I have been reviewed and I have survived. (deleted)

2005 is turning out to be the year of challenges. Financial, work-related, and now relationship challenges. Hubb and I, for the very first time, will be taking separate trips to far away places this spring. He is going to Milan the DAY AFTER OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY for work, which sucks hugely considering he'll also be out of town the two weekends before our wedding anniversary as well, and I CAN'T GO WITH HIM. I'm a little disappointed and annoyed and jealous, and all sorts of other emotions, which is silly but it's how I'm feeling right now so shut up. So, instead of Milan I will be going to Hawaii to celebrate my wedding anniversary. By myself. Without my husband. It's not Europe, but it's warm and my best friend in the whole wide world is there. With rum based beverages. I shouldn't be so sensitive about this, because he will be in Chicago on our actual anniversary, but as he will be leaving the very next day for a week in an incredibly fashion sensitive city, I imagine an anniversary doing laundry and packing and trips to the grocery store for toothpaste to prepare for his departure. Fun.

Somebody slap me.

So anyway...I've been doing my job incredibly well, which I am discovering once a week when results from my work are coming back. It's an amazing feeling to know that I jumped into this job with no idea what I was doing, and I figured it all out by myself and have done my very best and then some, and people's lives are going to be great because of it. I'm being incredibly vague, I know, but people's futures depend on the work I do, and things are going very well and people are happy and appreciate what I'm doing. It feels good and makes me want to cry with joy.

Last night I left work a little late and ended up standing during my bus/train rides rather than sitting and reading my current book. When I got off the train I walked into a gorgeous huge snowflake shower, and smiled through freezing clenched teeth as I made my way home. There was something meditative and uplifting about the whole experience that I can't quite put into words. And then I got home to a package from a friend of mine that I haven't spoken to in more than a year. It was a two-year late thank you gift for letting her stay with us for a couple of days back in 2003. I won't go into too much detail, but getting a handmade gift from an incredibly talented old friend made me even more euphoric. It quickly faded as I fell into the usual night-time dinner making laundry doing yoga mat bed-time routine, which was unfortunate.

I went to lunch today with four women from a combination of three offices. It was fun and girly and silly and a nice change of pace for me. It's been a while since I could be giddy and giggly and talk about sex and decorating and shopping and milkshakes openly with other females. Now I'm back at my desk, sleepy from overeating, cold, anxious and irritated for no reason. Why oh why do I have to be so hormonal?