Feb 6, 2007

so i've been kind of down recently, i've been sick off and on for two weeks, and am currently fighting an ear infection (probably two, my other ear is feeling it now), a sinus infection, and a severe cold. i have spent 6 of the last 14 days in bed (or on the couch), and have pooped out on plenty of fun plans. it's a bummer. plus it's really damned cold and i badly need a haircut and i haven't done any proper grocery shopping in a long time.

nothing exciting here.

so here's a totally worthless story:

last night i ran an errand which ended up taking me to the front door of carson pirie scott that is closing downtown. i've been inside for the start of the liquidation sale, and only spent about $20, more than half of which was a gift. but the discounts last night had risen from 20-50% off to 50-70% off, so i thought i'd give it one more whirl. it was pretty desolate, lots of muddy diamond jewelry, damaged clothing, stacks of ugly shoes in sizes too big for me anyway. i tried on a vera wang nightgown, but decided against it as it was still more than i need to be spending on another piece of sleepwear. i picked through the kitchenwares, almost bought a $4 silicone angel food cake pan, when i remembered i have nowhere to put it in my overstuffed cabinets.

with empty arms i was tiring, wearing out. my last stop was in the dresses section, where a young girl and her trailer trash mom were trying on strapless aquamarine and hot pink floor length prom dresses to wear to a wedding next weekend. (not kidding.) trying not to listen to the mother's comments, ("it is floor length so it doesn't show off so much of your bod. maybe you should look for a shorter one.") i found a few cute pieces, and decided that at 60% off i could risk having one of them fit me perfectly. two did. it was a miracle. the first was a simple black jersey knit that i might go back tonight to buy. the second was a brown rough silk cocktail dress, with ruching (slimming!) at the bust and a gorgeous teal satin ribbon at the empire waist which tied at the back. it fit perfectly. perfectly. that means a ton coming from a petite but chubby girl who has probably never, not once, had an item of clothing fit exactly as it should right off the rack. this dress was a dream. a beautiful brown silk dream with a big snag in the fabric on the left boob. i didn't notice it as i pulled it off the rack, but there it was, staring at me in the dressing room mirror. i tried to smooth it out, i brainstormed how it could be masked, hidden, i literally shed a tear because it was so perfect except for this one major flaw in the finish. i pouted and i put it back, and also the cute black jersey dress, just to spite myself. and i went home, broken, beaten by the stupid sale. i tried so hard to find something to purchase, and i failed. i'm losing my shopping edge. it's really very sad.

so today i do a quick search for the maker of the dress and the word "brown". and of course google found it. or i should say found one. in my size. new with tags on ebay. i'm torn. and materialistic and self centered. i want the dress, and i could have it.

but really, what occasion do i have to wear a cocktail dress to? in february? even if it is a color that looks stunning on me, in a cut that is flattering to my figure and a price that is reasonable? i guess i'll pass. it only took me 20 minutes of typing to decide that. nor that it won't help me continue the little grumpy dump i'm in right now. bleh.

1 comment:

Hillary said...

dude. i'm losing my shopping edge, too! i've been blaming the weather but maybe something more sinister is afoot. it's not possible that we are growing less materialistic...is it? no! what else could it be?

i mean, part of me doesn't want to buy stuff because i've started working out and plan to lose weight. but that doesn't explain my inability to buy shoes and jewelry and gloves and makeup!

maybe i'm growing up and understand that i need money in order to pay bills and buy a new couch and stuff.

this is truly scary.