this week has been a roller coaster. i went through this random bout of depression last week, which ran into this week making me rather useless and lumpy for a few days. i'm sort of back to normal, but it's taken a few major events to bring me back up. in no particular order: a new toy at work, a new dress...for DINNER AT SCHWA TONIGHT!, baking the most delicious muffins ever, joining my condo association board, and getting below my hump weight (the number i haven't been able to crack for 3 or 4 months....until this week. hopefully the downward trend on the scale continues). oh, and great news a large portion of my friends, which always cheers me up...a big fat congrats to the newly engaged, newly impregnated, soon-to-be homeowners, and all the other happy people i know.

one of my best friends is pregnant, 7-1/2 weeks. i have lots of other friends who are with child, but this one is my only local one, so i'll get to intimately observe her progress, the joys and the pains. she only found out two weeks ago, but with the sharing she's done so far, i'm beginning to question my desire to actually ever have children. really. the world is overpopulated anyway, and i don't have the strength to be nauseous all the time.

the seasons are finally changing, which is probably the impetus for all of these life changes people around me are going through. me, i'm sick to death of knee high socks and scarves, and the first few days of this week made me crazy with their cute shoe allowing warm temps. i am desperate for days of skirts and tank tops and flip flops and sweating because of the sun and not the sticky overdressed people on the bus. all i need is a change in wardrobe right now.

everything really is going just wonderfully for me right now, i just need to wrap myself around it all and stop dwelling on silly things. it's just silly. and silliness isn't going to get me anywhere. but that's probably my problem to begin with; right now i'm not going anywhere. just coasting. which is incredibly distressing to me.