Sep 22, 2005

I'm planning on sleeping VERY well this weekend, to make up for lost beauty rest over the last couple of weeks of my suddenly busy and anxiety-prone life. Suddenly...that's a lie, really. It's pretty much always been this way. I just refuse to believe it.

I sort of miss being in college; I miss my girlfriends, the naps in the middle of the day, the complete lack of "plans" except to spend time with the boy. Lounging and carefree and $210 a month rent and pizza at 2am with no worries of weight gain. sigh.

All summer long I've been in denial, wearing pants and sweaters to work, refusing to acknowledge that it is hot out. Now that it is almost October (can you believe it?!) I'm having trouble thinking about putting away the flipflops and packing up the swimsuits for another 9 months. Not that I swam at all this summer, but still...waking up in the dark is always the "wrong side of the bed" for me.

My feet are blistered and angry with me for wearing shoes today. I wear flip flops from the first signs of spring to the first signs of autumn, and today decided to try the confined footwear thing to get back into the swing of things. My feet need pampering in order to go through the seasons.

I am finally accepting the fact that life is full of drama. Period. Something is always happening to someone....babies are born, grandparents pass, people get new jobs and get married and there will always be a new pair of shoes to buy and a new restaurant to try. I tend to get stuck in this ridiculous idea that I have a calm group of family and friends, that I'm getting to a point in my life where things will remain the same, safe, normal. There is no such thing. And I am full of lies and hypocrisy.

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