Jan 15, 2008

i’ve been on a sort of blah icky moody lately…not quite sure why or how it came about, but it’s here and i can’t seem to kick it. i don’t want to be around people during the day. i don’t want to go to work, or to meetings or even volunteer…i want to be at home. always. under a blanket, sipping tea (or a sidecar). i want to paint and cut and paste and learn to knit and cook complicated extended prep dinners every night. no more of this 9-5 business (or 8-6). i want to pet my cats and take naps and long walks at 11 am and use my camera a lot. and go to the grocery store when nobody else is there. and explore this city that i love so much. i want to be alone. i’ve been thinking of ways to make this happen and have come up with three options:

  1. quit my job, never buy anymore clothes, shoes, fancy toiletries, or interesting imported wine, beer, or spices ever again.
  2. move to rural michigan. become a dog walker.
  3. hope hubb someday gets paid twice as much as he does now, stay home and raise a baby.

seeing as these aren’t really options right now, it looks like i’m stuck with my current routine for a while longer. i’ll likely get out of this rut once winter starts to fade (which by the look of the weather forecast today isn’t going to happen anytime real soon). until then i’m trying to find ways to intermittently cheer myself up that don’t include drinking or eating too much. it’s hard. really really hard.

one of my cheer ups includes shopping, which really should be put on hold. i have also been going through a reorganizing kick, redoing my petite walk in closet, which has succeeded in cheering me up immensely. i got rid of three huge bags of incorrectly sized bras, out of style shoes, and ill fitting and a little too worn clothing, and in the process discovered some old favorites that have made their way back into my rotation. like the vintage inspired grey boat neck angora sweater i’m wearing today. (i would never buy angora now, but having purchased this sweater nearly 5 years ago makes it ok to continue to wear).

i've also been taking a break from cooking recently, being much much busier than i expected i would be this month. but i think i get to cook dinner either friday or sunday, which will mean comfort food galore. i’m antsy to roast a chicken and make some gravy and mashed potatoes. or braise something. or make some pasta. and marinara sauce from scratch. oh i wish i could just stay home the rest of the week and cook.

3 comments:

It's Not Easy Being Green said...

I am right there with you. I sit at work and think, "there are so many other things I could be doing right now."

Hillary said...

part of that is why i love school...your hours are so irregular that you can shop when no one's around, take walks when it's still daytime, etc.

anyway, i always feel like this. ALWAYS. it was made worse when i visited my cousin near christmas. he recently packed up and moved his family to michigan. they live on a beach house, on lake michigan, in a town called west olive. he works remotely for motorola. anyway, he and i took a walk along the lake with his dog and it was freezing and barren and gorgeous. it got me thinking about finding ways to slow-down life.

i've been reading more and trying to clean and write letters...

i also intend to organize my craft closet this weekend (well, START organizing my craft closet). maybe i'll find inspiration in it.

katie said...

yep, i've been there MANY times. it's hard finding time for so many interests when i do have to work full time. it seems like there's always something i wish i had more time for.