so it's already almost july, which i can't get over. july! summer is nearly half over! i don't even have a tan! i didn't even plant any tomato plants! this flying time is really getting to me. i need to start making better use of my days and weeks.

every time i start to write here i get an unbearable urge to write about the new house. and the decorating. and the furniture. and the colors and the fixtures and the neighborhood. i still have three months until we close and i'm driving myself batty. what if something happens? what if things fall through? i will be totally crushed and i won't know what to do. so i'm trying to find other things to obsess about, which isn't working very well.

i went to ohio last weekend to visit a friend, that lead to the discovery that i've been wearing the wrong bra size, probably for years. it never occurred to me to get sized again after gaining some weight last fall, but it appears that i should have. i've been wearing bras a cup size too small and a band size too big. so i've been shopping for new undergarments, but i'm feeling rather uneasy about the new cup letter. it feels weird to me to say it out loud. it isn't who i have always thought i've been, having the same boobs since college. or maybe i was wrong then, too? it pains me to think about it, and all of the undersized pretty underthings that i should put away, probably forever. at least my chest is keeping me from thinking about my new house.

it's beautiful outside today and i wish i was at home on my roof with my oversized beach towel, a margarita and Gourmet magazine. this month has some great articles that i'm dying to read, when i can find the time. but this weekend will be spent cleaning and grocery shopping and cooking in preparation for a bbq. can i have a week off, please?

and i got my new bike but i haven't really been riding it, save for a trip to the grocery store or a nearby bar every now and then. i need the sky to stop threatening thunder storms so i can get riding to work. i'm nervous about the bridges and the underpasses that spot the route, but i'm excited to leave the bus behind for a bit and get a little bit of exercise and wind in my face.

hubb and i are participating in an Angelic Organics share again this year, and we've been getting at least 5 pounds of lettuce and other mixed greens each week. so i've been eating lots and lots of salad, which is good because i've lost 2 pounds. i know that's not a lot, but it's a start to wearing a bathing suit in public. like at our office bbq next month.

update complete. back to not thinking about furniture shopping.

i've been rather down lately. vague. blah. it's not that i don't know why, i just don't feel appropriate talking about it here. i try to keep myself occupied in other ways for fear of boring/annoying/shocking/offending. blah. so i sit. and the truth is, i'm not feeling very interesting/important/motivated.

i need a day or two to be different. to stop depending on the things i've grown used to depend on. to be rude and selfish. to be mean and obscene and disgusting. to be a complete and total bitch. to get out all of this poison floating around. this grump. to get out the grump so i can be an even balance again. blah.

we all know i'm emotional and up and down, but the point is that i shouldn't be. i should be normal and sane and happy. but blah still happens and i have trouble shaking it. i'm not getting excited and i'm not getting inspired. i'm beginning to be flaky and snappy and brittle. not good.

so if you're one of the people i see frequently (or infrequently, even) please pardon my blah. i know it's there, and why it's there, and i'm working on it. slowly, as my mood allows.

so, i bought a bicycle, a vintage sears free spirit in robin's egg blue (i'll post photos soon). i also bought a lock, and am waiting on the arrival of a pretty white helmet and white front basket. i'll be cruising around town in style by the end of the week, hopefully. i'm terribly excited. and i lied....Hubb bought me the bike. and the helmet. i have the best husband ever.

i also went to milwaukee, for a weekend of drinking and drinking and drinking. i'm still recovering. i need a nap. all 8 members of our little group fully documented our trip, but you can start by looking at my photos here. the whole weekend was delicious, especially the frenchie bloody mary at the trocadero cafe. oh. my. god. dijon mustard and blue cheese stuffed olives. delish. milwaukee isn't so bad.

so i need some input...we're picking out colors/themes for our new place and i can't decide on a simple swatch for upholstering a 15" x15" cushion for a chair that will go in our bedroom. the walls will be a pale smoky baby blue, our furniture will be white (including this chair), and our bed linens are currently sage green (but i will be buying brown). we also plan to paint a brown graphic organic silhouetted image on the wall above the bed. so here are my swatches. i can't decide. they each could provide a totally different feel to the space. so what do you think?

left to right, top to bottom: sunbloom lotus lea, charm mosaic paisley sky, sofia garden light blue, graceful vine brown, honeycomb turquoise, and charm floral sky.

i'm leaning towards the lotus leaf or the sofia garden to add some pop. or the graceful vine to tie in the brown, or the honeycomb just because i love it. i need help.

so we picked out our finishes, cabinets, counters, paints, and are getting closer to feeling like we're going to be homeowners soon. of course, we wish the builder had more options for creative trendy individuals such as us, but we managed with the generic condo options given to us. paint was the hardest, but we finally agreed on a smoky pale blue (Take Five!) for our master bedroom, and an appropriately named "Agreeable Grey" for the rest of the house. we'll do some more painting once we move in, maybe a gold in the turret and an accent wall in the hallway, but at least we'll have something other than flat white when we move in.

i counted, and we have 16 weeks until our proposed closing. that's a long freaking time and i don't know how i'm going to live through it. i want to start packing and selling our unwanted furniture RIGHT NOW! and get into OUR house with OUR paint choices and OUR central air conditioning. ahhh. oh my god can you tell that i'm excited?

so every couple of weeks hubb and i get together with another couple for dinner and game night. we mostly play mah jongg, and last night i won. twice. i'm still on a high from my wins, and i'm antsy for some winds and bams and dots today. instead i'm super busy at work and i can't believe it's lunchtime already. tonight i'm attending a going away party for a dear girlfriend of mine who is moving to ohio next week. it has taken me so long to get real comfortable talk about anything girlfriends here in chicago, and they're already moving away. i give that a big thumbs down.

and can you believe that it's june already? my god how the time flies. pray for me that it will fly as fast to closing on my new agreeably finished home.