i'm trying to keep my mind off of things, so here are a few things that i'm keeping myself busy with these days:

flickr: this bedroom series is fascinating to me.

etsy (still): i want some t-shirts.

the west elm sale.

back-reading designsponge.

these prints. i can't stop looking at them. i MUST have 2 or 3 of them for my new house.

work. seriously. it has picked up for me a bit over the last week or two and i couldn't be more thrilled.

i'm going to a fun (i hope) foodie event tonight. i even bought new shoes to wear for it.

aaaah we're moving on friday. we will OWN PROPERTY! it blows my mind so much i need a drink. good news because in about 3 hours i will get one. with gin. which is fine by me.

so hubb and i went to austin and spent four days with family, eating, drinking, remembering. it was great to see everyone, to meet my cousin's 5 month old, Sophie, and go through old photographs with my grandma. aside from all of the men in the family injuring themselves during the trip, the weekend was a success.

1-my uncle arrives in austin and promptly goes to the emergency room to have a foreign object removed from his thumb. (still not sure what happened there.)
2-my father pulls his shoulder while throwing the very first trash bag of garbage hauled from my aunt Ve's house into the dumpster. he was out of commission after less than 5 minutes of work.
3-my other uncle Ed bites the pavement stepping out of the van on day 2 of cleaning out Ve's house. many bandages later, his knee is covered but he's out of the worker bee army.
4-my little brother, who sprained his ankle a week or two ago, walks backwards off a curb outside our hotel, tumbles to the ground, and (we later learned) ended up fracturing his ankle.
5-hubb drinks a bit too much saturday night, spends sunday traveling and praying that his head will give him a break, and has now been dizzy for three days straight. there's no way it is can still be the alcohol, so he's off to the doctor to see why his head won't stop spinning.

as soon as we arrived in austin we also received news that our closing is pushed back a week to allow the builder to finish our unit properly. it probably works out for the best anyway, because now we have another solid weekend to pack. i'm still antsy, though. i'm ready to be in My Home.

i'm feeling a little lost. maybe it's the upcoming move and signing on the dotted line and all, maybe it's my great aunt's memorial this friday, maybe it's the rain and fog, but i'm sort of melancholy and self-doubting about everything lately. my skills, my job, my decisions, my style. just everything. it sucks, but i am not so sure what to do about it quite yet.

i keep deciding that i'm going to quit my job, sell all of my things, stop drinking, quit eating meat, and escape to somewhere in the mountains where i can be solitary and wear sweaters and no makeup and eat lots of potatoes and drink coffee on a porch. and maybe paint some more. but maybe just one of these things will improve my mental state.

i joined a gym but i haven't worked out yet. i may go after work if i can muster up some energy. but then again, i may not. i have to hem some dark jeans so i can wear them this weekend in austin.

we still have a lot of packing to do, but it is ever so stressful. i just want it to be over with.

now that i think of it, i bet the coming of fall is what's got me down and out of sorts. i love the fall, but the changing weather always does terrible things to me. plus the fact that all of my fall clothes are a size or two too small and all of my extra monthly moneys are now slated to paying for a mortgage rather than new pants.

plus, apparently i'm tick tocking away and i keep having dreams about being pregnant. (shh...don't tell hubb.) i know we're not ready but still...something is going on in there. my ovaries are whispering to each other while i sleep and it's making me think.

i also had a dream about my childhood dog, Chester, who died last thanksgiving. i dreamt i was holding him in my arms when he passed. i woke up crying and then couldn't fall back asleep for an hour, it was so real. which started my recent trend of waking up every night at 4:00 am on the dot and not falling back asleep until after 5. i want desperately to find some significance in that.

so if you know me and i become (or have already become) flaky and snappy, just ignore it. i'll hopefully make a turn for the better once one or two of my many stressors is behind me as i take another step up this mountain of my life.

so we had our yard sale, and we sold a ton of clothes to crossroads, and we sold our dining room table, and a printer, and still donated about $400 worth of stuff (probably more, we tend to underestimate). we made enough money to buy our new dining room table, but then we went on a date and bought a great danish modern buffet to use as a dresser and a huge mirror from a thrift store. now we only have about 75% of the money for our new dining room table, but that's a start. and it makes me happy.

i'm now off to a gym for an introduction and tour and a possibility of giving them a bunch of money so that i may be guilted into visiting said gym so that i will sweat and in turn, lose 10-15 pounds. wish me luck.