I'm on a path of destruction with my wardrobe right now...a grease stain on my favorite peacock blue deep v tee shirt, a pull in my brand new purple sweater, unattractive stretchiness in my favorite cardigan, a hole forming in my favorite jeans, pilling on my favorite black sweater. It makes me sad to see clothes go, especially when I'm not particularly in the mood to go shopping to replace them.

I made the most wonderful pair of earrings last night, all dangly and sparkly and wonderful opalescent glass bead beautiful. I will photograph them and post them soon. Along with some of my other pieces, I swear! Or maybe I'll just have Hubb do it with his brand new birthday camera.

I've about half of my Christmas shopping finished, and the rest of it selected and planned. I'm sending many people Frango mints, to celebrate the last Christmas of Marshall Field's. The limited edition peppermint bark mints are heavenly. This year is going to be rustic and understated and warm fuzziness, both in the gifts I am giving and the packaging I am giving them in. Brown paper and ribbon and twine. And simple graphic holiday cards. Lovely.

So today is Hubb's birthday; Happy Birthday, Hubb! We shall celebrate with margarits and guac.

I won a Nano! At the Wired event Wednesday at Enclave, I won the iPod Nano! Hurray for me! It is so precious, tiny and smooth and wonderful and light. I love it. Now Hubb and I have more iPods than people in our house. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Dressing up as a Nano for Halloween paid off! Next year I'm dressing up as a house. Or a private jet. Or a million dollars.

I'm sorry.

It has been brought to my attention that I may have said some things in this blog in the past about people that may be hurtful. My intention has never been to harm people's feelings, or to cause stress or tension between others, and I apologize. I am embarrassed and ashamed for complaining so openly about these people, and I know I would be incredibly hurt if someone said the same things about me. I'm sorry and I have deleted those comments.

That said, this blog is a place for self expression, for venting and for sharing, for being vague and at the same time being completely honest about who and what I am. I am not a mean spirited person, though I may come across that way sometimes. I don't want to turn this into a self-defensive rant.

I don't mention names, I don't mention places. If you know me, you know what I do, where I work, who I am friends with. You know where I live. I would be an idiot to think that my friends and coworkers wouldn't know this site was mine if they came across it, and apparently I have been pretty stupid by thinking that it was safe from the people I was talking about.

I'm sorry.

I've had a headache all day, Hubb thinks it is because my computer monitor is too far away and I think it is from MSG or allergies or else I'm beginning to get migraines. Ouch. Maybe drinks will help me. Free drinks.

I'd forgotten about my obsession with Kai perfume...I went through three or four samples when it first came out, and just received another sample in the mail yesterday. I finally splurged and got myself a vial. It makes me feel simply, cleanly, naturally good. In a wonderful delicious way. Like I just want to go home and lay in bed with my head under the covers and smell the way it interacts with my body chemistry.

Christmas is in full swing and we still have a month to go. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. I'm just busy thinking about New Year's.

He's finally gone. My beloved Chester passed away on Friday. I don't go home for Thanksgiving and my dog dies. Shows me. I miss him. We have known he was on his last leg for a while now...I got to see him twice in a month this fall, to say goodbye, even though I didn't really believe it. I was planning on doing the last and final farewell at Christmas but he couldn't hold on that long. My poor baby booper boy. But, as Hubb reassured me, Chester most definitely made it to doggy heaven. He was the best dog. Such a good dog.

I am sort of afraid to ever get another canine, because I'll expect it to live up to what Chester was. Smart, energetic, but still always ready to lay down and groan and sigh and put his head on my pillow. Always excited to see me, the only other man allowed between myself and Hubb in bed. My Chester bester booper boy. He will always be My Dog. Nobody will ever replace him.

1. My oven broke on Thanksgiving. No joke. As soon as the turkey was finished (timing which I am forever thankful for) the oven started wailing a god awful siren and flashing "F3! F3! F3!" in giant red terribleness. It was like a terrible sitcom as we ran up and down the stairs to my angel of a neighbor's oven to tend to the dressing, and watched the rolls expand in the toaster oven. I won't get a properly working oven for almost two weeks...so the turkey pot pie will have to remain a dream this year.

2. We still have at least 15 pounds of turkey left. And with no oven to make a casserole, and no taste for soup, I'm going to have to get creative.

3. I got a new cell phone. It is a camera phone. It is fun. And I get to keep the chirping birds ring tone. Fabulous.

4. I also got an absolutely fantastic vintage wool peacoat with fur trim. I checked it out a week ago at Una Mae's Freak Boutique, put it on hold, never returned to buy it, and returned to find it was still there on the rack a week later. It was a sign. I had to have this coat. It is fabulous.

5. Hubb and my brother found a huge stash of firewood, which we immediately began pilfering for ourselves. This winter is saved from a diminishing firewood supply! Yay!

5. And I got to spend a week with my brother and my mom, visit the Robie house, see a wonderful play, eat way too much food, buy tons of Frango mints, decorate my house for Christmas with my mom, and have lots of fires. It was the perfect Thanksgiving. And I'm thankful for that.

Oh my god, so we were given the BIGGEST DAMN TURKEY THAT EVER LIVED in a wonderful serendipitous turn of events, and it is living in my fridge, frozen, hulking, no doubt frightening the carrots and the kale. I, too, am slightly afraid of this thing, this gigantic bird that will probably take ten hours to cook, and make enough drippings for seventeen gallons of delicious gravy. I can't even fit anything else in my oven when he's in there. Oh my god I can't wait. I'm sort of worried that I will a) drop him as I am transferring him into/out of the oven and ruin Thanksgiving; b) not have enough time for him to cook all of the way through and ruin Thanksgiving; and/or c) get completely sick of turkey before Thanksgiving dinner is even finished, and 20+ pounds of bird will end up rotting in my fridge until New Year's. But I'm also terribly excited. What a way to kick of being a "grown up" and hosting our first major holiday! With a huge fucking bird! I believe I will call him Archibald, Archie for short.

Thank you for your life, Archie. I will enjoy you, my guests (except for the vegetarians) will enjoy you. And Hubb and I will enjoy you in countless sandwiches, casseroles, soups, and stews for quite some time. Thank you for your sacrifice to make my holiday special.

Now I'm going home to begin cleaning and cooking. Yes, it is Monday and I'm already starting to cook dinner for Thursday. I LOVE this holiday!

Happy Turkey Day y'all.

Winter is here...in case you haven't noticed. I've been wearing more clothes, enjoying my new earwarmers, drinking more in the evenings to warm myself up, and slowly fattening up to protect myself from the elements. Ah winter. How I've missed thee. And how I wish I hadn't gotten rid of all of my fat pants.

I'm antsy for a pair of suede pointy-toe wedge-heel boots but I can't find any anywhere. And I really really want them. I saw an incredibly large woman on the bus wearing them, and I swear I can do them better justice. Even though they were still super cute clinging tightly to her rather large ankles.

Although I hate the whole Ugg thing, and I'm not one for cowboy boots in the city, I am liking these right now:

I can't really explain it.

Tonight is full of social obligations, drinks with a former coworker who I miss terribly, dinner date at a new restaurant with the Hubb, bars with friends, etc. Sleeping in tomorrow is the gold at the end of this rainbow of a winter Friday evening.

So you know how every once in a while it seems like your attention it constantly drawn to something you've never really paid much attention to, like a certain type of food, a color, a word you never use but suddenly hear everywhere? Like there is a sudden surge of this thing, your mind catches every single instance of it, you feel like it is following you everywhere?

• Instance 1: when I learned that I didn't really like riesling, and suddenly everybody is giving it to us and bringing it to dinner parties and serving it to me everywhere I go. So I politely drink it, and in the end, wind up appreciating it a little bit more than when I decided I didn't like it at all.
• Instance 2: how in the past couple of weeks I can't escape the reference of "Small Wonder", that mid-80's sitcom about a robotic girl. She's everywhere! Referenced in bars, at parties, on television shows, myspace friend requests...I can't get away from the sudden and slightly disturbing Small Wonder resurfacing.

Random warm spot: I just realized that when my step-mother said "I love you" as I was leaving to come back to Chicago after her mother's funeral, it was the first time she had ever said it out loud to me. I am touched as I think about that.

Hubb and I spent the weekend with his parents, visiting the Farnsworth house, taking a Chicago Gangster bus tour, and eating out a lot. I also got to cook two wonderfully delicious meals (if I do say so myself) for them, which was an absolute pleasure. I love to cook to impress, especially when it is for the parents. In the process I came up with a recipe for cornbread stuffing that I plan to include in the Thanksgiving menu. Delish.

This week is cold, and slow, and unplanned...I ordered beads to make more necklaces for Christmas, and I have some pants I need to hem. I'd like to have the first fire of the season tonight, but Hubb won't be home until late, so I would end up getting drunk on hot brandy cider in front of the fire all by myself. Which wouldn't be entirely that bad, but not something I want to get in the habit of doing on a regular basis. It is a blessing that this week is so lame, I think I need some r&r in preparation for a week of my mom and my brother visiting for the holiday.

It is snowing and my nose is cold.

nonsense:

i have had a twitch on the lower lid of my right eye for three days. i haven't quite figured out what induces these things, these nervous stressed out ticks of mine, but there it is. it will probably go away sometime in january.

i've been a slacker, and, i admit, quite boring. nothing new. nothing of note. nothing fun. not exactly true, but i'm sticking with that excuse for not posting anything in some time. i have photos on my camera that deperately want to be transferred somewhere else...i just don't have the energy. i am at the computer all day long at work. the last thing i want to do when i get home is to-dos that make me sit at the desk. yep, pretty boring.

i'm excited at the upcoming winter months. i've pulled out the scarves and the knee high socks and stockings and even the boots. i'm totally ready except for the fact that i need a new cute coat. which will have to wait due to a suprise financial dilemma. but no worries.

my inlaws are coming tonight and i'm cooking them dinner. and we plan to drive to a cheese factory in wisconsin. and see the robey house. and visit a blues club. and hopefully relax a little bit this weekend. should be nice.

i got a new little moleskine datebook for 2006, and i've just finished transferring all of the birthdays, holidays and anniversaries that are meaningful to me. i love doing this silly little task because it makes me reflect on how lucky i am to have so many wonderful friends and family. and i love sending cards. it gives me reason to buy tons of stationary.

enough nonsense for now. maybe i'll post something of substance before another month goes by. maybe.

oooOOoooh...pretty

A girl can never have enough bags.

I am officially lazy. I tried to go to bed at 9 last night. I haven't uploaded any photos to flickr since July. I haven't cooked more than 1 or 2 decent meals in the last month. I've stopped reading, making jewelry, and even watching my beloved cooking shows. What HAVE I been doing? I have no idea. Working, I guess. And eating out. This needs to stop.

I got the BEST fortune last night with our thai food: "Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you." I tured to my left and smiled at the hubb. Yes indeed.

I found the BEST shoe site: solestruck.com. Cute cute cute. Though I'm once again on a shoe diet. On my birthday I bought a wonderful pair of exposed seam orange loafers. I'm really into orange everything right now. I want pumpkin colored sheets for my bed, orange serving dishes for Thanksgiving, orange pillows for the couch. Orange.

I'm preparing the menu for my first Thanksgiving in my own home. I think I'm serving only 6, which is a nice size for a practice Thanksgiving dinner. Here's what I have so far:

• pumpkin and butternut squash soup
• roasted turkey and homemade gravy
• ginger cranberry orange sauce
• apple sage stuffing
• roasted sweet potatoes with candied ginger
• garlic sage mashed potatoes
• sauteed kale with caramelized onions
• arugula, parmesan and cranberry salad with balsamic dressing
• ginger carrots
• a gingerale apple cider punch

For dessert I'm thinking either apple pie or pumpkin creme brulee. I'm leaning towards the creme brulee. Start and end the meal with pumpkin. Perfect.

Hubb treated me fabulously on my birthday this year, with a watch I desperately wanted, a tee shirt I didn't know I wanted, and a wallet I knew I needed but didn't know I'd love so much. Hubb is a wonderful gift giver, as is his little brother who sent me a delicious smoked salmon from Seattle. Best. Birthday. Ever.

Oh, and happy birthday to work in progress. Two years old on Sunday. Still a bit awkward, but surely growing into its own.

Nana's funeral was nice. Short and sweet, and funny and solemn and tearful, and full of love and life. It is hard to talk about this woman without cracking a joke. She was full of the piss and vinegar, misunderstandings and teasable situations that old age can bring. It was lovely to catch up with some family members I rarely get to see, and to meet others for the very first time. And to spend an entire weekend cuddling with my baby nephew Justin, pretending he was mine. Until his diaper needed to be changed. Then it was back to mom.

I also got to meet my mom's new boyfriend, who I adore already. He has the same name as my little brother, and he has a daughter named Emily. Bizarre.

My birthday is Sunday, and I'm starting my oh-my-gosh-I'm-another-year-older-and-what-have-I-accomplished-since-last-year train of thought. And it is better than last year. This year I've accomplished alot. And I'm happier than I was last year. And more secure in who I am and what I am becoming. I have a lot going for me and I finally feel right about it. Like I deserve it.

In year 25 I:
got a new job that I adore. began working with my husband, who I adore. gained a new little nephew, who I adore. got a little bit more out of debt. went carless and loved it. helped a friend get married. lost a nana. gained a new hobby in making jewelry. bought lots of shoes. found an incredible hair dresser and an even more incredible doctor. saw nyc for the first time ever. saw hawaii for the first time ever. supported a friend through a divorce. learned how to go to sleep when my husband isn't there. finally purchased a real, grown up couch. got an ipod. celebrated two wonderful years with the hubb. began painting again. realized that being happy is ok.

My step-mother's mother passed away early this morning. We've all known this was going to happen for quite a long time. I saw her two weekends ago, bedridden, skin and bones, mumbling, unable to eat, barely alive. She had moments of lucidity, however, beaming and incredibly happy when introduced to her new baby great-grandson two weeks ago; telling her daughter, fully aware of what was happening: "I'm dying, aren't I? But I'm OK with that, I've made peace, I can go now." and "I can go now because I've paid my bills." and "I don't know what He is waiting for, I'm ready to go now." and "I'll tell your dad you say hello. I can carry a message from earth to heaven. I like that."

Now she's gone.

So another trip to the east coast, another visit with my family who is still living. Another celebration of this 90+ year old woman's life. Stories of Nana. Like when she said, in her southern drawl, "Emily, I didn't know YOU were going to be here!" to me at my own wedding. And when she asked who my handsom boyfriend was when I showed up to her house with my little brother. And when she would drink a holiday liquor and fall asleep on the couch with the TV blaring away at the loudest possible level. And when she would put shrimp and ham and biscuits in a napkin to feed to her little pomeranian, CB, who Nana referred to as "him" even though the dog was a girl.

She passed in peace, on her own time, from only her own body's refusal to keep living. In her own home. Surrounded by her family. Cared for by her children and grandchildren. Exactly the way she wanted.

it has been busy, and i have been uninspired, at least in the words department. i spent the weekend with my family in the mountains of virginia, and i'm still recovering from the love and the food and the lack of sleep. i love my relatives. that's a nice feeling.

my cousins carey and laura are both pregnant, so we had a surprise baby shower. i gave them both little tiny virginia tech onesies and tiny hokie bird booties to celebrate our alma mater. i can't get over how little babies are. except for my new nephew on my step-family's side. he is a huge fat little two and a half month old man. i just wanted to shove him in my suitcase and bring him back to chicago with me, how cute he was in his little cable knit sweater vest and cargo shorts. which reminds me: i don't understand the purpose of pockets on baby clothes. do they need a place to put their wallets and keys and spare change?

my favorite verbal exchange of the weekend: (backstory: laura is pregnant. she has two kids, 5 year old jake and 3 year old grace. their aunt is also pregnant.)

grace: (looking at her mom and her aunt) "you don't have a baby."
emily: "no, you are right, i don't have a baby."
jake: (evaluating me with a furrowed brow) "yeah, you are WAY too thin."

this will leave me with smiles for weeks, i tell you. except that today while holding my coworker's 4 month old, i realized that i kind of want a baby. a little bit. sort of. but at least after a weekend of eating and drinking too much toddlers don't mistake me for being pregnant.

i am obsessed with little comfy ballet flats and mocassins right now. i'm working on wearing my bronx flats out:

and i'm thinking about something new now....or else the same shoes in tan:

i plan to spend some time this weekend taking pictures of the dozens of necklaces and earrings i've made over the past few weeks. i have way too many to do anything with, so i may end up trying to get a booth at one of the many chicago craft fairs to sell some of it. i ordered some new beads yesterday, some pearls, more agate, jasper and amazonite. i can't stop.

vows i've made in the past week:
1. to never book a 6:30 am flight again.
2. to drink more water.
3. to dress my children well.
4. to bring a flask and some sedatives next time i travel, just in case my flight is delayed THREE FREAKING HOURS.
5. to overreact less.

In addition to being best friends, roommates, lovers, husband and wife, and parents to our future children, (among all sorts of other things to each other), Hubb and I now face the challenge of becoming co-workers. My small (20) person company has hired my husband (we're now 21). He starts on the 17th.

1. I'm thrilled to have this chance to get to know him in a different way. A professional relationship to tack onto all of the other kinds of relationships we have.

2. This is a great step for Hubb's career. I'm very happy for him, and for my company. We're happy to have him join the team.

3. All of our eggs are in one basket. Although I'm feeling positive about everything else, this is going to take come mental massaging to work through.

Congratulations, Hubb!

I just received my most recent jewelry supply order. Pretty pretty natural agate, fancy jasper and black onyx. And some silver chain, and gorgeous ghostly white tube beads, and silver 2 mm rounds. I can't wait to go home and play.

10 Things

1. Francesca's Forno is amazing. Simple, delicious, fun, beautiful and amazing. If you haven't been yet, go now. The risotto is divine.

2. Puppets are incredibly cool. Puppeteers on Milwaukee Avenue on a Friday night, even more so. I wish more street performers included puppets. It is a quickly disappearing art.

3. Weird coincidence: Last weekend I tripped on Damen Avenue's inconsistent east sidewalk. While walking home from dinner Friday, I noted to Hubb"Hey, this is where I fell last weekend," at exactly the same moment that another unsuspecting (and perfectly sober) girl took a spill on the same piece of pavement. We were all a little shocked at the bizarre coincidence of it all. I told her the bruised would heal in about a week.

4. Allergies and sniffly sinus crap has got to go.

5. In the days before we know where our future lies for sure (can't talk about it now, maybe tomorrow. And no, I'm not pregnant.) I cook for some relaxation and comfort. Tapioca pudding, cornbread, pumpkin butternut squash soup, and the stuffing and apricot bourbon barbecue sauce for my southern stuffed chicken. I cut up so much pumpkin and squash that I gave myself a blister. It was worth it, though. And I hope my dinner guests tonight will agree.

6. La Creperie is delicious. It inspires me to make more thick flavorful sauces. And learn to speak French again. And wear little berets, full skirts, and striped sweaters.

7. I thought summer was over? WTF?

8. After more than a year, I am still in love with this simple graphic jewelry. (hint hint)

9. Spring vacation: Southwest USA, Spain, Australia, or....?

10. My new centerpiece for my dining room table:

Aardvarks are freaky

Like Star Wars suck your brain freaky. Just look at those fingers. They have fingers!

So...I hear that Chicago may be smoke free come Spring. I have four words to say about that: IT'S ABOUT F@$%ING TIME! Breathing! It's going to be fun again!

I just peeled and segmented three oranges and my hands smell heavenly. And it's Friday. And we have a busy busy wonderfully fun weekend planned. VIP party tonight. At least two different dinner dates, one of which I get to host which means using my china! And I got a new cute tee shirt last night. With a little bird on it. And I fit into my old favorite jeans today a little better than I did two weeks ago. And my bruised knees are rapidly healing. And I get to see my entire family next weekend: my dad, step-mom, brother, grandmother, great aunt, aunt (x2), uncle (x2), step-sister, step-brother-in-law, pregnant cousin (x2), cousin-in-law (x2), and second cousin (x2). Then I get to see my mom. Hurrah! Celebration and parties and fun and family. All is well in the land of emily.

Today is absolutely the best weather EVER! I love fall, the crisp, the cool, the sweaters, the knee high socks. It invigorates me and makes me want to take long walks in the evening and cuddle up by the fire with the Hubb and the kitties with a stomach warming shot of brandy. I am all orange and brown today. Comfortable and cozy, ready for the smell of leaves and pumpkin.

Speaking of pumpkin, Hubb and I are hosting a dinner party this Monday night, and I plan to make a yummy pumpkin and acorn squash soup. I have fresh sage that I've been dying to use, and now that soup season is finally here, I'm on it. Yay for pumpkin soup!

So I ran an errand for the Hubb last night, and in the process fell in love with a fabulous sexy red dress. I bought it with plans to wear it to Christmas parties, and maybe even a New Year's bash this year. I can't believe I'm already thinking about the holidays. But at least I'm going to look damn good.

Fashion, crafts, dancing and drinks sums up my weekend. Fabulous independent designer duds on Friday, a huge impressive representation of the Chicago (and more) craft scene on Saturday (before the rain), Cut Copy, Hot Chip, Fourtet, $2 PBRs and lots and lots of fun. Oh, and completely wiping out on the uneven sidewalk on Damen Avenue. Yep, I walked away with terribly bruised knees and bruised ego. I hadn't even had a drink yet.

Hot Chip is awesome and is pretty much my new favorite band. So much energy! Wee-ooo-wee-ooo keyboards, handclaps, harmonizing, drum machines and members that look like my friends and family (seriously, the drum machine guy looks sort of like my father in law.) Perfect.

So, it has been a stressful couple of weeks in my household, and the weekend was a perfect way to unwind and forget about life for a while. I'm looking forward to the unknown being known again . . . I hate being in limbo. And I love being vague.

Today = Perfect. For many reasons:

1. Perfect walk-to-work weather. Cool, but not cold. Sunny, but not hot.
2. Birthdays at work and The Best Birthday Cake Ever. Whole Foods Bakery is my absolute favorite.
3. Good hair day (the wave is behaving), good shoe day (cute pointy moccasins), good pants day (new jeans).
4. GenArt Shop CHICago event tonight. I don't feel I even need to explain my thrill about this one.
5. Busy busy busy. And a busy social calendar for the weekend. Fabulous.

I'm planning on sleeping VERY well this weekend, to make up for lost beauty rest over the last couple of weeks of my suddenly busy and anxiety-prone life. Suddenly...that's a lie, really. It's pretty much always been this way. I just refuse to believe it.

I sort of miss being in college; I miss my girlfriends, the naps in the middle of the day, the complete lack of "plans" except to spend time with the boy. Lounging and carefree and $210 a month rent and pizza at 2am with no worries of weight gain. sigh.

All summer long I've been in denial, wearing pants and sweaters to work, refusing to acknowledge that it is hot out. Now that it is almost October (can you believe it?!) I'm having trouble thinking about putting away the flipflops and packing up the swimsuits for another 9 months. Not that I swam at all this summer, but still...waking up in the dark is always the "wrong side of the bed" for me.

My feet are blistered and angry with me for wearing shoes today. I wear flip flops from the first signs of spring to the first signs of autumn, and today decided to try the confined footwear thing to get back into the swing of things. My feet need pampering in order to go through the seasons.

I am finally accepting the fact that life is full of drama. Period. Something is always happening to someone....babies are born, grandparents pass, people get new jobs and get married and there will always be a new pair of shoes to buy and a new restaurant to try. I tend to get stuck in this ridiculous idea that I have a calm group of family and friends, that I'm getting to a point in my life where things will remain the same, safe, normal. There is no such thing. And I am full of lies and hypocrisy.

I'm into the lists today...I'm not very busy.

What I'm currently into:

1. Matthew Herbert. Making music out of food = simply awesome. And in Hubb's words, Herbert's food-music is "a lot more accessible than I expected." If you're half the food freak I am, you'll be amazed. Promise.

2. These shoes, because they're cute, but not too cute:

3. This phone, because it is super sexy:

4. Drinking sake before bed.

5. Leeks.

Unimportant things I have noticed at my office:

The Studio:
1. If I wear a sweater, the office is inevitably warm. If I wear thin clothing, it will be cold.
2. If music is playing, I am happier than if it is not.
3. For having 20 people working in the same room, The Studio is surprisingly quiet.
4. I can't stop myself from eavesdropping, which makes me incredibly paranoid when making my own doctor's appointments and scheduling get-togethers with friends.

The Kitchen:
1. If there is food on the counter, it will be eaten.
2. If I want to save communal food for myself, all I have to do it place it at the back of the top shelf.
3. Quite a few people have no idea that they are allowed to place their coffee mugs in the dishwasher by themselves.
4. If I wear a white shirt, coffee will splatter on to my chest at some point throughout the day.

The Bathroom:
1. The light in the women's restroom is incredibly flattering, even on my most bloated and terrible hair days.
2. Two of the tiles in front of the left most stall come together to look like a giant penis.
3. The lock on the left most stall does not always close properly.
4. The left most stall is my stall of choice. Mostly because of the penis-tiles.

I love weddings. Almost as much as I love babies. And I'm getting two new baby cousins this coming spring! I have two pregnant cousins right now; sisters; due in March and April. I get to see them both next month at my family reunion. Lives, thay are a'changing. I love it!

Not much else going on. I have cramps. And I feel like it is still Monday.

Time is flying and I can't believe it is September already. I didn't even go to the beach. Not once. I'm a terrible Chicagoan.

Life has somehow slipped into a comfortable easy thing recently...which I suppose is actually a good thing. It is just difficult for me to get used to. I'm content and happy and settled. Life is good.

Sometimes I feel like a broken record.

One of my best girlfriends is getting married this Saturday, so I head out to Jersey for a whilrwind wedding weekend in a few days. I get to participate in the wedding as a bridesmaid (or matron, I guess would be more appropriate.) I am thrilled and excited and so so happy for her and her beau. I have never known them well as a couple, because they started dating after I left college, and then the groom-to-be nearly started a fist fight at my wedding defending the honor of his soon-to-be-bride, but I've gotten to know him since then and have absolutely fallen in love with him. Slicing me a plate full of tuna sashimi that you caught yourself is a surefire way to win my heart. Congratulations Lin and Glenn!

Exciting changes for hubb and I may be in store for the near future, so for the fear of a jinx I keep my mouth shut and my fingers crossed for everything to turn out they way we hope. And you should too.

Thanks.

685 miles of driving + fried cheese curds + Lakefront brewery tour + meeting up with friends across state lines even though they live blocks away from us + Motel 6 + the coolest t-shirt ever + wine and cheese + the hardest bar to find in Milwaukee = a damned good Labor Day get away.

Hubb and I dubbed our trip "Come on, get out of Illinoise". It was spectacular. I'm not generally strong on spontaneity, but this weekend I enjoyed every wonderful minute of it. We drove all the way up Sheridan Road from Chicago to Milwaukee, watching the scenery change from downtown to upscale suburb to tiny hole in the wall town to hip neighborhood to downtown again. It was an incredibly interesting social experience, watching one road change so drastically up the lakeshore. We definitely got our unlimited miles out of the rental car. Money incredibly well spent.

Once back we attended not one, but TWO! Labor Day weekend bbqs, ate a lot, drank a lot, and relaxed and enjoyed the fact that we had Monday off work. Now it is back to the ratrace, with quite possibly the busiest week I've had in a very very long time. (not obvious by the fact that I'm posting today...)

And today, as I wear my totally awesome souvenir from my trip (a pale green t-shirt with dollar signs screened on the inside, so they ever-so-subtly show through), I get a bonus! My first ever bonus! It's been a great month so far.

So, my step-brother-in-law was bitten by a rattle snake on Sunday, and nearly died. He was finally sent home from the hospital today, but for a while we didn't know if he was going to live, die, end up permanently brain damaged or lose his arm. He'll be fine, we think, but not until after 4-5 weeks of intense pain and sickness, a result of an incredibly lethal dose of rattle snake venom and three bags of anti-venom. Right now we're just happy he's alive.

He and his wife (my step-sister) just had a baby two months ago.

Life is fragile, people. A lesson which has been bored into my head this week with the incredibly sadness and tragedy Katrina has left behind and the near loss of a family member.

My boy, my baby, my love, my puppy, my Booper, my Chester-bester boy. He may not be around much longer. News broken to me by my dad while I am at work. I cried. I looked up plane ticket prices. I cried some more. Even if you can't wait until I'm home in October, I'll be there, Chester. I need to say goodbye to you. You'll always be my boy. I love you, Booper.

It is one of those days that never ends, when you have something to look forward to (Star Wars, yay!) and nothing to keep you busy until it begins. I am spending my time daydreaming: earrings to make, books to read, unwatched CSI episodes, imagining myself as a student at Kendall College...our visit Saturday has left me in complete awe and envy. Now I REALLY want to go to school there, I want to fondle the fryers, stroke the marble pastry countertops, poke around the walk in fridges. I want to cook in one of the teaching kitchens just once, prepare one meal on the gorgeous state of the art 8-burner ranges. I want to spend my time with hundreds of passionate chefs-to-be, learn how to make a good souffle, watch someone mold fondant. I want access to unlimited resources and ingredients, an insiders knowledge to every meal I eat out, a justified snobbiness from years of education and experience. But at over a $200k price tag, maybe I'll just keep teaching myself...learning by doing. After viewing the facilities at Kendall, I have designed my dream kitchen in my head. At least I have that.

Seriously, the spice lecture was fascinating, and if you ever get a chance to visit the Spice House or go to one of their lectures, take it! Tom and Patty are both hilarious and knowledgeable, and incredibly entertaining. They told us many things that I already knew, but much much more that I didn't. They also inspired me to completely clean out my spice and herb cabinet and spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on fresh ones.

I went shopping last night; 8 stores, 5 purchases, 4 espresso mugs, 1 coffee mug, 1 pair of jeans, a pair of earrings and a jacket, and one purchase for the kitchen at work. Success. Pending Hubb's opinion I may return the jacket, a funky white blazer with big brown buttons, but I really like it, so I'll probably end up keeping it. I can't wait for Fall.

I bought a new pair of jeans to help manage my increasing sensitivity to the size of my ass...I'm taking a medication that has helped me to gain 5 pounds in the past few weeks. For petite little me, that's a pound a foot! Not fun. Now, I'm not incredibly abnormal, but I have never been able to find a high end pair of jeans that fit me correctly. I guess that's because they're all made for tall skinny women, and I don't fit into that category so much. I went out last night fully intent on spending upwards of $100 on some quality denim, and ended up buying a perfect pair of jeans for $19.99. In the past year, all of the best pants I've owned have been under $50. I'd love to wear Chip & Pepper, Citizens of Humanity, Seven, Joes and Paper Denim Cloth, but they honestly don't fit my body type. I guess I'll just have to spend the other $100 on other things. Like beads. And shoes.

The weekend is looking promising, with a housewarming with friends, a tour of Kendall College (yay!) and some rest and relaxation. I may finally get a nice romantic date with the Hubb tonight, a rooftop grilling and some movie-time cuddling. Or some sushi. It's been too long, sashimi.

I wish I had a bottle of sake at work.

Ok, ok, so I know it is only August, but I am already having a winter shoe dilemma. I now work in an extremely casual, comfortable environment, so my past pointy high heeled winter boots aren't going to be as appropriate this year. I'm searching for something funky, fun, slightly dressy and warm for this year's fashion, and so far I'm drawn to these three:

Yes, they are all the same brand, and yes, they would be black. I can't decide. Even though I have two to three months to do so.

I just realized that I have been wearing strictly flip flops for almost 6 weeks straight.

Yay, shoes are back at work in progress!

So I broke down and wore my swimsuit (nearly naked!) in front of my coworkers over the weekend at The Office Barbecue. It took some convincing, but I did it. And I swam in a lake. And went for a boat ride. And saw a turtle. And didn't mind getting rained on because I was already wet with lake. I miss nature.

I also hung out with kids and ate delicious foods and drank a little too much too early in the day. But it was fun and rewarding and a huge relief because it was I who planned the event. I feel like I accomplished something grand and magnificent and made 25 other people's lives that much richer and fuller. But it was just a barbecue. In Indiana.

I pull out my tackle box of beads and wire nearly every night now, and have at least a dozen pairs of earrings and a few necklaces to show for it. And the ideas keep coming. It is incredibly relaxing to have something productive to do in the evenings. As opposed to cooking, which is consumed and gone in a matter of minutes, making things that will be there tomorrow gives me a sense of something heavy and solid. I guess that's why I like to cook in big batches. Leftovers. A reminder of the time and energy involved.

Hubb and I received out first box of organic veggies from our Angelic Organics share this weekend, and are left with quite a few veggies to cook this week. We have some mixed greens, eggplant, basil, dill, kale, fennel, carrots, cucumber, tomatoes, corn and garlic. I made eggplant parm last night, with my own tomato sauce. It always feels good to eat homemade. I will learn to use fennel later this week. That's one of the perks, at least in my eyes, to the veggie box: I will need to learn how to cook a few new things. I'm absolutely thrilled about that opportunity. And the fact that until Christmas I'll have plenty of fresh produce around.

Heirloom tomatoes and carrots with the tops on make me happy.

I am almost over the shock of The Best Bachelorette Party Ever, and my eyes are still adjusting from the mayhem and outrageous debauchery they witnessed. They hurt a little. Incredible fun was had by all, and I think I may have seen more boobs than weenies...which says something about the friends I have. I miss them terribly sometimes. And I get to see them again in a month! Woo! More boobs! And a wedding! Yay! Three cheers for matrimony and gratuitous nudity!

I'm wearing a pair of matching earrings and a necklace that I made with the beautiful amber and yellow jade beads I bought a few weeks ago. I am a nerd and I like to match. I also just purchased some pretty jade, jasper and aventurine beads today. I like the word aventurine. It makes me think that when I make that pretty green necklace I will be filled with an insatiable urge to try some new wild and crazy thing. I've been totally bitten by the bead bug. I really like pretty heavy things.

I had a wonderful experience last week meeting and falling in love with (for my hair's sake) a new hairdresser. I finally received a good haircut in Chicago! Yay! I did not go home and cry, as I have been known to do after every haircut I've had in the past three years, but instead went home and jumped up and down and flipped my hair in the mirror and giggled and had a glass of wine in celebration. I finally found someone who understands curly wavy frizzy locks such as mine and I absolutely love him for it. In between calling everything "bitches" and discussing The Cure and other bands we both have loved for years, he raved about my "curly as shit" hair, and how he thinks my look is a great one. Nice. I very much enjoyed the ego stroking. And the haircut. I can't even communicate how thrilled I am. I am slightly obsessed with my hair, if you haven't already figured that out. Woo! Hair!

And now to drastically change the mood: I had two incredibly vivid apocalyptic dreams last night, which sort of freaked me out. In one I was driving with my mom down the highway somewhere, when out of nowhere all of these grey WWI-style airplanes and helicopters started coming out of the sky and crashing into the traffic. I knew right away it was the end of the world, and I immediately prayed that one would hit our car so that I would die instantly rather than live through the intense horror of Armageddon. As if it heard my thoughts, a plane headed straight toward me and I dreamed that I died. The pain was real and intense, and as I knew it was only a second or two, it felt like an hour before I thought to myself, "And...I die..." in a Shakespeare inspired fashion. It was very strange and I am deeply disturbed by the possible meanings. I'm not depressed, much less suicidal... I am not quite sure where this thing came from.

In the other apocalyptic nightmare I was in a city with lots of churches, big heavy stone churches with iron gates. There were dinosaur-like creatures, huge and looming, tearing through the city and I was trying to convince someone (Hubb?) that we had to get to the outer edges of the city and hide in the basement of one of the old churches. The whole dream was a struggle trying to convince this person to go with me, but for some reason they didn't want to leave the center of the city. Meanwhile the monster things were getting closer and closer, and I imagined our doom as the buildings around us began to crumble. This one probably has to do with recent conversations between Hubb and I about moving to the suburbs someday, his violent opposition to the idea, and my openness to it.

What is freaking me out the most is the incredibly vivid quality of both dreams. I've never dreamed like that before. I'm curious to see if this vividness transfers to good dreams as well.

So I've found a few fantastic sites for beads and jewelry supplies, and I've taken the plunge and placed a few orders. That, combined with a trip to Pearl, will begin a new chapter in my crafting experience. I'm thrilled to begin creating my own earrings and necklaces, and plan to make a multitude of gifts for every woman in my life. I don't think I'll even try to break into the money-making side of this new venture; Chicago has enough jewelry crafts-persons as it is. It's just that I always want what's not out there ... and I get such a good feeling out of saying "Oh, thank you. I made it myself!" I'll post my progress. I've ordered some gorgeous yellow jade, aventurine, amazonite and ambronite beads, enough earring hooks, hoops, wire and pins to last a decade, and the tools to manipulate it all. After spending what I have on supplies, I sure hope this isn't one of those fleeting interests of mine. But I'm incredibly excited, and have tons of ideas that I can't wait to execute.

This weekend I head to Atlantic City for a bachelorette party with my college girlfriends. I can't wait to have some quality girl time of drinking, playing dirty party games, teasing the bachelorette about the imagined perils of married life, and having lingerie-clad pillowfights. I miss girl time. I was kidding about the pillowfights, by the way.

I'm finally relaxing and getting used to this summer heat and humidity. I've grown accustom the thin film of sweat that consistently envelops my skin, the slow and sleepy way in which I walk to and from the bus and the train, and the sauna that my apartment has turned into. It is sort of refreshing sweating all the time. I feel cleansed and healthy. Sweat. Sweat is good.

Too much information to follow. I'm feeling personal and I don't mind sharing.

Why is it that whenever I am just starting to feel settled, happy, content and final things get all fucked up again? Hormones, weight, relationships, emotional health, energy level, my bank account...why can't these things just STAY THE SAME FOREVER? No ups and downs, no roller coasters of happiness and sorrow...just one straight line from here to eternity. Wouldn't that be swell? And seriously unrealistic? Yeah. Shopping isn't even helping. Blah.

So, I feel all kinds of high-school girlish, being all emotional and grumpy and crampy. I used to get cramps so bad in high school that I would stay home from school for days at a time curled into a ball taking serious prescription pain killers more often than prescribed. As I matured they went away, but suddenly, without notice they are back. Not as bad, but getting there...

I still love my new job, quite a bit, actually. I'm feeling terrific about my position, comfortable and settled and like I belong here. I'm planning our company picnic in two weeks, which is giving me a serious dose of organizational comfort.

I'm not really as down as I sound, so no worries, my friends. I'm just going through my quarterly frump. I'm pretty predictable. And help is on the way... in the form of new hormone help, an upcoming bachelorette party in Atlantic City with my college girlfriends, and possible a visit to my favorite restaurant for a comforting mojito and some cuban cuisine.

My ipod battery is dying. Just another kick to the broken ribs of my emotional state. Blah.

You know how when you're on vacation or you have guests and you eat out a whole bunch, ingesting tons of unhealthy and large portions of food that you wouldn't normally eat, and drink lots more beer than you would normally drink? And then it is super hard to break the habit because once you've started eating fries and tacos and two dinners a night you sort of get used to it and you keep craving it? And then you eat your "healthy" lunch at 10am at work and are starving for the rest of the day and eat anything and everything in your sight, wishing all the time that you just had an entire pizza to rub all over your face? Yeah? That's me today.

So I spent all sticky nasty hot weekend outdoors at the Intonation fest, and I must say, the festival just may have been the epitome of outdoor festivals. Except for the unemptied porta-potties. And the insufficient food vendors. And the dust. Otherwise it was fantastic. And whoever had the idea to add Depart-ment to the fest...pure genius. Shopping! Music! People watching! Sweating! I got a fabulous pair of earrings, a wonderful necklace, and a killer cute t-shirt. I love to support the indie crafters. Speaking of which: The Chicago Craft Mafia is having the Summer Shakedown this Friday. Everyone should come and buy some wonderful fabulous items. Do it.

I finally posted a few pictures in my flickr account...and went against everything I believed about keeping myself anonymous and put up a few pictures of myself. So there I am. Although, probably 99% of the people who read this know exactly what I look like anyway...

This one is my favorite: walking west on Chicago avenue to the Black Beetle the other night, we passed this guitar store/restaurant. The best part was the gravy sandwich. If they were open I would have gone in, sat at the counter and ordered one just to see what the deal is. I mean, for $0.89, why not?

I mangled my feet "breaking in" a pair of shoes at a wedding three weeks ago, and have been sentenced to flip flops while they have been healing. Now that they are as good as new, I can finally wear closed-toed shoes again! Yay!

I saw a girl on the train today with the cutest t-shirt, and not an hour after I get to work I have one being shipped to me as well. I love the internet.

I also love cooking mexican-style rice, now that I've finally learned how to! Yay for me! I made a big old batch last night, and have eaten it for both dinner and breakfast. If I wasn't going to lunch with some coworkers today, I'd be eating it a third time in a row as well. Peas and corn and tomato and yum.

I might give up on posting photos soon. I'm just too lazy.

I'm researching caterers for work, and have been thoroughly entertained at the incorrect grammar, terrible punctuation and creative verbiage used in descriptions. By "olive oil poached" do you mean fried?

I am also entertained by the dozens of ideas for new recipes running through my head. Roast chicken with apple and grape stuffing. Oh my!

I'm a little bummed today because I don't get summer hours tomorrow. I don't think I've mentioned that before; it is one of the wonderful perks of my new job. There are many wonderful perks of my new job. Many reasons why you should be jealous. Here are the top 5 reasons I love my job:

1. A two thousand dollar coffee machine in our kitchen that grinds and brews per cup. My coffee consumption has gone up considerably in the past three weeks. Whoo!
2. Summer hours! Whoo! 1:00 Friday and I'm home on the roof. Except this week, of course.
3. 100% paid health and dental premium. Whoo!
4. Fruit, sparkling water and Diet Coke always on hand. Ahhh.
5. Flip flops! Jeans! T-shirts! At work! I wore a skirt today and had four comments on how "nice" I was dressed. Dude, I'm wearing flip flops. I don't think they'd recognize me if I wore a suit.

However, I am still getting used to a couple of things here, as working at a small creative company is MUCH different than working for a large educational institution. I'm still adjusting, but it is going quite well. Change is great.

Next post I promise to get off the job topic. And pictures? Soon!!

Ok, so I've been away and slacking and boring here, but I'm alive and well and my brain is overflowing because I haven't put anything down in writing in a very long time. I seem to have forgotten how to break up a run on sentence as well. I have a ton of pictures to upload, send to friends, share...I'm just so busy and preoccupied with everything else to take the time to do it. But that's ok, because I'm keeping busy.

Lately I've been feeling more and more settled, more and more real, if that makes sense. I'm feeling like I've actually become emily, and am not always waiting for the next change. Things are falling into place and solidifying, and I really really like it that way. I feel correct, in tune, real. You know?

I am thoroughly enjoying the summer, with skirts and my big pink sunglasses and three different sets of tan lines. Laying on the deck for an hour is my new all time favorite weekend activity. I look a lot healthier with a tan. I'm gearing up for visitors (as always), fairs, festivals, and music. I know I keep harping on this, but I'm incredibly happy. Things are just going perfectly. This very well may be the very best summer of my life. Wow. That feels great to be able to say. *sigh*

I wrote this nearly a month ago, after a visit from some college friends. Considering food is one of my all time favorite topics, I don't know why I saved it as a draft for so long, but here it is nonetheless:

What is it about having guests in town that make me overeat like crazy? I am a planner, and have a phobia about starving to death, so I always plan my weekends with visitors around the food we will eat and the places we will eat it. We wanted to show our guests all of the delicious eateries that our neighborhood has to offer, and a few homemade meals to boot.

I got a recipe from a magazine my boss brought in for Southern Stuffed Chicken with Apricot Rum BBQ Sauce, and I (as always) altered it to fit the ingredients I had and the skills I thought I could master. The original recipe called for chicken hindquarters, the thigh of which was to be deboned and pounded thin for stuffing while still attached to the leg. This didn't look too bad, but it seemed like an awful lot of food for one person, so I opted for boneless skinless chicken breasts and thighs instead. The stuffing was a combination of greens (I used mustard greens), bacon, fresh corn, jalapeno, cayenne pepper, onion and crumbled cornbread. I have some left over which I plan to eat straight out of the tupperware. It also called for red bell pepper, but I left that part out. The BBQ sauce was onion, ginger, garlic, apricot preserves, and I substituted brandy for the dark rum. It was really sweet, but complimented the spicy stuffing perfectly. I pounded the chicken thin, stuffed it, tied it up and grilled away. The sauce was basted on right at the end of cooking, so it wouldn't burn. We served it with fresh grilled corn on the cob and my brussel sprouts, halved and sauteed with bacon. I kept patting myself on the back for this one...it turned out pretty damned good if I do say so myself. If you want the full recipe, let me know. (although I seem to have summed it up pretty well right here.)

We had a terrific weekend, with music, food, art and lots of walking. I always enjoy having visitors, especially ones we don't have a chance to spend time with all that often.

I'm in a whirlwind. And I love it. I love my new job, I love the fact that I've been inspired to begin painting again, and I love that crafty ideas are running all through my thick skull. I love that I work in a warm and inviting and comfortable environment where people eat cereal out of real bowls at their desks in the morning. I love that my boss has a toddler son who comes to the office and who has told me that he loves me, that he likes my curly hair, and that he wants me to stay here forever. I love that I have things in common with people. I love that I've found my element. It is nice.

So in the past week I've made two paintings/collages and I promise to take some photos soon. Two pieces of art! More on that later.

I'm just happy. Things are good.

I've been terribly slacking in the photo department, but I hope that that change of scenery that my new job will bring will freshen my perspective and open my eyes. A day and a half left of my old job, and it looks like I will end up quietly slipping out. Which is fine.

Friday I am officially unemployed, and plan to paint my toenails, drink wine on the roof, and get a haircut. Pampering and relaxing for emily day. I absolutely can't wait. We're getting a new patio table and chairs tonight so we have something decent to eat our summer dinners on. And somewhere to place our wine when we're relaxing on our day off.

I've been decidedly less shoppy lately, as I discovered that I am transitioning from bi-weekly to monthly paychecks. This means that I may not get my first paycheck for 6 weeks. That may put a cramp in the bill paying situation.

My lunch date is late and I'm starving. Eh.

I have guests in town, and am barely surviving off a week of 5 hours of sleep per night. My usual 7 to 8 are not in the cards right now, and my body is definitely suffering. My lack of rest got in the way of my feet this morning on the steps up to the train as I tripped over my toenails, half ripping my left big toenail off my foot. It was a spectacular performance. I barely even broke my stride. Once I got to the office and assessed the damage, I craftily used some white-out tape to repair the rip and simulate the french pedicure I had so carefully labored over not once, but twice this week. You can barely tell. I am such an artist. And a priss.

I've been obsessed with phobias lately, and for some time have been working on a list of things I am afraid of. After finishing Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, I am also obsessed with alphabetical lists, hence the following alphabetical list of my fears.

A
alone, being

accidentally falling down

airplane landings

B
blood

birth, giving

breaking bones

C
car accidents

cutting myself

choking in a restaurant

computers crashing

D
death

dogs of very very large stature

E

earthquakes

everyone seeing me fall down

embarrassing myself in front of a lot of people

F
falling down

foot, breaking my

forgetting how to cook

food poisoning

falling out, the diamond in my engagement ring

G

giant spiders

grates in the sidewalk

H
horse hooves, being trampled by

heights (a little bit)

I
injections

ice skating on natural ice (not in a rink)

J
jinxing things

K

kids, ending up with bad

L
losing my mind

losing loved ones

losing my hair

M
mind readers

maxing out my credit card

N
needles

naked people, crazy

O
overestimating my own ability

operations, surgical

P

peeing my pants

putting my foot in my mouth

passing out at an inopportune time

Q
quantities of blood, losing large

R
rejection

realizing it's all just a dream

S
stairs, falling down

severing a finger

spilling drinks on people

spiders with long hairy legs

T
tripping (...and consequently falling)

trust broken, having my

U
upside-down, being trapped

underwear, not having enough clean

V
vehicle maintenance, the cost of

W
weighing much more than I should

writer's block

X
????

Y
young republicans

Z
zoot suit riot, a

zombies

Oh my god it's summer and I couldn't be more thrilled. Well, I probably could be a little bit more thrilled, say, if I won the lottery and my dog cured himself of Addison's disease, and I didn't have blisters on my left foot. I would be a little more thrilled then. But I'm thrilled all the same.

Summer has made my apartment quite uncomfortably oven-like, which made me wish 1) it was still spring. We didn't seem to have a sufficient spring this year, and that sucks. 2) I had short hair. The wave is obnoxiously warm. 3) I had central air conditioning. We have some window units, but they are heavy and I am very very busy. And I like to complain. 4) I could take frozen margaritas with me everywhere I went.

Hubb and I visited an antique sale on Friday and came home with a beautiful antique pressed tin ceiling tile that now graces the freshly painted space above my couch. It is a beautiful organgey-pinky-rusty-tinny gorgeousness, and I honestly don't know how I ever lived without it. I'll take a picture soon. My house now feels complete, more complete than I ever thought it would feel. It's amazing how adding a few pieces of art on the wall can make you feel at home. I really need to get started on my canvas.

Last night I received another Poise creation, an altered Lacey Clutch with pretty pink lining and proportioned just right for my petite frame. It is perfect and I love Cinnamon for being so talented and wonderful and for being my own personal purse-maker. I have a secret plan to have her perpetually working on something for me. I hope she doesn't mind. Having Cinnamon make a purse specifically for me is way better than shopping for one, hands down.

Dear Hubb,

Thank you for dealing with my bullshit, letting me be a control freak, eating anything I put in front of you, and for letting me display those rooster plates that I know you secretly hate. And thank you for sticking up for me and for pushing me to do what I really want to do, and for letting me get those red pointy shoes. I really love those shoes. And thank you for not making me feel stupid and slothy when I watch four episodes of Law and Order in a row.

And thank you for not being jealous, and for giving me a thumbs up and a pat on the back when I think I deserve it, even when you don't agree. And for letting me gloat. And for not getting upset when I point out that I am better at something than you are. I can't help it. Thank you for being better than me at the things I don't want to do anyway.

And thank you for the good times and the bad, the sickness and the health, the richer and the poorer. And for really meaning it when you said "always and forever."

Thank you for taking me out to dinner this Friday. I would like to try some place new.

I forgive you for that one time you called me by your mother's dog's name. And the other time that you told me that I didn't "need" ice cream. At the time I really didn't "need" it.

I love you.

Always and forever,
em

I am on the cusp of a new and exciting me...I think it's safe and unjinxable at this point to announce that I will be starting a new job later this month. I've finally broken into the creative world and will be working for an innovative and rapidly growing design firm. I'm leaving corporate political institutional employment behind and am taking on the exciting and intimate world of a small firm. I am thrilled beyond words, and have been on edge for nearly a month during interviews, lunches, negotiations and contracts. (Negotiations. I feel like a terrorist.) (deleted)

As the excitement builds and I sit and daydream about my new opportunity, I absolutely can't wait to start. And wear flip flops to work again. And jeans. And have "summer hours" and work with people who are passionate and energetic and creative. Oh my god!

My parents were in for the Memorial Day weekend, and we had an amazingly fun time. I realize how much I miss my family every time we part. I am such a daddy's girl.

A silly little additional excitement about my new employment is that my route to work won't change much; I'll just be getting off and on the bus closer to home. So I still get to walk down Damen Avenue to Chicago to catch the bus, past a coffee shop that promises to be "coming soon!". I am excited to have a coffee shop located directly along my route, but the name is giving me second thoughts about becoming a patron. "Barista Coffee House." Now isn't that ironic and redundant and just about the stupidest name for a coffee shop, ever? I bet the same marketing genius can come up with great names like "Chef Restaurant", "Hair Stylist Salon", "Surgeon Hospital", and "Surly Cashier Bargain Store." I just feel like they could have been a tiny bit more creative and inventive to come up with a name that is a little less forgettable.

Hubb and I spent our day off work on our deck, enjoying the sun and the clear sky, and partaking in the very first grilled meal of the season. It was phenomenal. I haven't eaten a steak in who knows how long, and I had forgotten how incredibly delicious grilled corn on the cob can be. I made my special butter blend, asparagus and spring onion bundles, and we even purchased a brand new tablecloth for the event.

What with the new job on the horizon, the sun outside, and the sleep deprivation of the last month, I am having incredible trouble paying attention to anything at work this morning.

Dearest Phone Call (I feel that we are so intimately close now...may I call you Phone Call?),

You tested me and teased me, not arriving until oh so late, but like the reliable and wonderful thing that you are, you came through in the end. I am sorry I ever doubted your loyalty to me. And I'm sorry I called you a bitch.

You totally made my day, Phone Call. I owe you a drink.

Love,
emily

P.S. - Would you mind telling The E-mail That I am Desperately Waiting For to hurry her little electronic ass up so I can get on with the wonderful changes that are in store for me? Thanks. Love ya.

I'm a big fan of the open letter concept. Whenever I 'm feeling like a giggle and a laugh, and have a couple of minutes to spare, I meander over to McSweeney's. The concept of writing a letter to unknowing people, places, and things just tickles me pink. I've been known to take a stab at it, at this very site, talking to my future neighborhood, an ex boyfriend...and I have at least a dozen open letter drafts saved for other times. Ramsin of GB really made my day with the most recent Revenge. Open letters are fun fun fun.

So without further adieu, Open Letter to the Phone Call I'm Desperately Waiting For:

Dear Phone Call I'm Desperately Waiting For,

I want you. I need you. I am lost without you. I want nothing more than to be with you, right now, alone, with a glass of champagne and a smile on my face. I would give anything to hear your sweet yet slightly annoying ring in my ears, to feel the cool beige handset of hope against my head, to hear the words I so desperately yearn for. You've been a long time coming, Phone Call I'm Desperately Waiting For, and I am tickled with anticipation for your arrival. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even explain to you how impossible it is to keep my cool. And wait. We all know I hate waiting, yet you continue to leave me sitting with no word...wait a minute, is this a test? To see if and when I will break down and cry? To see if I will go stark raving mad? To see if I will break all of the unspoken rules and do something inappropriate? Well, screw you, then, Phone Call I'm Desperately Waiting For. Screw. You.

What's that? The phone is ringing, oh my god it could be you I might throw up my hands are shaking I can't believe it holy crap I am so nervous and excited!

It wasn't you, as I'm sure you are aware. I bet you set that guy up to call me, just to trick me into getting all adrenaline-rushed and dry-mouthed and stuttery. Did you know that I ate at least 5000 calories yesterday, in an attempt to ease the tension in my stomach? Yeah, you're right. It didn't work. I only feel fat and bloated and even more uncomfortable today because of it. You are a tricky little bitch, Phone Call I'm Desperately Waiting For. You are making me turn on my own body, making me reevaluate my worth, stress over whether you have the correct phone number, if you ever made it into a calendar or a to-do list, if you were lost in the busy comings and goings of daily office life. I hope you weren't.

I forgive you for making me wait, my dearest Phone Call I'm Desperately Waiting For. More honestly, I WILL forgive you if you arrive soon. But if you wait until 6:00 this evening, I might slit my wrists in agony and self-justified imagined defeat. Not really, but I might end up with an ulcer by then, and I might eat the huge box of Mrs. Field's cookies sitting on our small conference table, conveniently located right in front of my desk. They look disgustingly greasy and fat laden to me now, but I may be hopelessly lacking in the self esteem and self restraint departments by the end of the day. So it's up to you, Phone Call I'm Desperately Waiting For, to save me from myself. I'm here, waiting. For you.

Love always (unless I don't hear from you soon),

emily

As I play the waiting game to see what my future will hold, I am feeling rather listy. So here it goes.

Things I hate yet secretly love anyway just because they give me something to complain about:
1. Waiting for things. Important lovely incredibly exciting things in particular.
2. Being consistently 5 pounds over my goal weight.
3. Being tired.

Things I am afraid of, in theory; I don't really know how afraid I actually am because I've never been faced with any of them:
1. Killer bees.
2. Being mauled by a bear.
3. Tumbling head-first down the stairs to my building at the start of a weekend when coincidentally all of my neighbors are out of town, to lay limp and broken with no hope of being found before tragically dying of thirst.
4. Being fired from a job because of too much solitaire and pop&drop playing.
5. Giving birth.

My favorite song of the moment:
"Sunshowers" by M.I.A.. I think I listened to it 7 times on the bus this morning.

Reasons I could never run for president:
1. I was bad in high school. Real bad.
2. I get flustered when given too much responsibility.
3. I have no desire to live in DC.
4. I tend to take things a little bit too personally.

Things that irritate me:
1. Ignorance.
2. The Vast Unknown.
3. Loud background music when I'm trying to sleep, work, watch CSI, read, or take a bath.
4. Movies with indecipherable dialogue.
5. The strap on that one black bra that I still insist on wearing because it was expensive and of good quality.

Things I'd rather be doing right now:
1. Not waiting.
2. Sewing a tote bag.
3. Making jewelry.
4. Watching CSI.
5. Sleeping.
6. Jogging. Yes, jogging.
7. Drinking a glass of wine while cooking a delicious meal for 10.
8. Kissing.
9. Finishing my book.
10. Shopping. Always with the shopping.

Things worth waiting for:
1. Fame.
2. Fortune.
3. Children.
4. A really delicious meal.
5. Fine wine.
6. Marriage.
7. A fantastic employment opportunity.
8. Heaven. (If you believe in that stuff.)
9. The PERFECT pair of shoes.
10. Surprises.

I survived a week of poo and ick and awful terribleness...just barely at least. Each day felt like a never-ending Monday of the worst day of my life, if that makes sense. But it's over and the weekend was a strange combination of stressful and calming, with jewelry making and bridal showering and makeuping and eating and trying to sleep amid the party (that I was not invited to) going on in my backyard. Tomorrow will be a big day for me, no matter what the outcome. Change will be in my immediate future, and either way I think I'm ready to cope. I've had a lot of time to think and sort and imagine and dream and wonder about all kinds of options and opportunities and I'm feeling pretty good about the possibilities. Much better than the pit-of-despair mood I was in this morning, anyway, but that's not saying a whole lot.

I made the most beautiful huge jade and red seed bead necklace on Saturday at one of those make-your-own jewelry studios near my house. It was tons of fun, and I want to go back and make more and more and more. There are a plethora of jewelry artists and craftspersons in this city, but I'm feeling rather crafty and am itching to purchase some supplies and work on some pieces myself at home. I might just do it, but stick to making gifts for friends and family rather than trying to sell anything. It was highly therapeutic, stringing beads. If nothing else I'll end up with a fabulously colorful jewelry collection. That wouldn't be so bad.

I have this annoying proximity issue; I absolutely can't handle when something desirable is out of my reach, and I all too easily discount anything and everything within my grasp. Food: I always crave the foods I can't find. If I were in Rome I would probably be searching for a thai place. Clothes: I always want exactly the items that are sold out in my size. People: I have intense desires to spend time with the people farthest away from me. This issue works its power on me both ways; with all the food at my disposal, snacks in my drawer at work, meals waiting to happen in my cabinets, I am never satiated. After finally discovering petite sized clothes and filling my closets chock full of jeans and black tops, I don't want to wear any of it. With friends and acquaintances constantly trying to plan dates, I just want to stay home alone with CSI.

When stressed, I have an annoying physical tick of letting my mouth move just a split second faster than my brain. I can go entire days without speaking coherently. Today is one of those days. My boss actually asked if I needed to go home and sober up. If it were possible to eat a taco and drink a glass of water to dilute the intoxicating stress of life, I would totally do it every night.

I worked 12 hours yesterday. I will do so again starting tomorrow and ending Friday. I still have an hourly job (yay for me) so I get overtime, but it is still daunting to think about it. I already feel like it is Friday, I'm that pooped. I guess I should count my blessings, and my paycheck. It might not be much longer that I'll be paid for each hour worked over 40. Hmmm...

I'm finding myself retreating and shrinking, pulling in to myself and ignoring everything around me. I'm working hard and holding in. I am a time bomb. I don't remember a time when I didn't want to share what I was feeling. When I didn't care to talk about it, didn't want to discuss it, didn't need reassurances and consolation. It's happening right now and I'm not accustomed to it. It is a new feeling, this internalizing. I'm not quite sure how to handle it.

So I create a vague and mysterious blog post. It somehow makes me feel a little better.

It's only 9am and my day has already been made. Special thanks to the following:

- Dad riding bike to work, wearing a suit and with his leather suitcase on the handlebars. An 8 - 10 year old girl riding behind dad, hugging him, pink backpack on her back. Dropping her off at school, I imagine. I am still smiling about the scene.

- Pheonix. Alphabetical. Perfect morning music for a perfectly optimistic perfect weather day.

- (related) Sun. Forcasted 70 degree high. Perfect.

- Orange loafers and short pants. I'm all about the black and white with a splash of bright color these days. And orange, which used to be my least favorite color of all time. I am strangely drawn to it recently. It makes me happy and calm.

- Good hair. Really really good hair.

- Still giddy about the phone interview I had yesterday and the visit I will make to the office next week. I really really REALLY want this job, so I will not write any more for fear of a jinx.

- Self-consciously cought myself bouncing up the stairs out of the el stop, wondered what others were thinking of my uncharacteristically chipper morning mood. Decided I didn't care. Empowering feeling running through veins.

- Spotting more and more "You Are Beautiful" stickers and signs throughout the city. Constant reminder on the cover of my journal/datebook. I am beautiful. My day is made.

So I'm reading the Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krause Rosenthal, and I secretly believe that I wrote parts of it myself. Needless to say, it is slowly pulling me (kicking and screaming and biting and feigning passing out, like little kids when they want to make picking them up incredibly difficult if not impossible by imitating a 50 pound bag of flour) out of my anti-blog funk. I've been busy (my all time favorite excuse for not doing anything whatsoever) and tired (second favorite excuse) and have been neglecting blogger a bit over the past week or two. I've also been under-whelmed and not at all stimulated to be creative. But I love the book, it gives me an insanely large number of ideas, gets the blood and the thoughts flowing, and makes me smile. I'll be done with it by the end of the week, I'm sure, which makes me sad. I wish it were 10 times longer so I could read it into the summer.

I'm doing more things at work, and have a couple of incredibly important responsibilities on my palate for the next few weeks. It is thrilling and exhilarating and I love it, but it also makes me complain that I'm too busy. Eh. You just can't please me, can you?

I received a new wireless mouse at work this week and it is absolutely the best toy I've played with in a very long time. Extra buttons! Rubber grip! No cords! I love it. I've programmed the extra buttons on the side to switch tasks and minimize screens in order to keep what little privacy I can in my shared office. I have reconfigured my desk to where my boss can see my computer screen. I joke about playing solitaire all the time...I should probably not do that.

I am such a terrible person that I ordered a necklace for my mother in law for mother's day, and I am secretly hoping it arrives too late so I can keep it for myself. It is natural opal and ironstone, cut directly from an Australian boulder, and it is absolutely stunning. Opal is my birthstone, by the way.

I got a pair of brand new pink pants for $6 the other day, just because the seam was coming undone. Now as you probably know, I am a crafty and resourceful person and therefore can easily repair a one inch seam unraveling, and for that I get a great deal on pink pants. Which is nice. I just wanted to share my immense good fortune and seam fixing skills with you.

Hubb and I watched Blue Velvet last night (first for Hubb and third or fourth for me.) I haven't seen the film in a while, and am struck again at how incredibly strange it is. And how similar the cinematography, colors and acting are to Mulholland Drive. He's an incredibly disturbed, talented and fascinating man, that David Lynch. I always forget why I have this underlying strange creepy feeling when I see Dennis Hopper...I am reminded yet again.

Hubb beat me to it, but I also took some photos at the Garfield Park Conservatory that I would like to share. Notice my complete lack of knowledge and creativity when it came time to name the photos. This one is my favorite. Enjoy.

I have a million half started posts, drafts, notes, all saved for ... when? I don't know. I'm busy and I have a short attention span and I can't keep my mind on what I'm trying to do ... write? inform? bullshit? Probably the last.

I have some serious spring fever, I can't even explain. I want to wear skirts. My allergies are making me sick. I miss my mom. I won't be seeing my brother until next Thanksgiving. That's 7 months away and it makes me terribly uneasy and sad. I miss him, too. I may have to hop a plane to the left coast this summer to spend a weekend with him. If only plane tickets were free. And LA didn't suck so bad.

I can't fathom the fact that April is over. Gone. Just like that. A vacation an ocean away, an anniversary (not quite yet celebrated properly), Easter. I am feeling much better at work lately. Which leaves me wondering why I applied for a new job today.

I keep wondering when I'm going to grow up. And know what I'm doing. And feel safe. Things keep changing, and I'm getting better at being OK with that, but it still grates on my nerves. I don't like not knowing. I hate being in the dark. Especially when I'm the one who put myself there.

When I was little I saw the world as a long list of rules, to be obeyed to the letter, solid and rigid: The Way The World Works. I didn't know these rules, I only new that they existed. And that "grown ups" new them. Someday I would, too. Guess what? They don't exist. Everything in life is an exception to something. My world view is constantly changing. It makes me drink wine. It also makes me appreciate things in different ways. Which makes me drink wine...in celebration this time.

I'm learning more about myself every single day. Maybe that's what it means to be a grown up.

You have to keep me busy if you want me to have a good time. I need a schedule, I need things to do. I need to be occupied. For some reason I feel terribly inexplicably guilty about this fact, and am constantly trying to make myself enjoy NOTHINGNESS, but to no avail. This became a small problem in Hawaii, but once I got the daily beach/nap/eat/beach/nap/eat schedule down I was fine. I'm the same way at work. I would rather end the week utterly exhausted from working my ass off, only to collapse in bed at 8pm Friday night, than leave work Friday afternoon with 10 solitaire wins under my belt. I've been busy so far this week. And therefore I like my job again.

I have recently discovered the BEST CANDY EVER. Smoothie Skittles. Yum. I want to make out with whichever food scientist came up with these flavors. Oh my god I've eaten two bags today and it is only 12:00 noon! I can't stop. They are just too good.

I need a manicure. I shall make a date with myself to pamper my hands one night this week. Or maybe I'll do it at work today. Because what's the point of having important stuff to do if I can't procrastinate?

I hate to keep mentioning the vacation again and again and again, but as a milestone both in my life, friendship, and marriage, it has made quite an impression on me. Here are a few of the things I've been thinking about since my return to the mainland:

1. I own too much stuff. I have too many pairs of shoes, too many books, too many (gasp!) purses. Too many useless chatchkies, too many bottles of lotion, too many (double gasp!) kitchen gadgets. It's time to reevaluate and trim down a little bit. Or at least stop growing so fast.

2. I am too rigid. My planner goes with me everywhere, I am seldom without a timepiece of some sort, I hate to break away from the schedule. I live by lists and guides. I need to be more spontaneous.

3. I am too self conscious. Nobody looks at me and whispers "Oh my god, look at her lovehandles!" or "Eww, look at her hair...the tips are just a shade lighter than the rest." or "Did you see the size of the pores on her nose?" or even "Can you believe her nailpolish was so chipped and ragged?". I don't criticize other people that much, so why do I worry about being constantly criticized by others? I'm fine. I need to lighten up.

4. I am just a wee too delicate. If things aren't perfect, if I'm left without my mandatory supplies such as tissues and Advil and lotion and lipgloss, I freak out. If I don't have my usual morning coffee, my lunch within a 3 hour time frame, or at least 7 hours of sleep each night, I have a little bit of trouble coping. I need to learn to live without comfort sometimes, and stop being so high maintenance.

5. I really really want to go to Italy with the Hubb. Drink wine, eat cheese and bread, see buildings that are older and more beautiful than I can imagine. Vacation. Together.

I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend: Yo La Tengo tonight, home-date with the Hubb tomorrow, and cookbook party on Saturday. The cold weather is back, at least for a little bit, so maybe we'll even fit in one last fire in the fireplace for good luck. I could use some smores and warmth and cuddling.

I didn't take as many photos as I had planned, but I did get a couple of pretty good ones:

It feels good to be back home, and though sore from carrying my luggage and a little sunburned, I had an amazing time. I'm still feeling jet lagged and lazy, so here is a list of observations and realizations I came to on my Hawaiian vacation:

1. Sunburning the tops of your feet just may be the most painful place to burn.

2. Hawaii is perfectly normal. I left for my vacation being totally ignorant expecting a remote tropical paradise, and instead was greeted by an incredibly well-developed American state. It was an excellent experience, and I'm not disappointed, just surprised, I guess.

3. Hawaiian pineapple tastes just like the pineapple I buy in Chicago.

4. Hawaii makes one totally and completely un-self-conscious. Everybody wears very few clothes and little, if any makeup. Au natural is the way to go. It was incredibly liberating.

5. A hot sunny day in Chicago is a cloudy cold day in Hawaii. The tropical sun makes everything so much brighter and clearer in Hawaii. Chicago's sun doesn't come close.

6. The Pacific ocean is so clear and bright and colorful...exactly like postcards.

7. There are very few bugs in Hawaii...much fewer than I expected.

8. I look pretty good with a tan.

9. I really really miss my Hubb when we're apart. I feel totally cheesy and romantic, but I don't ever want to take a vacation apart again.

10. I really really miss Chicago when I'm away. It's official...Chicago is my home sweet home.

In 24 hours I will be aboard an airplane bound for paradise. Sun, sand, tropical beverages, seafood, men in grass skirts, Waikiki beach, tank tops and flip flops here I come! I'm tempted to wear my bathing suit as I board the plane and just leave my luggage behind.

I've been lassoed into competing in a foosball tournament at work, the first match of which begins today. I'm a little nervous and incredibly self conscious about participating in competition like this, with people I don't know...but hopefully it will keep me from having to do much work today.

Tomorrow marks the two year anniversary of my wedding. In many ways it seems like the time has just flown by; a year of engagement and two years of marriage gone by in a blink. In many other ways it seems like we've been married for ages; all of the experiences we've had, places we've been, things that we've seen. Two years. It is such a short span of time in the grand scheme of things. Two wonderful exciting years. It gets better every day. I can't wait to see where the rest of our years will take us.

Happy anniversary, Hubb.

It's spring and I couldn't be more excited! Thrilled and happy and pumped am I. I want to sleep outside I'm so ecstatic to see spring arriving...I want to live outdoors and grill and drink on the roof and walk 10 miles a day just to see the gardens begin to grow. I saw the magnolia tree blossoming and the tulips sprouting and the bushes greening and trees beginning to bud today. These sights filled me with love and admiration for my city, knowing that we've endured snow and wind and cold but we can bounce back with a force so powerful to bring tears to my eyes. People in skirts and flip flops and sunglasses and ice cream cones and dogs walking and babies in strollers with little tiny baby sunvisors, and I am so excited that warmth and sun are finally here to save me from the seasonal affective discorder I am so sure I suffer from. No more all black outfits, no more clunky boots and chunky sweaters and skin hiding scarves. Spring! Is! Here! Amen.

symptoms:

1. constant right eyelid twitch, 3 days and counting
2. severe mood swings
3. mid-day nausea
4. nonstop appetite
5. incredible lethargy
6. shorter than normal attention span
7. increasingly annoyed at work
8. sudden leveling off of body weight
9. insatiable pina colada craving
10.slowly increasing size of bathing suit collection

this vacation could not come fast enough.

tonight i'm really looking forward to a glass of wine, a long hot bubble bath, a huge pasta meal and getting in bed at 9pm.

I'm nearly always one of the last people to catch on to things. This flickr business sure is bad ass. I didn't want to get involved but now I'm hooked. This may just be the catalyst I need to get me out and about on the town with my elph more often.

Awesome.

He barked at my on the way to work, so I shot him. I think he just wanted to play. He may have been able to fit in my purse...

I have a feeling this may become a fun series.

I'm in strange sorts today, as I recently learned that my best friend is getting divorced, and another one of my friends is "kind of getting separated" in a moving into different apartments sort of way. Oh my god I think I'm taking it harder than they are. But "it won't happen to you, so don't worry." Um...ok. I guess since I am still pretty young and a lot of my friends are even younger, this is really really freaking me out. I'm too young to be thinking about these things happening to people I know, not to mention trying to help these people through them. It's time to be strong, and with a few glasses of wine in me we'll see just how well that works. K? K.

Just another item to add to the List of Emotions I Did NOT Plan on Feeling This Week: my previously labeled Arch Nemesis Coworker put in his two weeks today, and I suddenly like him and have decided that I am really going to miss him. Strange. Very strange indeed. I wonder if I can have his job?

I got a new pair of sunglasses for Hawaii, and they are all kinds of pinkish brownish clear plastic and totally hot. Not that you were wondering. But they cheered me up a little.

I've decided that my work day needs to end no later than 3pm to allow for a daily nap and an afternoon cocktail. Wouldn't that be nice? Instead I'm just sitting here waiting for 5pm to roll around so I can get on the bus and fall asleep on some woman's shoulder while my earphone falls out of my ear and I drop the 1000 page book I'm reading on the grimy bus floor and lose my place. On my kitchen counter I have the crock pot slowly tenderizing and yummifying a Moroccan lamb stew, and even though I'm totally not hungry I can't wait until I get home to the best smelling house ever.

I'm still feeling rather blah blah blah, so here's a little list, because lists cheer me up.

Things I Need. Desperately.
1. A pretty floral tote bag. Much like this one. I actually have some pretty blue and green floral fabric that I may work on cutting up and sewing back together in a shape similar to that one. I might should get a pattern first.
2. A chocolate bar. Much like this one. I love that there is a venue for giant stuff. That's awesome. I sort of want the giant pink eraser to erase all of the mistakes in my life. That burrito I ate...gone. That last gin and tonic...eliminated. That white pair of shoes that was half a size too small...what white pair of shoes? I don't see any white pair of shoes.
3. I need to take more photos. Seriously. Two of my favorite girlfriends were here all weekend and I have just one blurry drunken photo to prove it. And we are all so cute! More photos should have been taken. Damn it. And I still have no proof of the terrible bowl haircut that threw me into a year and a half long anti-haircut rut...but then again, maybe that's a good thing.
4. An oversized bottle of my favorite pinot grigio to consume in beer-bong fashion. I guess that would be a wine-bong. That sounds fun. And crazy.
5. Lots and lots of hugs.

I need to take more photos.

My girlfriends have come and gone. It was the most fun I've had in a long time, at the same time both incredibly relaxing and insanely exhausting. Boy oh boy have I missed my girls. I'm already thinking about doing it again.

In other news, I found the most wonderfully beautiful red and white wine glasses by Bormioli to replace the insanely cheap half-broken universal set we have been dreaming about getting rid of for months.

I was so thrilled with the red wine glasses I sat and drank water out of them all night last night.

I overslept for two hours this morning, getting to work closer to 11:00 than my usual 8:30. It's a damned good thing I have a really understanding boss. Too bad I'm ready for a nap already.

8 days and I'll be in Hawaii. I don't even need to go into how excited I am about that.