because 1) i have no patience, and 2) i can't keep a secret, and 3) i have no self control, i am going to continue to write about useless materialistic crap here until my life is in order and all is well again. i don't want to jinx things, and i don't want to let the cat out of the bag and ruin everything...ok, shut up emily. ok.

so. it is warm and muggy and gross in the office today, and i sort of wish it was still winter. sort of. except that i just got a few summer shirts to replace my old/outdated/uncool/ratty/worn summer shirts, and i can't wait to wear them. tank tops! showing shoulder! skin! tan! woohoo!

so. even though it is warm and muggy, it appears that the weather is going to be much different this weekend when i have plans to walk and be outdoors and entertain on my roof. 50-some degrees and rainy. of course. such is my luck.

and so here i am, sipping my large complicated yuppie coffee beverage, trying to stay busy and keep my mind off of the current hugeness happening to my life. i've organized a lot of things, surged through half of my long to do list, and i'm still itchy and restless. damn.

so, a to do list for tonight:

1. make olive tapenade tonight for a dinner party next week, and try not to eat it all with a spoon on the couch. which i would do. because i love my olive tapenade.

2. test my mother's blue cheese biscuit recipe for another dinner party this weekend.

3. have a glass of wine to calm my nerves because I CANNOT KEEP A SECRET, and the wine might help me forget about it, at least for the evening.

4. hem plaid pants into bermuda shorts. try them on and dance around the house listening to hot chip.

5. fix hole in cute 70's skirt. then put it away in the closet because it is going to be too damned cold over the next few days to wear it.

6. also fix hole in pillow sham that has been sitting on the dining room table for weeks.

7. make a pair of earrings to match the necklace i'm giving to a friend tomorrow night.

8. have another glass of wine and fall asleep quickly.

domestic doings to keep my mind from wandering.