i just ate an entire half roll of necco wafers to get to the only chocolate one in the whole roll that was nestled safely in the center, because the chocolate ones are really the best ones, which is probably why they make this. why i didn't buy the chocolate roll is beyond me. i can't be trusted to make decisions lately. in the process of eating the original wafers i did throw a few of the liquorice ones on the ground, because those are gross. now i feel like i need to eat a chicken breast and half a head of broccoli to offset the sugar i just ingested.

i've rediscovered cucumber slices in my water, thanks to bagel on damen, which serves both coffee and bagels, two things i can't consume right now, but has a huge container of cucumber water for me to fill my cup with. i've been enjoying my own cucumber water at home and on the go for the past few days now. thanks, guys!

i forgot that i look good in pinks and rose, cranberry and mauve. i've been really into navy and black and grey for a while, probably because due to winter seasonal affective disorder to some extent, and mostly because they have been slimming on my ever rounder figure. now that my belly is so painfully obviously pregnant and not just pudgy, and the weather is warmer and the sun is shining, i'm branching out to more colors. and techno tribal dresses, which, apparently, is the new hot look. my closet now looks like summer.

i finally got around to watching the business of being born, which, though totally one sided, was really quite good. it put into words and images everything i've already been feeling about the birth experience on my own - that hospital guidelines and rules push women to birth in positions and with drugs which hinder the natural process that a woman's body is meant to go through. i'm not at all interested in birthing at home, but i want to make my own decisions about how long i labor and when an intervention is necessary. (along with my midwife, of course.) women have been giving birth for thousands of years without pitocin and epidurals, our bodies are hard wired to do this. i really want to experience every part of this birth and avoid medications that could affect my baby and myself in negative ways. i really feel that if you go into an experience without fear, you are better equipped to handle it, so i'm reading and hearing stories and educating myself as much as possible so i am comfortable with what my body is already prepared to do in 5 more months. and i believe that will help me cope with what i am sure will be the most painful, frightening, enjoyable, emotional, and amazing experience of my life. i'm also trying not to get my hopes up too much just in case i have a situation that will make an intervention necessary. ok, i will get off my soapbox now.

numbers

2 - the number of days per week i've been working the past month or so.

3 - the number of jobs i have now, all food related.

4 - the number of days per week i will be working for the rest of the summer. bummer.

5 - the number of pounds i have gained since getting knocked up.

8 - the number of days until i meet with a second gastroenterologist who may possibly (fingers crossed) tell me that i can eat gluten again.

10 - the number of boxes of gluten free waffles from the case i impulse bought that i have left to eat really quickly just in case i can eat real waffles again soon.

12 - the number of foods/restaurants on my "things to eat immediately after being told i can eat gluten again" list.

17 - the number of weeks pregnant i am.

20 - the number of pounds i feel like i look like i've gained since getting knocked up.

24 - the number of hours in a day that i think about food recently.

my little brother is recently engaged and starting a new life near us in chicago. i love love love his fiance, we are becoming quite close and i think of her as the little sister i never had. i am so thrilled that she will be joining our family for good, and maybe even sooner than the summer 2012 wedding they originally planned for....

a few months ago i saw a contest for a dream wedding giveaway for an amazing wedding here in chicago this fall, on 11/11/10. phil and katelin planned on having their wedding in virginia, so i forwarded the contest link to katelin and asked her if she'd consider having their wedding here in chicago if it happened to be free. she entered and we all forgot about it. until this week when katelin received an email that she and phil made it to the top 10 semi-finalists!

i'm so excited for them i can barely stand it! aside from the fact that the wedding date is a mere 2 weeks after i am due to deliver our baby, I REALLY WANT THEM TO WIN! i will hobble down the aisle post delivery in a maternity bridesmaid dress with a crying baby if i have to! my brother is in law school, with loans piling up around his ears, and katelin just started a job here in chicago after being unemployed for many months. neither of our families have the means to pay for their true dream wedding, which is part of the reason they planned such a long engagement. winning this contest would change everything for them and help them begin their married life without the debt of a wedding looming over them.

the top 10 couples and their stories are featured on the contest website for people to vote on their favorite couple to narrow down the top 3, which will then be chosen by a selection committee later this month. SO! please please PLEASE vote for my little brother phil and his fabulous fiance katelin so they can start their married life together with a gorgeous (free) chicago wedding this november. you have one week! VOTE NOW!

just look at their cute faces! they are clearly the most adorable and deserving couple in the mix.

http://elevenelevenwedding.com/

first of all, i really truly promise that this blog won't be all about baby stuff. i'm just totally preoccupied with it all right now, and still basking in all of the newness and excitement. i have a lot on my mind, most of it pregnancy, birth, and newborn related.

i just entered my second trimester, my nausea is gone, my skin is clearing up, and i'm getting that beloved burst of energy that everyone keeps talking about. i'm also experiencing different kinds of feelings, discomforts and anxieties as i look a little more pregnant each day and the reality of having a real life baby to care for in 6 short months sets in.

i'm still in total awe of the whole miracle of carrying a tiny little baby around inside of me. of the growth and development happening in my body every minute. each time i listen to the tiny heartbeat on my home doppler i tear up and shake my head. there is a little tiny person depending on me to make good decisions, to be safe, to be calm, and to protect him or her every day. the baby is letting me know its presence more and more, as i'm having trouble bending over, feeling more pressure in my abdomen and having a ravenous hunger 24/7. no flutters of movement yet, but i can't wait until there are in a few weeks.

we had a 4-d ultrasound last week which was incredible. seeing such detail on the screen really left us speechless. watching our baby spin around inside my womb made all of this so much more real. seeing tiny hands, feet, a defined little face and a little bony bottom - watching all of these parts maneuver around in the confinement of my belly was just amazing. baby berman is healthy, with a strong fast heartbeat and a good size so far. our next ultrasound appointment is june 10 when we find out the gender - less than 6 weeks until i can start thinking more specifically about my future son or daughter.

i've started my research on what exactly we're going to need, and am reaching out to new moms all over the board to get advice to base our decisions off of. our biggest decision (and investment) will be in a stroller. since we don't own a car we are going to be using a stroller as our main method of transportation with bb. and there is so much to consider, including car seat adapters - will it really be necessary considering we're not going to be riding in a car that often? i'm leaning towards a bugaboo for their versatility, compactibility and light weight, but i'm still getting a tightness in my chest at the cost. and then there is everything else. there are buckets of items we'll need no matter what - a carseat, nail clippers, a crib. and buckets of items i know we can do without - wipes warmer, bottle sanitizer, diaper genie. and buckets of items i don't know if we'll need or not - bassinet, bouncy seat, nursing pillow? all of those things coupled with the whole clothing thing - not knowing how big bb will be at birth so not knowing what size to buy, and being due in late fall we'll need bunting and long sleeves and cold weather accessories almost immediately. needless to say, i'm a little overwhelmed and am welcoming any and all advice.

and now for non-baby talk:

my nannying/personal chef gig has come to an end, and i'm starting a new gig assisting an artisanal pasta maker for the summer. i'm in charge of her packaging and labeling, helping her get her products out to specialty stores and farmers markets. it's fun and interesting and i'm happy to get to work with freshly handmade pasta, even if i can't eat it.

and, on a related note, i will be seeing a different gastroenterologist in about a month to reevaluate my potential celiac diagnoses. my first doctor was convinced that my symptoms could be caused my nothing other than a gluten intolerance, but as i am not feeling much of a difference after depriving myself of bread and pasta and cupcakes for 3 months, i'm thinking otherwise. i'm trying not to get my hopes up, but hopefully this new doc can shed some light on my symptoms and reopen my dietary options for the remainder of my pregnancy. i would kill for a hamburger on a pretzel roll.