Feb 17, 2004

My lunch ended quite unexpectedly today. In an effort to find some mindless reading and pictures I grabbed the nearest magazine on the rack in the staff lounge. I had never opened an Adbusters before, and it looked interesting. I finished my broccoli and half of my yogurt and strawberries reading about a man who discovered his dead mother's body in her apartment. I took a deep breath, finished my yogurt, turned a few pages page and saw a photo of two African children playing with pieces of a dismembered body of another child. A bloody hand lay nearby, next to an arm complete to the shoulder where it abruptly ended in grisly strings of flesh. A burned and bloody torso could be seen to the right behind one of the crouching children, and two mangled legs appeared to the left, which I assume were still attached. There was no head. I quickly slapped the magazine shut, placing it face down on the table so I could concentrate on keeping my recently eaten food in my stomach. I glanced down to see the back cover presenting a photo of a blackened charred corpse with white glistening teeth smiling up at me. Needless to say broccoli, strawberries and yogurt are not so delicious the second time around.

Maybe I'm just sensitive, maybe I'm weak and vulnerable to these harrowing images. I understand that these things happen in the world, but I have no desire to look at them, especially with a mouthful of thick red yogurt with huge chunks of softened strawberries.

I'm crying and shaking and nauseous and I want to go home and throw up some more.

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