May 30, 2010

i just ate an entire half roll of necco wafers to get to the only chocolate one in the whole roll that was nestled safely in the center, because the chocolate ones are really the best ones, which is probably why they make this. why i didn't buy the chocolate roll is beyond me. i can't be trusted to make decisions lately. in the process of eating the original wafers i did throw a few of the liquorice ones on the ground, because those are gross. now i feel like i need to eat a chicken breast and half a head of broccoli to offset the sugar i just ingested.

i've rediscovered cucumber slices in my water, thanks to bagel on damen, which serves both coffee and bagels, two things i can't consume right now, but has a huge container of cucumber water for me to fill my cup with. i've been enjoying my own cucumber water at home and on the go for the past few days now. thanks, guys!

i forgot that i look good in pinks and rose, cranberry and mauve. i've been really into navy and black and grey for a while, probably because due to winter seasonal affective disorder to some extent, and mostly because they have been slimming on my ever rounder figure. now that my belly is so painfully obviously pregnant and not just pudgy, and the weather is warmer and the sun is shining, i'm branching out to more colors. and techno tribal dresses, which, apparently, is the new hot look. my closet now looks like summer.

i finally got around to watching the business of being born, which, though totally one sided, was really quite good. it put into words and images everything i've already been feeling about the birth experience on my own - that hospital guidelines and rules push women to birth in positions and with drugs which hinder the natural process that a woman's body is meant to go through. i'm not at all interested in birthing at home, but i want to make my own decisions about how long i labor and when an intervention is necessary. (along with my midwife, of course.) women have been giving birth for thousands of years without pitocin and epidurals, our bodies are hard wired to do this. i really want to experience every part of this birth and avoid medications that could affect my baby and myself in negative ways. i really feel that if you go into an experience without fear, you are better equipped to handle it, so i'm reading and hearing stories and educating myself as much as possible so i am comfortable with what my body is already prepared to do in 5 more months. and i believe that will help me cope with what i am sure will be the most painful, frightening, enjoyable, emotional, and amazing experience of my life. i'm also trying not to get my hopes up too much just in case i have a situation that will make an intervention necessary. ok, i will get off my soapbox now.

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