What is making me sad/upset/grumpy:
1. taxes. oh my god taxes make me cry.
2. potato chips. they keep turning up in my hands and my mouth.
3. which leads to....my favorite jeans that are slowly working on a hole in the inner thigh.
4. people who don't trust me.
5. waking up in the morning for work after a totally unsatisfying night of waking up every hour.

What has been cheering me up:
1. eating duck. thank you g and s.
2. drinking entirely too much wine.
3. babies.
4. sewing things.
5. girl time.

What would finish the job of turning my frown upside down:
1. a staple remover that looks like a crocodile.
2. kung fu movies.
3. some nice fabric to sew more things.
4. fresh flowers in my kitchen.
5. repainting the canvas in our bedroom.

8 things.

1. I used to sweat girl time, and now I'm getting more than I ever have before. Yay for that! And yay for girls who like to eat and understand my shopping style (and even better...my sale rack addiction.)

2. Sew Betsy Ross. Yay for patterns of adorable easily customized skirts and cute shirts that I can make out of a $4 satin sale skirt.

3. De Martino. My new favorite wine: the organic cabernet.

4. I honestly nearly cried during last week's Project Runway. I'm so thrilled my boy Daniel made it to the final 3. I am such a nerd.

5. It is review time at work and I'm worried more about the people I'm reviewing than about my own review. Which is good, I guess.

6. Making something "your bitch" is a phrase that isn't nearly used widely enough these days. That complicated chicken recipe...I will make it my bitch. Taxes....they will totally be my bitch. That bottle of wine I've been meaning to open....my bitch all the way.

7. My butt is sore from walking and stretching and the bastardized yoga thing I do every once in a while, but I got a wonderful 30 minute massage yesterday at work (yes...at work!) that totally made my day. My office can really rule sometimes.

8. Am I or am I not a cowboy boot girl? I have yet to decide. I nearly bought a pair last weekend, changed my mind, and have been thinking about them ever since. Yay or nay? Poll?

Random Friday things, in no particular order:

1. I've been dreaming quite a bit recently about getting a raise / getting a bonus / winning money / finding money. I dont' know where this stems from, but I'm sure it means that my finely tuned foresight is telling me that my net worth will increase shortly. I should probably trust in this and go shopping soon.

2. I've recently discovered Widgets and I love them. Yes, I am a bit late for the technology train, but I do have a ticket. Really.

3. I'm feeling in a rut with my wardrobe right now, and I really want to initiate a total style makeover. Maybe if I start dressing really really poorly someone will recommend me to What Not To Wear and I'll get some new hip clothes. Like these:

Although I realize that with the exception of the skirt and the cute tweed jacket, I sort of dress like this now. Maybe just not as sleek and sophisticated, though. Sigh.

Happy Heart Day.

So. Last night I got together with a girlfriend for wine and caprese salad and clam chowder and shopping and it was so much fun I almost kissed her on the mouth when we said goodbye. And I didn't even buy anything, which is a very different behavior for me. And then I went home and fell into a serious headachey/crampy/sleepy coma and watched half of The Grizzly Man which freaked me out/fascinated me/disturbed me so much that I can't wait to watch the rest of it tonight after a nice raw meaty dinner. That man...is totally bizarre. And the narrator's name is Werner Herzog and he has this fantastic accent that I want to listen to/want to turn off at the same time. Maybe it's the grizzly bears, but I'm all about the slash slash today.

I've been drinking lots of liquids, like a good healthy girl, and my little water jug is leaking every time I take a sip. I hate that.

It is snowing in swirls outside, a snowglobe of a city, and I forgot a hat.

I've had this sinus/cold thing for a couple of days, and though I'm feeling much better during the day, at night I get much much worse. I don't understand the deal with that, as I'm not taking any medication to ease my symptoms that could be wearing off, so I'll go ahead and attribute it to the need for a nightcap. Blackberry brandy worked like a charm last night, knocked me the hell out, so hard that I could barely wake up today. I fell back asleep sitting upright at the foot of the bed watching Fox news.

Why does time move so much slower as the day goes on? Seriously, is it 6:00 yet?

Everyone should subscribe to Wholphin. My god McSweeney's is genious. I promise you will not be disappointed. Pure pleasure, I tell you.

I've been busy.

I wrote an article. I got sick. I danced a bit. I cooked some. I paid a flurry of bills. I watched the SuperBowl. I bought a vegetarian cookbook for my little brother. I also bought some shoes.

Comfortable wonderful adorable shoes.

I've also been amazed. At life, at the continuing cycle of mine. The length of my hair, the style of my dress, the size of my pants....they vary, but like clockwork. Every season seems to repeat itself. I need a jolt to break free. It is boring, yet I am amazed at how precisely I follow the same path over and over. I've been thinking about that alot lately.

I've also decided to finally get healthy. Not that I am currently considerably UNhealthy, but I have habits and I follow routines that may not be the best for my body. I'm starting today by increasing my liquid intake, at least 64 ounces of water a day. At least. And less carbs. More veggies. Less dairy. More fiber. Less laziness. More walking. Less alcohol... in baby steps. I do enjoy a glass of wine in the evenings. And how.

Tonight: a drink date with my girlfriend.

This weekend: Off to Atlanta to be with my very best girlfriend in the whole world. The only girl I will kiss on the mouth. The only girl I will walk around in my underwear in front of. The only girl I have no trouble falling asleep next to. The only girl I would drop everything for. The only girl who has ever loved every thing about me, every time it has changed, during every cycle, every time.

I miss my camera. I'm suddenly awash in longing, sadness, dispair even. Well maybe not despair, but something close to it when I see that perfect shot, have the energy to tackle photographing my jewelry that I've been putting off for so long, or want to capture a moment and I don't have a camera in sight. It's so sad. I feel like I'm letting all sorts of wonderful things slip away.

As long as I have it back in time for our California Adventure planned for two months from now, I'll be fine.

The California Adventure. Here's the plan: Fly to LA, stay with my aunt and uncle for a few days, explore LA, get sick of LA, leave LA and drive up the coast at a leisurely pace (2 days) to San Francisco. See wonderful things, breathe fresh air, fear falling over the cliffs. Enjoy San Francisco, Napa, the bay. Eat lots of seafood, ride a cable car. Celebrate our three year wedding anniversary. Stay at an artsy hotel. Come back to Chicago. I absolutely can't wait. I've already made the excel spreadsheet of our time, researched hundreds of flight options, car options, hotel options, received the tourist packets, read articles, websites, recommendations. And I still have a ton of planning to do. I love vacations.

I am sort of grumpy this week, but I can't exactly pinpoint why. Maybe it's the bills, the impending afternoon doing taxes, the wet cold outside. The teeth grinding I can't stop myself from doing. I'm restless.

And hungry for lunch. Leftover crab stuffed flounder del ray from Cafe Laguardia. My absolute favorite thing to eat. Ever.