (i know, it's awesome).

thursday is hubb's and my four year anniversary (i know, it's gone by so fast), and we're taking time off. from work, from friends, from bills and obligations. i won't disclose what we're doing, but unfortunately it won't be far from chicago, as i still don't have a valid passport. but it will be wonderful and relaxing and hopefully i'll come back refreshed and ready for more business.

i have a slew of photos of food, with recipes, that i swear i'll post soon. i also promise to be less of a stranger and more substantial when it comes to posting. in the meantime, i wish you a happy spring.

schwa. 3.15.07 (you can see the very grainy and dark photos here. i'm missing shots of the sorbet and craig's dessert.)

after trying for 4 different occasions and not getting a reservation, craig and i finally just took what we could get at schwa, which we decided would be our 4 year wedding anniversary celebration dinner, just a month early. i can honestly say without a doubt that this was the most amazing dining experience i have ever had.

each course surprised and delighted me, and although there were one or two parts of the dishes that i wouldn't call my favorite, i didn't NOT like a single one. each course inspired me to experiment with the same unlikely pairing of ingredients at home, starting with the amuse:

1. amuse - beet truffle with chocolate and bacon, beet puree with white chocolate creme and powdered bacon fat

a great start to the meal. the truffle was incredibly beet-y, with a surprising gelatin-like texture and a creamy center with pure bacon essence. we were instructed to take the puree as a shot, which i did with enthusiasm anticipating the powdered bacon fat, but i didn't really taste it, but the puree was a fantastic flavor combination with the white chocolate.

2. oysters - steel cut oats with raisins, cinnamon and fried oysters, raw oyster shooter with almond milk

i was hesitant about the shooter at first, but it was actually very good. very fishy, but the fishiness paired with the sweet almond milk was great. the oats were fantastic, paired with the plump raisins and perfectly fried oysters, still wonderfully soft and creamy with a thin crunchy shell.

3. chestnut - chestnut purree with serrano ham, persimmon puree

it just kept getting better! craig described the puree as "fall in a cup". it was just that, wonderfully earthy, salty with a touch of sweetness, the serrano ham cubes added the touch of savory that sent it over the top. on the side were a persimmon puree and serrano ham both sliced thinly and cubed.

4. quail egg ravioli - ravioli with quail egg and ricotta, in brown butter with parmigiano reggiano

my favorite course. i was expecting to be thrown off by the raw egg center, but instead was blown away by the perfection of this dish. the ravioli was cooked perfectly al dente, the center warm and creamy, with the perfect egg yolk flavor. the brown butter sauce was intense and added a warm and delicate ending that made me sigh.

5. arctic char caviar - celery root and quince puree with smoked arctic char caviar, bruleed top and pink peppercorn

a very interesting dish, you break through the brulee to find smoked arctic char caviar atop pureed celery root and quince. this was a step down from the ravioli, but i thoroughly enjoyed eating this course.

6. lobster - butter poached lobster with brussel sprout leaves, parsnip puree, mushroom foam and black truffle shavings

easily just behind the ravioli in my favorites list, although the lobster was just a tad overcooked. craig said that two of his three pieces were perfect, but all three of mine were just a tad chewy. i quickly let that slide, though, because the mushroom foam, paired with the brussel sprout leaves and truffles made my mouth so happy i couldn't talk. it was a challenge not to lick the dish when we were finished.

7. rabbit- rabbit confit with pomegranate arils and puree, turnip puree and queso de valdeon

i found this dish rather unmemorable. it was delicious, don't get me wrong, but between the lobster and the beef it sort of got lost in my culinary memory. the turnip puree was a great flavor addition to the sweet/tart pomegranate puree and melt-in-your-mouth rabbit, but it was hard to get onto my fork as it was thinly spread about the undulating rim of the dish.

8. beef - trio of beef - tartare with quail egg, pickled tongue, braised short ribs with sweet potato puree

great presentation, the tartare was atop a plastic ice cube with the quail egg delicately balanced on top. it was the perfect temperature, very simple, not overseasoned, just the essence of beef and egg. the tongue was so tender, not too pickly, absolutely delicious. but the best was saved for last with the beef short rib. so tender it just fell apart when i touched it with my fork, and paired with the sweet potato puree it was just like heaven. we definitely lingered on this part of the dish for as long as we could. it was at this point during the meal that we both vocalized that we wished the meal would never end.

9. cheese - morbier cheese risotto with summer puree

wow, this was amazing. my #3 of the night. a little spoon with a bite of morbier cheese risotto, so strong and pungent with a tiny taste of an intense green summer puree to bring the taste buds back down. more than a taste would have been too much to handle, but still that one taste left me wanting more.

10. sorbet - rose water sorbet with raspberry puree

served atop another plastic ice cube, the sorbet was balanced in a little crater of the raspberry puree. it was so fresh and delicate, with the intense flavor of rose, it revived a flood of emotion in me, reminding me of my childhood. i couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was, but i shed a tiny tear as my feelings ran wild. i've never had a reaction to food like this, and it was a good thing, again, that it was only a taste or else it would have been too overwhelming.

11. dessert -me- chocolate brownies with some sort of ice cream, one of which was coated in finely crushed nuts (i'd had a lot of wine) -craig- pretzel crusted dates stuffed with caramel and mustard seed, anchor steam foam, pretzel sticks, tumeric ice cream

at this point we were offered some dessert wine that the table next to us had left behind, and we gleefully accepted. then the desserts came out. craig had the dates and i had chocolate brownies. craig's dish was a great flavor combo with the cooling creamy ice cream, salty pretzel, sweet dates and tangy mustard, but i felt that it was a bit too much for me. (though i've been salivating over the memory of the flavors ever since) at the time i very much preferred my chocolate brownies with ice cream, although unfortunately i don't remember the details. two+ bottles of wine will do that.