Nov 25, 2003

Yeah, so I'm not as Susie Homemaker as I want to be. I mutilated my old Homecoming dress last night trying to turn it into the perfect quintessential holiday shirt. Now I have beautiful merlot colored scraps of satin. I might have enough to make a small camisole of some sort, but now I'm scared to touch the sewing machine again.

So on goes my never ending search for a versatile holiday top that I can recycle for three consecutive cocktail parties this year. I have wraps and pins to disguise it, to alter it the tiniest bit for each event, I just need the top! Damn shopping. I have been on this quest for weeks, but to no avail. I have less than two weeks (with Turkey Day and my trip to VA right in the middle) to find this perfect (hear angelic singing in the background) shirt. Not that this is really that important.....there are starving kids in Afghanistan and Africa who need food more than I need new clothes. But it's just the thought of finally finding this elusive item that is keeping me going.

craving of the day: unagi maki

Nov 24, 2003

tip of the day: this Thanksgiving don't eat pink translucent turkey.

pet peeve of the day: people who use an apostrophe S ('s) to signify pluralization rather than ownership.
wrong: our dog's do tricks.
right: our dogs do tricks.
wrong: my dogs water bowl.
right: my dog's water bowl.

highlight of the weekend: a tie between the talented elephants at the circus and finding both the perfect pair of jeans and boots.

Nov 21, 2003

i'm going to learn how to knit. and i'm going to make those trendy little knitted flower pins. i'm becoming more and more domestic as the days roll on. i need to find ways to distract myself from my failing attempts at finding a new job. i do this by cooking, shopping, and now crafting. we'll see how it works. i promise not to knit toilet plunger covers or clothes for those ceramic ducks that people put in their yards.

i am registering for a psychology class at NU that starts in february. i'm going to re-read my intro to psych textbook to prepare. i am pretty excited about this. wish me luck.

i still haven't received a phone call regarding my dozen or so applications i sent out, but i have a few good outfits picked out for interviews.

Nov 20, 2003

nobody reads this except my ever loving husband. but just in case somebody else ever does.........i'm here.

if i ever have something important to write about, i have a quality (and fashionable) space to do it.
"People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say."


Nov 18, 2003

i keep expecting things to change. i keep expecting something BIG to happen. and i still wake up every morning and come to work and do nothing. i got a new cabinet in my office yesterday. i spent the rest of the day putting things inside of it. i'm spending today admiring it and reorganizing the things i filled it with yesterday. this is a totally legitimate use of my paid time and in many ways greatly benefits my department, i'm sure of it.

career path of the day: art therapist

Nov 17, 2003

there is an eerie rolling fog outside my office window today. it is extremely unsettling, and it reminds me of a terrible nightmare i had the other night about death and war. in the middle of the night things always seem more real and more intense, and when i woke up from my dream scared that i was going to die, i couldn't go back to sleep. in my dream i was ready to kill myself rather than die from outside causes (war) but when i woke up all i could think about was how i wasn't ready to die and was scared to death (no pun intended) about death.

i've been trying to think about what that meant, and what i am supposed to be learning from that dream. maybe i'm supposed to be appreciating life more. appreciating my friends, family, good fortune, etc. maybe it's a sign that i'm not on the right path in life. if you are scared of death, scared of everything ending, scared of no more chances, does that mean that you haven't accomplished everything that you were meant to? when i've experienced all the little things and made all of the impressions i want to, will i then be calm and collected when i wake in the middle of the night thinking about dying?

or maybe it was just a nightmare caused by eating too much hot sauce and drinking too much vodka that night. i also had a dream once that i gave birth to a cat. ??

Nov 14, 2003

"Thank you for interviewing for the position, but I regret to inform you that you are too good for us, and we have filled the position with someone less qualified than yourself, though more qualified to fill our demanding poor-paying position, who will fortunately be oblivious to the fact that they're being short changed and overworked, and won't have the intelligence or motivation to leave us as soon as something better pops along. Please accept our best wishes for luck and prosperity in all of your future endeavors."

"P.S. - We were very impressed by your word-of-the-day knowledge and were flummoxed by the idea that such an intelligent and overachieving person such as yourself would be lowering their standards to interview for such a shit job."
i've recently discovered that i am a creature of habit. i'm lying, i always knew this, but i just recently found myself able to admit it out loud. i get into a routine of online shopping, depending on daily naps, eating too much, eating chocolate, etc, and i just can't stop. then i get really thrown off when i can't follow that routine. i have recently really upset myself by leaving my credit card at home, bringing a lunch consisting of v-8 and an orange with not a single sweet thing in sight, and letting my lunch hour slip away without taking my daily 15 minute nap.

so i went shopping last night, and today i give myself plenty of time for my nap at lunch, bring a york peppermint patty to satiate my sweet rotting teeth, and a nice well rounded lunch. after all of this careful planning i am appalled at some new library employee sitting in my...MY...lunch seat. everything is thrown off and i am lost. so i become engrossed in my book and find myself occasionally glaring at this girl and eventually wind up admiring her tupperware with a convenient little compartment in the lid for a fork. how cute is that?! i must get myself one. shit. 1:15. lunch over. no nap and a crushed peppermint patty in my purse.

so here i am with a newfound tupperware admiration and sleep-deprived candy cravings. at least i ate so much at lunch that i am now bloated and groggy. i need some stimulation.

Nov 13, 2003

no. of jobs i've applied to: 11
no. of calls i've received: 1

you know, the job market is really tough right now. and it took me months to get to this point, to have enough gumption (ding ding ding: word-of-the-day usage!) to even decide that i needed to start looking, so I should be patient. maybe the fact that i subscribe to a word-of-the-day e-mail will intice possible employers to hire me. i'm banking on the fact that it will. i'm goint to start using words like salubrious and abstemious in my cover letters.
i've got my shoppin' shoes on and i'm ready to roll. if only 5:00 would hurry the hell up.

loehmann's, with their famous communal dressing rooms, is home to an endless array of great deals. my mission: black dress pants for upcoming holiday parties, a cool belt, and anything else that strikes my fancy. i am coveting a pair of "perfect" jeans, but i am slowly losing faith in the fashion industry to suit my figure. unfortunately for me, the average pair of jeans is not made for a 125 lb 5 foot tall gal with lovehandles. the search continues.

as much as i love loehmann's (and similarly daffy's back home,) i am continually struck by the oddity of the communal dressing room. these high scale bargain outlets demand that you strip in a mirror-lined room under harsh fluorescent light in front of countless frantic shoppers trying not to reveal too much, or adversely standing buck naked staring at a dress on a hanger. why?? i just don't get it. these stores pass themselves off as "clothing bargains for millionaires", so you'd think they'd at least let their classy customers try on their marked down DKNY pantsuit in privacy. maybe it is for security so the $60 tee shirts don't get stolen. or so people will be deferred from trying on the panties against their naked bums. or maybe they assume that anyone desiring expensive brand name labels is beautiful and nobody will mind watching them get undressed. but i can tell you, everybody is most definitely NOT beautiful. when overweight russian grandmas are bending over in front of me showing off the seams of their girdles, i want to rush through my trying-on process at 100 miles per hour and get out. not to mention the women wearing inappropriate underwear. competing for mirror space with sweaty chubby women wearing undersized thongs is not conducive to a casual contemplation of the sweater i'm trying on. but maybe that's the point. make everyone get nekkid in front of each other, so they speed through the dressing process and make rushed decisions on their items, buying more than they would if they had the time and privacy to stand in front of ther very own mirror bending every which way, scrutinizing every inch of the article of clothing they're wearing.

i think i'll run home before my shopping spree and change into bigger underwear.

Nov 12, 2003


Octopus can't hide his desire: Field researcher 1st to document invertebrate erection

By John Biemer, Tribune staff reporter, Published November 12, 2003

As the Field Museum's Dr. Janet Voight watched a male octopus get rebuffed in his attempt to mate with a female, she noticed something striking: One of the sea creature's eight arms was longer than usual.

This was noteworthy because the two-spot octopus uses the tip of one tentacle to pass spermatophores, or tubular packets filled with millions of sperm, to females during mating. Later study concluded that the arm was engorged because it contains erectile tissue--the first documentation, scientists say, of an invertebrate erection.

The discovery seems to demonstrate an evolutionary quirk that unites man and mollusk, said co-researcher Dr. Joseph Thompson, a biology professor at St. Joseph's University in Philadelphia.

"Here's an example of two very different organisms, mammals and octopuses, that do not share a recent common ancestry, but both have settled on a similar solution to a common problem," said Thompson, who specializes in morphology and physiology.

Though research on the subject is still in its beginning stages, understanding how that erectile tissue works on an animal so different from mammals has an outside chance of helping to reveal a potent chemical for control of blood pressure, or a new Viagra, Voight said. The study appears in a recent issue of the Journal of Zoology .

However, unlike in mammals, the two-spot's tissue is not continuous with the reproductive tract, because for octopuses it's located at the end of its modified tentacle. Still, the tissue in the ligula, the organ at the tip of the octopus' mating arm, has similarities with that on a mammalian penis.

Erectile tissue is defined by its ability to inflate. Penises and the two-spot octopus' ligula both have abundant blood vessels, large internal cavities divided by networks of collagen fibers that provide the support to constrain the distended organ so that it elongates rather than simply growing larger.

However, humans and octopuses have different means of controlling blood flow to the tissues, said Voight, an octopus specialist, and the octopuses may have a distinct blood pressure control chemical.

"Because octopuses are so very distantly related to humans and this character has arisen separately, there could be a radically different mechanism controlling it," she wrote in an e-mail Tuesday from a research vessel from the Pacific Rim, off the coast of Mexico.

"It might be a long shot," Voight concedes, but studying such mechanisms could potentially lead to a new medicine to combat erectile dysfunction in humans.

Dr. Greg Bales, a urologist at the University of Chicago Hospital, called the phenomenon "intriguing" and worthy of further exploration. "Perhaps there could be a translation into a human model," he said. "How plausible that is, I think it's difficult to say."

The erectile tissue is not common to all octopuses, Thompson said, but appears to have been developed as a survival trait among some species. The ligula is bright white and does not have the color-changing cells that allow two-spots to blend in with any background. Because the species hunts during the day, the white ligula could attract predators, so the ability to contract it may reduce the risk.

Scientists say octopus mating habits are difficult to observe, so many aspects are still clouded in mystery. In some cases, females will prey on males. In the case of the frisky male in the Texas tank, the "female was literally fighting him off and in the end, he bit and envenomed her," Voight wrote. "I won't go into the details, but I separated the two at that point."
things i am thankful for:

my husband (he rules)
a handfull of really good friends
my kids (my cats)
being employed
lake michigan
pumpkin soup
my slow growing toenail

Not thankful for my damned aching tooth. damn that tooth and the $300 it will cost to fix it. damn damn damn.

Nov 11, 2003

is pink still the new black? i can't decide.
does anyone know how i can stretch my pants out? too-short jeans look really stupid on short people.

Nov 10, 2003

how fun. comments (0). i think it's time for a color change to represent my current state of limbo. maybe yellow. if only i spent as much time enhancing my employable skills as i do figuring out random useless things like this, i'd be golden.

i can't decide if i am really ready for this whole new job thing. i keep getting attached to dream jobs that i've blown up from listings i've seen. i've applied for these dream positions, and am waiting to see what comes of them. an ability to wait is definitely not my best quality. i am perhaps the most impatient person i know.

craig and i went to the graveyard behind our house yesterday, and i think i caught a cold. i can't wait to get our pictures developed. the goal was to take photos of select statues for a triptych to go in our apartment. that might seem morbid to some, but i think it will be beautiful. the detailing on some of those just don't see that anymore. the same goes for just about anything. modern consumerism is based on the swifty and thrifty. quality detailing just isn't the norm anymore. this is why i am drawn to old things. i'm an antiquophile. (i'm not sure that's a real word, but i couldn't find a substitute.)

Nov 5, 2003

Everything is bass ackwards today. I can't decide what is going on. Either the weather has everyone acting crazy or it is just my habit of overanalyzing situations again. It was nearly 80 degrees yesterday and is 40 today. I don't get it. And I don't get how I have a college degree but can't find a job I am qualified for. I want to give up. I'm destined to make peanuts for the rest of my life. I'm not good at anything and I have a terrible work ethic.

Poor pitiful me.

Nov 3, 2003

nevermind. it's sold out.

this is the second time in a week that i have waited too long to buy something and it's sold out. :(
someone should buy this for me
it was a long weekend, but a good one. my parents were visiting and we had a good time. we ate almost constantly, and my pants are tight this monday morning, but it was fun dammit.

my interview went well, very VERY well, but once again, i'm not going to take it. they want to pay me 25% less to do 100% more work than i am required to do in my current position. eh, no thank you.