Bucktown provided no serious possibilities in the way of apartments, but we did manage to figure out exactly what to ask when calling about listings from now on. Next weekend: Lakeview, Lincoln Park and lofts.

Our perfect apartment (that probably doesn't exist):

- Under $1200/month
- More than 650 square feet
- 2 bedrooms or 1 bedroom and office (master at least 10x10)
- More than 2 feet of kitchen counter space
- Pantry
- Must allow our kitties to live with us
- No noisy backwards hat party boys living upstairs (or downstairs)
- Parking either easily accessible on the street or including a garage spot or lot space
- Washer/dryer in unit, or else shared between no more than 4 units
- separate dining/living rooms
- Direct sunlight in at least one window
- Ample storage/closets
- If possible: exposed brick/woodwork, built in hutch, dishwasher, stainless appliances

A highlight of the apartments we are not renting:

- Neon green/turquoise walls craphole
- "Awesome" Nacho smelling drafty back door house
- Attack dog 6'x6' bedroom apartment
- Teeny carpeted speed walking engineer un-loft
- Unstable deck coach house
- Gay lawyer tiny kitchen apartment
- Ugly stove/no laundry/no dining room but otherwise gorgeous garden apartment