be forewarned...Longest Post Ever.

wow. i had a great wednesday. i got a terrific pair of shoes ON SALE at an EVEN GREATER DISCOUNT than marked because i haggled endlessly with the sales lady. (read: i said "there's an itty bitty speck of dirt right here on this shoe." she said "i'll give you an extra 20% off." i said "sold.") i love them and they are perfect and i will wear them and treasure them always. until it snows.

then i went to the k-mart to see the "Huge Makeover", which looked pretty much like the old k-mart, just with shorter shelving units. but i found the most adorable tea towels that will be a perfect christening to my brand new kitchen in the condo that we should be moving into IN LESS THAN A MONTH...which freaks me the hell out. but i'll have cute trendy fruity towels to have a nervous breakdown with after we move in. which will be comforting. and colorful. (look at the cute pears! and the scrumptious apples! oh my, and the oranges!) oh martha, you can sell me adorable housewares any day.

we are having sangria at work tomorrow to celebrate (i mean mourn) the end of summer (and our 3pm closing time on fridays), so i bought fruit and brandy and mixed all of that stuff up so it could sit overnight and ferment and absorb and become delicious. tomorrow is also a coworkers birthday, so i made him (dont' laugh) pigs in a blanket. (i couldn't help repeating under my breath the whole time "i've had it with these mother****ing pigs in these mother****ing blankets!") i realized that i don't think i have ever actually eaten a pig in a blanket, let alone made them, but i put together about 4 dozen of them last night. not like it's hard using two ingredients and all, as much as i like to cook. i love to spend time in the kitchen, hours at a time even, and i love love love complicated recipes, meals that require intense multitasking and hours or preparation. but i hate monotonous labor-intensive preparations for bite size food. why should i waste my precious time making pretty little things that you will devour in one bite? i find it maddening and i prefer to spend my time making apricot bourbon barbecue sauce or risotto or something that yields more than one mouthful. which is why i do not serve canapes or hors d'oeuvres (are they the same thing anyway?) at my parties. i have no patience for it. so anyway, i started to humor myself by naming my little piggies, then i dropped one on the floor and felt badly because i had just personified him by naming him boris.

i have to share my joy in finally finding a lipgloss to replace one i purchased probably in 1999 that was discontinued. it seems that all cosmetics that i fall in love with end up being discontinued, and this pink and gold shiny (NOT SPARKLY) gloss by revlon streetwear was the first to jump on that wagon and speed away from me. once i found out i could not purchase it at my local drugstore anymore i scoured the internet for backstock, only coming up with one lousy tube which has maybe two tiny thin applications left in but i continue to save it. i've purchased dozens of similar shades which have all proved to be no match for the perfect gloss. until now. ulta has, in their super shiny lip gloss line, a color called goddess (which is a perfect name, really) that is a perfect replacement. yay for ulta and yay for my steadfast searching for my perfect shade. now i need to buy a case or two, please. it will probably be discontinued by winter.

and finally, we're having a yardsale on saturday, so if you know me and you know where i live and you need some stuff that we don't need anymore, please stop by. we'll have coffee makers, dishes, tchotchkes, lamps, cookware, and lots of other crap too. for cheap. we also have a nice bamboo and glass dining room table with 4 chairs for sale for $200. i'll throw in a tchotchke or two for free. and a hug if you take if off my hands by the end of the weekend.

what's making me happy this week:

• blik Iron Vines on their way to me for my new bedroom. cocoa brown agains pale blue walls. i can't wait to decorate.
• this Amy Ruppel print aptly entitled "new home" because, as you can see, i have the upcoming move to the new condo on the brain. this print makes me smile. it makes me happy. i want it. alas, it is sold.
• a new necklace my friend Hillary of Sans Couture has made for me. i shall have it on friday and i can't wait.
• the new blue q line, hot and flashy. i purchased the pear lip balm and it is divine. and i simply adore the deco packaging.
• browsing through my great aunt's 1960 helen corbitt cookbook. she used it so much that the first 5 or 6 pages have fallen out and the spine is duct taped together. i can tell the recipes she loved from the amount of splatter on the pages. she also taped a recipe for brandied sweet potatoes to the inside front cover that i have to make at thanksgiving this year, it looks so delicious. the book is a fabulous read, and i plan to put a post together using recipes from the cookbook sometime soon.
• browsing through my great aunt's recipe box. i found her recipe for my great grandmother's pecan pie, and i am determined to become a master at it, even though i am really not a fan of pecan pie (unless a certain friend of mine made it and it is has bourbon and chocolate in it).
• i will be a homeowner in less than a month! woot!

my few days in austin: exhausting, overfed, inspiring, educational, depressing, hot. but it really us a dry heat. this was my first trip to the southwest. ever. i can't wait to go back, for a vacation rather than a family emergency. austin is huge and full of life and music and food, oh my god the food. i can never eat barbecue again unless it comes from texas. and i just may need to learn to like pecans.

my aunt ve had an interesting life. i learned more about her in three days than in an entire life of knowing her. like her name. it is leona vivian. i never knew that. it's too bad the name leona is forever tarnished in my mind from a rediculously large portioned local chain. it really is a beautiful name.

we found photos, albums, ancient memories from people i've never met. my great grandmother's pecan pie recipe, telegrams from my great uncle dale's days at war, cotton combs from days on the farm, my great grandmother's wedding ring. and probably a hundred pairs of scissors. we all feel secure by different means, i suppose. and photos of my father as a child. and my grandfather who i barely knew.

i hope ve is resting peacefully.

this photo was likely from the early 40's, when ve was around 20 years old.

ok, so the airport wasn't all that bad, until we had to come home and got delayed due to lightning and some stupid paris hilton wannabe cut in line and then tried to steal a cab from the rest of us patiently waiting in line at midway at 1 am. florida was hot and sticky and we ate too much and hugged too much and debated too much between different generations with different frames of mind and comfort levels and ideas of what is "right". and we went on the Diva Duck and while looking at d-list celebrity homes i received the phone call notifying me of my Aunt Ve's passing. it was a bizarre experience, learning such news while a tour guide on a bus in the intercoastal waterway danced to ricky martin and told us about how the guy who invented slim fast lived next door to cilene dion's mother. so i'm back to the airport (sans gels and liquids) tomorrow to go to austin to sort through thomas kinkade paintings and other precious belongings in my late Aunt Ve's condo. i think i'm through being upset and am mostly just sad and a little bit lost about the whole thing, not having seen my Aunt Ve in any state of distress over her condition as her health failed and her mind wandered. i remember her smiling and watching us play balderdash at our family reunion last october, before she found out she was going to die of cancer a month before her 81st birthday. we're not having a funeral, but a memorial next month, on the anniversary of her birth in 1925. we will celebrate her life, mourn our loss, then we'll spend the weekend together, as a family, one woman less and two babies more than last year.

short snippets, sort of in sync with my frame of mind right now:

1. i watched The Notebook last night. i'm still crying on the inside and my eyes are still puffy and sore from a solid hour and a half of bawling my eyes out. (but oh my god ryan gosling is dreamy.)

2. what is up with airport security, dude? just because somebody figured out a way to mix chemicals together to make something harmful (duh) and disguise them in everyday products doesn't mean that i should have to fly without my lipgloss. no toothpaste? no deodorant? no hand lotion? i might die on my trip to florida tomorrow with all of my gels and lotions and liquids stashed "safely" out of reach in my checked bag. my security blanket of just-in-case items won't be accessible, and i promise i will think about it from the time i leave for the airport until the time i pick up my suitcase (hopefully intact) from baggage claim in ft. lauderdale. i may need to drink heavily at the airport bar before i board my plane. it's a damned good thing i'm not taking more than a 2 hour flight anytime soon.

3. my great aunt ve is steadily and rapidly declining, and her doctor has given her less than two weeks to live. i am on call to fly to austin to help settle her estate and plan her memorial service, and it is tearing me apart. i'm not one for patience to begin with, and when you're playing the waiting game for the death of a loved one, it is heavy and emotional and terrible. it is hard to move forward with your life and take trips and host visitors knowing that any day you'll be mourning. so pardon me if i'm a little disconnected for the next few weeks. i'm trying to stay distracted.

4. i really really really don't like humidity.

5. i really really really wish it was october.

so i'm obsessed with Etsy lately. it's sort of like ebay for crafters, but without the worn shoes, cons, and shitty estate sale junk. i'm particularly enamored with these fine items:

on the left, cute cute precious metal clay pendants from SueQuigley. the leaf necklace is so hippie chic. in the middle, adorable silver metalgami by Hapa. man, i want the little catamaran so bad. on the right, intricate colorful pendants from Fiery Lion Designs. i will take one in each color, pretty please. these sort of remind me of my long time lust, Small Things. especially the original small necklace, both the deco poppy in jade green and the swallow in dark blue, please. thank you.

i've been lack with my jewelry making lately, but i am considering posting some items on Etsy. we'll see.