ok. so. i'm having trouble getting back on track, obviously. but, i'm doing well. ignoring a lot of things, but doing well.

i have been doing a few things:

i got a new bicycle, a blue schwinn sprint. i also got bubblegum pink handlebar tape. i love my new bicycle, and i'm going to join critical mass for the first time ever tomorrow. i can't wait.

i also got a wonderful new messenger bag. and "skinny" jeans. i will be stylin fo sho.

i sent my brother off to boot camp and cried and cried and talked to his girlfriend for 5 hours while i drove his pickup truck up to my dad's house. i love her.

i caressed my girlfriend's pregnant belly for two days straight and decided that yes, i do in fact want to have kids someday. just not now. and that's ok.

i discovered that my bff is getting married, again. i am so thrilled and i can't wait to meet her fiance and go to the wedding later this summer/next fall. she called me to ask me what dates i couldn't make it before she sets a date. so sweet. i am a little shocked, and a little worried, but incredibly thrilled. she rushes into things sometimes, but she deserves to be happy more than anyone i know.

i've been absent recently. from here, flickr, my craft cart, my friends....i've been keeping busy, distracting myself, spending time with people....but i'm letting a lot of things go. i've been sunk to a low point and it's time to get up and back on track.

this weekend will be a good start. i'm off to virginia to attend a friend's baby shower, then down to blacksburg to see my brother off to boot camp. family time, friend time, virginia time. mountains. the drillfield at vt. my mom.

lindsay is having a baby. her life is going to change forever. i am still in shock about it all, but at the same time not at all surprised that she's first. she'll be having a little baby girl in july and i am absolutely thrilled. seeing lin will actually be a bit of closure for me, the start of a different life for my friend, a change in the dynamic of our friendship. she'll be a mother and i won't. but that's totally ok. it's more than ok, actually. it's wonderful.

then there is my brother. he is going to boot camp for 3 months. his life won't ever be the same either. i am so intensely proud of him for so many reasons, the most recent of which has been his maturity in handling the recent events at his school. he took a road trip with his girlfriend and another couple last week which landed them at our house for a night. i think it may have been the most fun i've ever had with my brother. i am looking forward, if not with a little tinge of worried anticipation, to seeing him in the fall after his intense training.

in addition to attending these two life changing events, i get to actually spend mother's day with my mother, which will be so fantastic. we'll spend the night together at a bed and breakfast in blacksburg and visit the virginia tech campus. and then drive back up to northern virginia to see my grandma before i come back to chicago. i'm so so ready for a little family time.

hopefully this break from work, from chicago, from our busy life, will help to get me back on track. i'm ready to come back up from this low i've been at for a few weeks. i know that i show it, though i've been trying really hard not to. in some areas at least. the healing has begun, and that's all that matters.

i think i have forgotten how to write. or else i need another cup of coffee.