So I'm seriously wired because I have just finished my fourth caffeinated beverage for the day, and I still have two and a half hours of work left because I have a shitload to do that I just can't get done with other people around (maybe I'm just too social, easily distracted, nosy, etc.) and I work better and get more done in the two and half hours after everybody has left the office than I get done in an entire day. Wait, that's not entirely true, I got quite a bit done today, and none of it was personal, a fact which I am incredibly proud of. And drinking lattes gives me calcium because I hate to drink milk unless it is caffeinated, and they are like .09 cents at the cafe in my building (ok, I'm exaggerating, but they're seriously really cheap) and most of the time they taste pretty good unless the blonde girl who can't froth milk is working, which is most afternoons. And four more espresso-based drinks to go and I get a free one. I'll be there by Monday, my friends.

I was craving mexican food and a margarita today, but ate my rice and homemade spaghetti sauce casserole instead. I still want a burrito and some tequila, and since the Hub is away tonight at a work retreat, maybe I'll gorge on some tacos from Picante and a six-pack of Tequiza on my deck this fine August evening...oh wait, it's 58 degrees outside, what am I thinking??...or maybe on the carpeted bedroom floor with the cats. Then I can sleep and wake up early enough to be back at work at 7:30 fucking am in the goddamned morning tomorrow. I love my job I love my job I love my job. Ohmigod I have to pee.

(pee break)

Ok...much better. I'm not crossing my legs and shaking my foot like a two year old that has to go potty anymore. I have been drinking liquids (none of them spiked, unfortunately) like crazy all week at work, because it keeps me busy and keeps the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups out of my mouth, so I've been running to the bathroom like crazy to keep the fluid moving. Now, the bathrooms in my building are for some reason heated to 90 degrees, even in "real" summertime, (not like this October-in-August we've been having lately) so I've learned to pee, wash and primp in record time, even without the aid of caffeine. The water faucets are those state-of-the-art hands free type, and I still reach for the knob EVERY SINGLE TIME. Now, I usually pick up things pretty fast, but for some reason I cannot grasp this daily hands-free faucet use. The water comes out at roughly 110 degrees fahrenheit, and since it is hands free there is no control over this temperature. So I scald my hands, successfully sanitizing them I'm sure, and book it back into the hallway, which is underheated at a good 60 degrees on a good day. It's a miracle I'm not sick yet. On a daily basis I run into women in the sauna...I mean bathroom...just chit chatting away about the day and who's sleeping with who and where's a good place to eat, and I just can't imagine how they're not sweat soaked through their business casual attire. Then there are a few ladies who BRUSH THEIR TEETH WITH THE SCALDING WATER and I just want to puke up the nine Reese's cups I just ate because the heated scent of a ladies bathroom and warm water do NOT make me want to put ANYTHING in my mouth. Gag. By the way, the diet...going well thank you.

I am working so hard I want to nap at 10 am every day, and would give my favorite pair of shoes for a day off, but I can't do either because I have too much work to do. Friday August 27 is what I'm working towards, and after 5:00 on that day I can collapse into a comatose ball of emily on the filthy floor of the #66 bus. It's really sad that that's my light at the end of this working over-time tunnel.

I'm getting back to work now. I do believe a Chipotle burrito will be my reward for working so damned hard today. Mmmm.....1049 calories. (Has Fast Food Nation tought me nothing?? Apparently.) I've burned more than that by simply tapping my over-caffeinated foot today.

Side note: I've edited this post like 15 times since posting because I keep finding ill-flowing sentences, misspelled and misplaced words. I think I should go home and stop re-reading this over and over and over......