i am currently on spring break, which feels odd, like i should be woo-ing and drinking and sleeping late. or traveling. i'm doing half of those - i'm going to VA to see a large portion of my family and one of my friends this weekend. and i've been celebrating with friends quite a bit in the past week. tonight i'm looking forward to going home and relaxing. take a bubble bath. maybe start packing for my 4 day weekend trip to the east coast.

i'm in a lull, feeling slightly out of place and trying to figure out where i'm going. i can't really describe how i'm feeling right now, except that i'm slighly lost. i need to gain some clarity before i move forward on this new path of mine, establish some rules and deadlines and plans and redefine my dreams. they're a little fuzzy right now, for a number of reasons. i feel scrambled.

but everything is good. i'm having some exciting encounters, meeting some amazing people, overreacting to some crazy half baked ideas. i keep expecting something to fall in my lap, bite me on the ass, shine down on me from the heavens. it may have already done it, but i've been too caught up in everything else to notice.

if i could take a month sabbatical i would. in a heartbeat. how come month long sabbaticals aren't standard in american business? time off to redirect, regroup, reload. the past three months have been harder on me than i thought.

to change the subject, we are in the process of refinancing our mortgage, which feels oddly more permanent than buying our home in the first place. maybe it's the returning to zero on our 30 year mortgage, perhaps its the knowledge that we need to definitely stay another 3 years to make it worth it. but we are pretty sure our place has appreciated, which is a good thing right now.

i'm sleepy today. neighbors with habits of blaring tvs at 5 am are not my favorite people.